I Never Promised You a Rose Garden Chapter 23
Deborah is improving steadily and moves down to B ward where she is Carla's roommate. Carla came back for a rest from the world, and she and Deborah enjoy each other's company. Deborah begins to see the beauty in the world and realizes that if she is going to live, then she must be of the same substance as people of the world. That means that she cannot taint anyone with her poisonous essence, and she is relieved.
She and Furii discuss the impossibility of her attempt to kill Suzy. Deborah is relieved to remember that, while she wanted to kill her sister in the way that all small children jealously want to kill the rival for their parents' attention, she never made any attempt on Suzy's life.
At dinner Deborah notices that Carla's hands are trembling, and without thinking, Deborah reaches out to hold Carla's hands. The impulsive act of kindness suggests to Deborah that she might even be a good person, which is a thought that has never occurred to her before.
As much as Deborah likes the world, she still wants Yr to be available to her, but she thinks that it has gone away.