Twelfth Night Act 2, Scene 3
Andrew and Toby talk. Toby says that staying up late is really getting up early, and getting up early is healthy. Andrew, who doesn't understand this joke, replies, "I know not: but I know, to be up late, is to be up late." Act 2, Scene 3, line 3 Toby jokes that what they do is wise and healthy, and Andrew, taking him seriously, points out the obvious: they stay up late and spend their time eating and drinking.
The clown enters, and Andrew says that the clown sings very well. Andrew recalls the clown's speech from the night before: the clown made up the names of several "philosophers" and then made up fake quotes for them. Andrew, not realizing that the names and quotes were fake, thinks that the clown is very intelligent. The clown answers with another non-sensical speech. Toby and Andrew request a song, and the clown obliges. He sings about how fleeting love is, and how important it is to catch love while one is young. Toby and Andrew agree that the song is lovely, and ask him to sing again: this time, they want to hear the song, "Thou knave," which begins, "Hold thy peace, thou knave." The clown quips, "I shall never begin if I hold my peace." Act 2, Scene 3, line 69
Maria comes in, complaining about how loud the men are. Toby ignores her, yelling happy nonsense. Andrew compliments Toby, while unconsciously insulting himself (he says he sings "natural," which is a synonym for "fool.") Malvoio rushes in, demanding how they could have so little respect as to be so loud in the middle of the night. He tells Toby that, even though he is related to Olivia, she will be forced to throw him out if he continues to behave this way. Toby ignores him, and he and the clown sing together. Toby asks Malvolio, "Dost thou think because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?" Act 2, Scene 3, line 115 Malvolio tells Maria that if she serves the men any more wine, he will tell Olivia. After he leaves, Maria waves his threat away. Toby tries to get Andrew to challenge Malvolio to a duel, but Maria protests: she will put Malvolio in his place. She explains that he is sometimes a Puritan, and is often arrogant and pretentious. She says she will write a letter that she will leave for Malvolio to find secretly. In the letter, which she will have written in Olivia's handwriting (their script looks nearly identical) she will describe how much she loves a certain person, and then make it clear that the person is Malvolio. Maria invites Andrew, the clown and Toby to watch Malvolio's reaction when he finds the letter. Maria leaves, and Andrew and Toby praise her. Andrew says he will be in trouble if Olivia does not fall in love with him soon, but Toby tells him not to worry: she will love him soon enough, and in the mean time, Andrew should send for more money. They continue drinking.