Stealing | Research & Encyclopedia Articles

Taking property belonging to someone else.

Stealing is defined as taking another person's property without permission. Very young children do not understand the concept of personal property. When they see something they want, they simply take it. Young children generally take things for immediate use only, whereas older children will take them "for keeps." Since they have no sense of personal property, young children should not be accused of stealing when they take another person's things without permission. However, the concept of stealing should be explained right from the start, even before the child can understand. If a parent or teacher (or other adult) simply tells the child, "Don't take Sally's crayon," the child will believe only that taking Sally's crayon is wrong, while taking a crayon from Juan, or a cookie from Sally, is okay. A child must be told repeatedly that stealing in general is wrong in order to develop an understanding of the broader issue.

Most children have a basic sense of "mine" and "not mine" by the age of two and can therefore begin to learn respect for other people's possessions. However, a true understanding of the hurtful nature of stealing does not begin to develop until about age five to seven. At this age, children are deterred from stealing mostly by their fear of parental disapproval. Internal motivations of conscience and guilt do not develop until the middle childhood years. Once the recognition of property boundaries appears, stealing becomes an intentional act which must be addressed more deliberately.

Children steal for a number of reasons. Young children, or older children who have not developed sufficient self-control, may steal to achieve instant gratification when an object cannot be obtained immediately by honest means. Others steal to gain a sense of power, to acquire status with peers who resist authority, to get attention, to take revenge on someone who has hurt them, to alleviate boredom, or to vent unresolved feelings of anger or fear. Children who steal are often expressing displaced feelings of anxiety, rage, or alienation resulting from a disruption in their life, such as their parents' divorce or remarriage.

People who feel excluded or disconnected from society have fewer qualms about stealing, because they have no sense of respect, trust, or responsibility in relation to the community. They may even purposely steal in retaliation for the pain they feel society has inflicted on them. Studies have shown a direct correlation between stealing and alienation. Community-building programs in American high schools have greatly reduced the incidence of theft by developing a sense of community among the students and faculty. When a child feels integrally connected with a community, he or she will support all members of that community. Stealing becomes unthinkable in a mutually supportive environment.

While there is no correlation between stealing and social or economic class (members of lower, middle, and upper classes all steal), attitudes toward stealing and its consequences are class-specific. People in lower socioeconomic classes tend to steal material goods by direct, hands-on theft, while members of the middle and upper classes lean more towards "white-collar" crimes such as embezzlement and insider trading. In studies with high school students, lower- and working-class students who were raised in an environment where sheer survival was an issue felt that stealing was a much more serious crime than cheating, whereas middle- and upper-class students who were raised in an academically oriented environment felt that cheating, the theft of knowledge, was much worse than stealing. In terms of consequences (at least in Western society), lower-class crimes of theft are much more severely punished than upper-class, "white-collar" crimes.

A child who is caught stealing for the first time should be treated compassionately; the main focus should be on the reason(s) for the act rather than on the act itself. Parents, teachers, or other adult care givers need to discern if the child lacks self-control, is angry (and with whom), needs attention, is bored, feels pressured by peers to cross boundaries, feels or is alienated from her or his community, has poor self-esteem, or needs to develop more positive moral values. A habitual stealer is expressing a serious internal problem that needs close attention. Children at risk of becoming habitual stealers are individuals with low self-esteem; strong desires and weak self-control (impulsive); a lack of sensitivity to others, or who are angry, bored, or disconnected; spend a great deal of time alone; or have recently experienced a significant disruption in their lives. Stealing is a behavior problem, not a character problem. The behavior can be corrected if the underlying difficulty is resolved.

Moral Development; Discipline

Kurtines, William M., and Jacob L. Gewirtz. Moral Develpment: An Introduction. Boston: Allyn and Bacon, 1995.

Schulman, Michael, and Eva Mekler. Bringing Up a Moral Child: A New Approach for Teaching Your Child to Be Kind, Just, and Responsible. New York: Doubleday, 1994.

Sears, William. The Discipline Book: Everything You Need to Know to Have a Better-Behaved Child —From Birth to Age 10, 1st ed. Boston: Little, Brown and Co., 1995.

Wyckoff, Jerry. How to Discipline Your Six-to-Twelve Year Old: Without Losing Your Mind, 1st ed. New York: Doubleday, 1991.

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