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Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra
Born in Alcalá de Hanares, Spain in 1547, Cervantes was one of seven children. His father, a barber-surgeon (performed minor medical procedures such as setting bones and blood-letting) moved the family about constantly. Not much is known regarding his early education, however, it is certain that he never attended university.
In his twenties, Cervantes' life reads like an adventure novel, many aspects of which appear in his book, Don Quijote. After publishing his first poem, he worked for a time as a chamberlain for a cardinal in Rome, then enlisted in the army. Known for his courage, he lost the use of his left hand (in a battle at sea) against the Turks in 1571. On a return voyage to Spain in 1575, he and his brother were captured by Barbary pirates, with Cervantes remaining unransomed until 1580 when his family were finally able to raise the money.
Cervantes spent the rest of his life writing and employed in various civil servant positions; for which he showed no aptitude since his financial documentation often resulted in litigation and even time in prison. He sired one child with a married woman (later gaining custody the child) and eventually married another woman before the age of forty. He was paid well for La Galatea, a pastoral romance (a new popular genre); published in 1585. Cervantes also wrote several plays but was unable to earn enough to make a living solely as a playwright and returned to civil service.
Finally, in 1605 Cervantes' parody on chivalric romance -- The Ingenious Hidalgo Don Quixote of La Mancha was published. Like the romance novels of today, chivalric romances were the most popular published fiction of the day. Cervantes mocks their unrealistic plots, characterizations and plethora of virgins, giants, knights and magicians. The book was an immediate success, with Cervantes following it up with a sequel ten years later; following on the heels of Avellaneda's (pseudonym) illegitimate sequel.
Cervantes died in 1616. Cervantes' Don Quijote is recognized for opening the door to the possibilities of the novel. His deft characterizations and insights into human nature influenced Freud; who claimed that Cervantes led him to make several psychoanalytical discoveries. Don Quijote has been translated into almost every language and after the Bible, is the most widely published book in the world.
Cervantes, Miguel de. Don Quijote. Translated by Burton Raffel. Edited by Diana de Armas Wilson. New York, London: W.W. Norton & Company, 1999.
Nicolás Wey-Gómez. "Anselmo's Eating Disorder". From Don Quijote. Translated by Burton Raffel. Edited by Diana de Armas Wilson. New York, London: W.W. Norton & Company, 1999.
Encyclopedia Britannica Online. "Cervantes Saavedra, Miguel de".
Coloquio: Revista Cultural en Español. "Famous Hispanics: Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra".
Wittman, Sandra. "Cervantes' Man of La Mancha". Oakton Community College.
Prior to his reinvention of himself, Don Quijote's name was Alonso Quijano, owner of an estate in La Mancha. After years of obsessively reading books of chivalry, his mind finally snaps and he decides to become an actual knight errant like those in the tales he has read.
He initially ventures forth alone with only his horse, Rocinante and his hand-me-down armor and helmet. All the knight errants in the tales he has read had a lady love that they worshipped and Don Quijote decides he will be no exception and chooses Aldonza Lorenza (a peasant girl from a nearby village of Toboso to whom he has never spoken) and reinvents her into Dulcinea del Toboso, a lady.
He returns home from his first adventure where he injures innocent muledrivers in order to better prepare himself with money and a squire. He convinces Sancho Panza (a poor married farmer with children) to become his squire and they set out to right wrongs and perform great deeds. Instead, Don Quijote generally injures the innocent and wreaks havoc everywhere he goes; getting him and his squire beaten up in the process.
Sancho stays out loyalty and his own growing delusion that his master will be able to secure a governorship of an island for his squire as he has promised. Eventually, his friends -- the village priest and village barber -- from his village travel to rescue him. They arrive on the scene just after Don Quijote has finished mimicking a lover gone insane butt naked in the mountains. Through the help of a wronged maiden named Dorotea who volunteers to play Princess Micomicona they lure him out of the mountains, back to civilization and finally trap him in a crate and carry him home. That's the end of Volume 1.
