Necessary Losses

Need help with the topic of loss as a necessary part of life.

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Judith Viorst drives home her point through the entire book that life consists of a series of losses. Without them, there would be no gains. If we did not lose the symbiosis with our parents as children, we would not gain the sense of curiosity and wonder to step outside the world of our mothers. If we did not lose the bond with our children that allows us to protect them at every moment, we would not be able to establish a healthy relationship with them as adults. If we did not lose the romantic expectations we bring into marriage, marriage could not exist, since idealistic goals and dreams hit the wall of reality at some point. Our spouses are no more perfect than we are, and we all bring childhood needs and desires to our marriages. Some of the more subtle losses Viorst explores are associated with subjects that are not readily discussed, like our Oedipal attachments to our opposite parents, and the loss we experience when a new baby comes into the home. With each stage of life, we are faced with something we must give up in order to be healthy. Viorst explores some of the proper or more functional ways to let go, or "lose" childhood attachments, since holding on to them results in adult problems. The final, and perhaps the most poignant loss on the road to maturity is letting go of the idea that there is such a thing as absolute safety. As infants and young children, we often believe in this concept, and even carry it into our adult and married lives, seeking to find the person who will keep us from all harm so that we can re-experience the pleasurable feelings that we had when we were bundled, rocked, held, guided and nurtured.

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Source(s)

Necessary Losses, BookRags