Sense and Sensibility Chapter 46
Marianne, though weak and pale, is recovering well. They decide to travel back home to Barton Cottage. Returning home is both happy and painful for Marianne, who cannot avoid her memories of Willoughby. Having lots of time to think while she was ill, Marianne now keeps her tears silent, and makes an effort to be happy for the others. She determines to take long walks every day, and spend most of her time in study.
When the weather clears, the girls go out for a walk, and Marianne tells Elinor that if only she knew Willoughby did once love her, and that he was not always a liar, she would be at ease. Knowing she loved someone who could act so poorly says very little for her character. Marianne admits that she compares her conduct with Elinor's, and she knows how little they compare. She feels that she treated everyone terribly, Elinor most of all, because it was Elinor she was supposed to know best. She only let herself be sad, and ignored everyone else's feelings, and for this she is very sorry. Marianne decides that she will make family her first priority, and do her best to restrain her destructive passions. Elinor decides it is time to tell her what Willoughby told her, and she does. Marianne cries quietly, and before retiring to her room, asks Elinor to tell their mother.