In Volume 2, a new character enters the story -- Samson Carrasco. He is a university student who seeks out Don Quijote after reading of him in a published book of he and Sancho's adventures written by a Moor named Sidi Hamid Benengeli. Squire and master sneak off again to pursue their delusions and dreams. This time Don Quijote wants to see his idealized lady love, Dulcinea, before his adventures and asks his squire to lead him to her. Sancho who lied through his teeth about having delivered a message to her in Volume 1 has no idea where she lives and instead points out a homely girl from Toboso claiming that he sees a beautiful Dulcinea. Don Quijote believes that the evil magicians who persecute him have placed her under an enchantment that (initially) only causes her to appear homely to Don Quijote's eyes.
Aside from creating a minor skirmish with some puppets, most of their adventures this time result from people recognizing them; with the fallout coming down on their own heads. They meet up with a Duke and Duchess (who read and loved the book about them) who adopt the pair as their own personal playthings and with their imaginative steward create practical jokes, adventures and disasters
for Sancho and Don Quijote. They devise stories and assemble servants to play the necessary parts. A sampling of their choreographed creations includes: cursed bearded ladies-in-waiting, an enchanted Dulcinea who now needs the squire to whip his bare buttocks 3,300 times to free her, an "island" Barataria where Sancho finally gets a chance to govern, and a lovesick maiden who dies from her unsatisfied love for Don Quijote whom Sancho brings back to life by enduring some prescribed physical abuse.
Sancho grows in wisdom and self-esteem throughout this volume. Don Quijote is brought down to reality when the disguised Samson Carrasco challenges him and wins; forcing Don Quijote to go home.
Feeling like a failure as they return home, Don Quijote, perks up as he begins reinventing himself as a romantic pastoral shepherd. However, it is not to be, for after he is home he soon becomes gravely ill; but returns to sanity and reality and reclaims his former name and identity -- Alonso Quijano, and dies soon after.
Don Quijote: Born Alonso Quijano, he owns a dwindling estate in La Mancha. He sold off land to purchase many books about chivalry. Obsessed with knight errantry, he eventually decides to become one and mimic the adventures and heroics of heroes in his beloved books.
Señor Pero Perez: The village priest who so concerned for Don Quijote, he journeys to rescue him and successfully brings him home in Volume One.
Master Nicolas: The village barber and surgeon who travels with the priest to rescue his delusional neighbor Don Quijote and successfully brings him home in Volume One.
Dulcinea/Aldonza Lorenzo: Initially, at the beginning of Volume One the story states that Don Quijote chose a real woman whom he had seen, but never spoken to, from the neighboring village of Toboso to be his lady love. He renames her Dulcinea and no one knows her true identity. In Volume One, he mentions her original name to Sancho who says he knows her and she is one heck of a gal. However, later in Volume One, and continuing in Volume Two, Sancho speaks as if he has never seen her in his life. Dulcinea (Aldonza Lorenzo) never appears in person in either volume.
Sancho Panza: A poor farmer with a wife and two children becomes Don Quijote's squire. In Volume One, he endures much to return home with a bag of gold coins. In Volume Two, he emerges from his role of side kick to become a fully realized character and his own man. He has his own adventure as a governor of the long-awaited island where he surprises everyone with his wisdom amidst much hardship and teasing. Although, a practical joke invented by the Duke and Duchess, Sancho nevertheless grows through the experience as if he had been a real governor.
Innkeeper (Juan Palomeque): He owns the inn where much of Volume 1 takes place. He helps the priest and barber from La Mancha by lending them disguises and allowing the Don Quijote (the guest from hell!) to stay once again at his inn.
Wife of innkeeper: The wife of the innkeeper who graciously lends her donkey tail to disguise the barber.
Daughter of innkeeper: The very pretty daughter who Don Quijote fantasizes about visiting him in his bed.
Maritornes: She works at the inn and does a bit of freelance work on the side with some of the male guests. She is portrayed as being extremely homely (okay, downright ugly). She shows her heart of gold when she buys Sancho wine with her own money.
Cardenio: Luscinda's fiancee who lives as a madman in Sierra Morena Mountains after seeing her wedding.
Luscinda: She was Cardenio's fiancee first and then Don Fernando's.
Don Fernando: The cad who 'wed' and bedded Dorotea and tried to steal Luscinda from Cardenio.
Dorotea: She is Don Fernando’s jilted wife. She also played Princess Micomicona and miraculously changed the character of Don Fernando.
The 'Captive' (Ruy Pérez de Viedma): Zoraida sends him ransom money by stick and handkerchief and he brings her to Spain.
Zoraida/Maria: A Moorish woman who is a Christian and wishes to go to Spain so that she can live as one.
Teresa/Juana: She is Sancho's wife. Once she learns that her husband has been made governor, she begins adapting so that she can take her place by his side.
Rocinante: Don Quijote's old horse who is friends with Sancho's donkey.
Donkey: This is Sancho's loyal donkey . He mysteriously disappears and appears in Volume One, which is explained at the beginning of Volume Two. He is very attached to Rocinante, whom he follows faithfully.
Samson Carrasco: College graduate who disguises himself as the 'Knight of the Wood' (or Mirrored Knight) and 'Knight of the White Moon' and challenges Don Quijote.
Duchess: She owns a castle on an estate and spends her spare time (she's got a lot) playing pranks on Don Quijote and Sancho.
Duke: He owns a castle on an estate and spends his free time (he has a lot) playing pranks on Don Quijote and Sancho.
Doña Rodríguez: An older long-suffering lady-in-waiting or duena who Sancho likes to irritate. She asks Don Quijote to help her pregnant daughter regain her honor by challenging the young noble. This is thwarted by the Duke who recieves money from the young noble's father.
Altisidora: A younger lady-in-waiting who pretends to be in love with Don Quijote. She also pretends to be dead and to have seen devils playing racquetball.
Housekeeper: She works for Don Quijote at his estate.
niece: A niece of Don Quijote who lives at his estate.
boy: A boy who helps on the estate
Amadis of Gaul: A well-known character from books of chivalry.
Two prostitutes: Worked at first inn Don Quijote visited.
innkeeper: Owner of first inn Don Quijote visited before Sancho was squire.
Muledriver #1: First muledriver Don Quijote beat s at first inn.
Muledriver #2: Second muledriver Don Quijote beat at first inn.
Andrés/fifteen year old boy: He was tied to a tree and whipped by his master.
Muledriver #3 (mean): He broke Don Quijote's lance and thrashed him with it.
Two muledrivers #4, #5: These two beat up Sancho when he tries to take some friars' frocks as battle spoils.
Basque man: A page who removes half of Don Quijote's helmet and part of his ear.
Sidi Hamid Benengeli: Author of first book of Don Quijote's adventures
Grisóstomo: A student turned shepherd who died of a broken heart because of his unrequited love for Marcela.
Marcela: An heiress turned shepherdess who is not interested in love or marriage.
Ambrosio: Grisóstomo's friend who blames Marcela for his death.
Vivaldo: A man Don Quijote meets on the way to the funeral.
Muledrivers # 6 : These are from Yanguas and beat Don Quijote, Sancho and Rocinante because the horse got frisky with their ponies.
Muledriver #7: He beats Don Quijote for trying to steal his date -- Maritornes
group of priests and muledrivers #8: Don Quijote scares this group off.
Alonzo Lopez: Priest whose leg Don Quijote broke.
Barber: He is the original owner of golden basin or Helmet of Mambrino.
Chaingang of Prisoners: Don Quijote sets them free.
Ginés de Pasamonte: One of the prisoners that Don Quijote sets free.
Princess Micomicona: A part 'played' by Dorotea.
Anselmo: The husband in 'The Man Who Couldn't Keep from Prying.'
Lothario: The friend in 'The Man Who Couldn't Keep from Prying.'
Camila: The wife in 'The Man Who Couldn't Keep from Prying.'
Leonela: The sly servant in 'The Man Who Couldn't Keep from Prying.'
Renegade: He helps the captive and Zoraida.
Hadji Murad: Zoraida's rich father who accuses her of leaving him so that she can satisfy her sexual appetite.
Arnaute Mamí: The captive's master and actual name of pirate captain that captured Cervantes.
The French: They sink the captive's ship, steal their possessions but give Zoraida forty doubloons.
Juan Pérez de Viedma (the judge): The captive's brother who is a judge.
Dona Clara: The judge's daughter who is in love with Don Luis.
Don Luis: A boy who loves Dona Clara and has left home to follow her.
Cathedral priest: He offers the opinion that women have no control over their instincts.
Eugenio: A shepherd who verbally abuses his goats.
Leandra: A maiden who chose the wrong man and ended up in her underwear.
Translator: Translator of Sidi Hamid's books on Don Quijote.
Little Sancho: Sancho's son.
Sanchica/Mari Sancha: Sancho's daughter.
Homely village girl: The girl Sancho chose to be the enchanted version of Dulcinea.
Troupe of actors: They hit the donkey with ox bladders.
Don Antonio Moreno: Don Quijote and Sancho's host in Barcelona.
Anna Felix: Ricote the Moor's daughter.
Knight of White Moon: Carrasco's disguise in Barcelona where he defeats Don Quijote.
Don Alvaro Tarfe: A character from Avellaneda's book whom Don Quijote and Sancho meet.
Knight of the Wood: Also known as the 'Mirrored Knight.' It is Samson Carrasco in disguise.
Casildea of Vandelia: Knight of the Wood's lady love.
Squire of Knight of the Wood: Sancho's neighbor and friend Tomé Cecial whom he recognizes after huge nose comes off.
Don Diego de Miranda: A traveler they meet who invites them to his home even after seeing the 'Lion Adventure.'
Don Lorenzo: Don Diego's son who is a poet.
Doña Christina: Don Diego's wife.
Corchelo: University student who invites Don Quijote and Sancho to wedding.
'The Swordsman': He convinces Corchelo of the merits of studying fencing.
Quiteria the Beautiful: She is the he bride-to-be of Camacho the Rich.
Camacho the Rich: He is the groom-to-be of Quiteria the Beautiful.
Basilio: A shepherd and Quiteria's true love, who tricks Camacho and marries Quiteria right in front of his nose.
Basilio's cousin: Acts as Don Quijote's guide to Montesino's Cave.
Montesino: He cut out the heart of his friend Durandarte (after he was dead).
Durandarte: He asked for his heart to be brought to his lady love after his death.
Lady Belarma: Durandarte's lady whose beauty is suffering from her long enchantment.
Man with jackass and weapons: An inhabitant from village that is being teased.
Future soldier: An eighteen year old lad off to join the army.
Alderman: He lost his donkey, only to find him dead. But he discovers that he and another alderman are excellent brayers.
Maestro Pedro the Puppeteer: Gines de Pasamonte in his new career
Priest: The Duke and Duchess's in-residence priest who leaves in a huff when he sees that Don Quijote and Sancho will be remaining as guests.
Merlin: He makes a cameo appearance in the woods and tells how Sancho can free Dulcinea.
Veiled Nymph/Dulcinea: Played by a servant of Duke and Duchess.
Countess Trifaldi/Lady Dolorida: She suffered from a bearded enchantment along with her dueñas.
Antonomasia: Daughter of the Countess that Countess Trifaldi was a lady-in-waiting to.
Don Clavijo: Antonomasia's reluctant husband.
Giant Malambruno: Cousin to Antonomasia's mother .
Pedro Recio de Agüero: Sancho's doctor on Baratario Island.
Secretary: Sancho's secretary in Baratario.
Steward: Sancho's steward in Baratario and choreographer of Duke and Duchess's practical jokes.
Ricote the Moor: An old neighbor of Sancho's in exile.
Don Pedro Gregorio: A rich, young man in love with Ricote's daughter.
Tosilos: The Duke and Duchess's footman who offered to marry Doña Rodríguez's daughter.
Doña Rodríguez's daughter: Pregnant and spurned by lover who promised marriage.
Don Gerónimo: The man who shows Don Quijote the awful sequel written by Avellaneda.
Avellaneda: Pseudonym of author who wrote ersatz second volume of Don Quijote's adventure.
Rocque Guinart: Leader of band of bandits and actual historical figure.
Claudia Jerónima: Hasty, jealous assassin of lover.
Don Vincent Torrelas: Claudia's doomed and dead lover.
La Mancha: Don Quijote's home town.
Books of chivalry/knight errantry: Don Quijote was obsessed with these novels and sold off part of his estate to purchase these books for his library.
Helmet: Don Quijote's first helmet is a dilapidated hand-me-down from his grandfather that is destroyed in a fight with a Basque. He later replaces it with a barber's basin that he believes to be the famous Helmet of Mambrino. In Volume 2, Don Quijote speaks of needing another helmet and Samson Carrasco says that he can get hold of a rusty one for him.
Four Books of Amadís of Gaul: These books contain the story of Don Quijote's favorite hero from chivalric tales.
Island: In Volume 1, Don Quijote promises governorship of one to Sancho when Don Quijote becomes an emperor or receives honors and awards for some great deed. In Volume 2, the Duke and Duchess create a mock island and governorship for Sancho.
Suit of Armor: Don Quijote's armor -- that had belonged to his grandfather, which returns home on the back of Sancho's donkey at the end of Volume 1.
Saracen Fierabrás balm: Legendary ointment (named after a giant who swiped some leftover embalming fluid used for Jesus) that cures all knight errant's injuries. Don Quijote whips up a batch in Volume 1 that produces dramatic results in both their digestive tracks.
Mambrino's helmet: Legendary helmet that turns up as barber's basin.
Harness & Bridle: Sancho traded his old one's for barber's (of basin fame) after the barber ran for his life.
Saddlebag: Sancho traded his old one's for barber's (of basin fame) after the barber ran for his life.
Donkey tail: The innkeeper's wife lent this to the priest and barber to use as a beard to disguise barber from Don Quijote. She later becomes obsessed with their returning it to her.
Crate: Don Quijote's friends drag and lock him into one in order to bring him home since he will not return of his own free will and place it upon an ox-cart. During the trip (while Don Quijote wonders why this magical journey does not match with any in his books) it becomes soiled with his urine.
The Inn: The unfortunate inn that Don Quijote and Sancho stay at the most.
The cage: In a story told by the barber from La Mancha, a patient in an insane asylum is kept in one.
The History of that Ingenious Gentleman, Don Quijote de La Mancha: The book by Sidi Hamid Benengeli chronicling Don Quijote and Sancho's adventures. It is referred to constantly in Volume 2, where Don Quijote and Sancho are recognizable, famous figures to the characters in this volume due to people having read the book.
Knight of the Sad Face: Don Quijote's first nickname.
Mirrored Golden Cloak: The Garment Carrasco wore as part of his disguise as the Knight of the Woods/The Mirrored Knight at his first attempt to fight Don Quijote in order to bring him home.
Two huge lions: Caged lions that would rather sleep than fight Don Quijote.
The Knight of the Lions: Don Quijote's new nickname after his anticlimactic run-in with the caged lions.
Montesino's Cave: Don Quijote creates a dream-like adventure here.
Prophetic Monkey: It belongs to the puppeteer (who turns out to be Gines de Pasamonte -- the convict that Don Quijote set free in Volume 1). Don Quijote takes an instant dislike to the monkey and distrusts it.
Puppets: Don Quijote beheads the puppets during the puppet show believing he is rescuing a princess.
Zaragoza: Don Quijote and Sancho were originally headed to this city to enter the jousting tournaments. When Don Quijote learns that Avellaneda lied in his book and said that he had been there already, he deliberately avoids the city to prove him a liar.
Flour Mills: These were on the River Ebro and Don Quijote takes them for a castle city.
Estate: The estate belonging to the Duke and Duchess.
Castle: The castle belonging to the Duke and Duchess.
Clavileño: The wooden flying horse sent by the giant Malumbruno.
Baratario Island: The 'island' that Sancho has waited for so long where he becomes governor.
Three handkerchiefs: These belonged to Altisidora who let Don Quijote keep them. They are valued as a great prize.
Nets of Green Cord: The partiers set these up to catch birds, but caught Don Quijote first.
Bas Relief Carvings of Saints: Sancho refers to this as their gentlest adventure.
Bulls: Despite Don Quijote's admonition for them to stop, they trample him, Sancho, Rocinante and donkey into the ground.
Don Quijote de La Mancha: The Second Part: Avellaneda's untrue sequel about Don Quijote and Sancho's further adventures.
Barcelona: The city in which Don Quijote is defeated by the Knight of the White Moon (Carrasco).
Herd of pigs: After leaving Barcelona, Don Quijote and Sancho are trampled by pigs.
Martyrs: Sancho wonders if it would be easier to become famous saints and martyrs instead of pursuing knight errantry.
Books blown up round like balls with hot air and garbage: Sports equipment from hell. The devils hit these with racquets and they instantly disappear.
Quote 1:"I'm a loafer by nature, I'm too lazy to go hunting for authors who say what I already know how to say without their help." Volume 1, Prologue, pg. 8
Quote 2: "The ability to reason the un-reason which has afflicted by reason saps my ability to reason, so that I complain with good reason of your infinite loveliness." Volume 1, Chapter 1, pg. 13
Quote 3: "...which even Aristotle couldn't have comprehended if he'd come back to life just for that purpose." Volume 1, Chapter 1, pg. 14
Quote 4: "Let everyone in the world halt, unless the entire world acknowledges that nowhere on earth is there a damsel more beautiful than the Empress of La Mancha, she who has no equal, Dulcinea Del Toboso." Volume 1, Chapter 4, pg. 29
Quote 5: "Those who have been told the truth should not be taken for those who have been scorned." Volume 1, Chapter 14, pg. 78
Quote 6: "And the good gentleman was so far gone in his fantasy that neither the touch, the smell, nor anything else about the good damsel -- which would have made anyone but a muledriver vomit -- disillusioned him in the slightest." Volume 1, Chapter 16, pg. 89
Quote 7: "I'm sure, Señor, this is really the Moorish enchanter, who's keeping the treasure for other people, and saving, especially for us, all the heavy fists and banging lamps." Volume 1, Chapter 17, pg. 93
Quote 8: "I don't see how you could be righting wrongs...because you've turned me from right to wrong, leaving me with a broken leg." Volume 1, Chapter 19, pg. 107
Quote 9: "Now, señor, just see how Heaven, touched by my tears and my pleas has ordained that Rocinante shall not move." Volume 1, Chapter 20, pg. 112
Quote 10: "To tell you the truth...you've told one of the most novel tales ... anyone in the world has ever thought of, and the way you told it, and then ended it, is something never to be seen, and never ever seen, in the course of a lifetime, though I expected nothing less from your remarkable powers of reasoning." Volume 1, Chapter 20, pg. 114
Quote 11: "[S]traighten out the barber's basin you've got on your head." Volume 1, Chapter 22, pg. 133
Quote 12: "'That's exactly it,' replied Don Quijote, 'that's just how beautifully I've worked it all out -- because for a knight errant to go crazy for good reason, how much is that worth? My idea is to become a lunatic for no good reason at all.'" Volume 1, Chapter 25, pg. 151
Quote 13: "[F]or what I want of Dulcinea del Toboso, she's every bit as good as the noblest princess on earth." Volume 1, Chapter 25, pg. 156
Quote 14: "And so, to sum it all up, I perceive everything I say as absolutely true, and deficient in nothing whatever, and paint it all in my mind exactly as I want it to be." Volume 1, Chapter 25, pg. 157
Quote 15: "[W]e now enjoy...not only the delight of his own absolutely veracious tale but also all those other stories and narrative digressions which, to some extent, are no less delightful and skillfully told, and every bit as true, as his own history." Volume 1, Chapter 28, pg. 178
Quote 16: "[He] began to say such things to me that I cannot fathom how anyone could have such a facility at lying and still make his lies sound like truths. The traitor make his tears vouch for his words... I somehow began -- I don't know how -- to believe his lies, though...[they] didn't stir me to anything more than simple compassion." Volume 1, Chapter 28, pg. 182
Quote 17: "For the love of God, sir knight errant, if you ever meet me again, please, even if you see me being cut into little pieces, don't rush to my aid or try to help me, but just let me be miserable, because no matter what they're doing to me it couldn't be worse than what will happen if your grace helps, so may God curse you and every knight errant who's ever been born in the world." Volume 1, Chapter 31, pg. 209
Quote 18: "It seems to me utterly clear either that you do not really know me, or I do not really know you." Volume 1, Chapter 33, pg. 218
Quote 19: "A stubborn, stupid wish has taken my life. Should Camila happen to hear of my death, let her know I forgive her, because there was no need for her to perform miracles, nor should I have wanted her to, and since I myself fashioned my own dishonor." Volume 1, Chapter 35, pg. 247
Quote 20: "You have won, my lovely Dorotea, you have won. How could anyone deny such a weight of truth?" Volume 1, Chapter 36, pg. 251
Quote 21: "I do not give it to you so you may kiss it, but rather so you may see how its sinews are structured, its muscles knitted together, the breadth and capacity of its veins, from all of which you should be able to calculate the strength of the arm which has such a hand." Volume 1, Chapter 43, pg. 301
Quote 22: "[S]o you'll simply have to resign yourself -- you, and your ass, too -- to the sad fact that this is indeed a decorative harness and not a saddlebag, and your case has been singularly badly argued and substantiated." Volume 1, Chapter 45, pg. 311
Quote 23: "[K]nights errant are exempt from the application of all laws and statutes, that for them law is their sword, statutes are their spirit, and edicts and proclamations are their will and desire." Volume 1, Chapter 45, pg. 314
Quote 24: "'No one's gotten me pregnant'...'and I'm not the kind of man who lets himself get pregnant, not even by the king, and though I may be poor, I'm an Old Christian...'" Volume 1, Chapter 47, pg. 325
Quote 25: "Ah, ah, now I understand you, Sancho! Oh yes, lots of times, and I feel it coming right now. Get me out of this pickle, because it's already pretty messy in here!" Volume 1, Chapter 49, pg. 333
Quote 26: "I think and believe that I'm enchanted, and this satisfies my conscience, for it would weigh heavily upon me, if I believed I wasn't enchanted and had let myself be locked up in this crate like a lazy coward." Volume 1, Chapter 49, pg. 333
Quote 27: "...to get rid of the disgust and nausea caused by this other Don Quijote." Volume 2, Dedication, pg. 359
Quote 28: "'You think it's easy...swelling up a dog like that?'...'Do you think it's easy, your grace, making a book?'" Volume 2, Prologue, pg. 361
Quote 29: "'Mine, Sir Scraper and Shaver,' said Don Quijote, 'would be sensible, not senseless.'" Volume 2, Chapter 1, pg. 363
Quote 30: "[A]nd I, for all that, will stay in my asylum, if there's no chaplain to take me out of it, and if that Jupiter, as the barber tells us, won't rain, well, here I am, and I'll rain whenever I want to. Which I say because I want Mr. Barber-Basin to know I understand him." Volume 2, Chapter 1, pg. 368
Quote 31: "Blessings on Sidi Hamid Benengeli, who has left us your magnificence's history, and even more blessings on the inquiring mind responsible for translating that history from Arabic into our native Castillian, for the universal entertainment of all peoples." Volume 2, Chapter 3, pg. 375
Quote 32: "[Y]ou think you're brave and courageous, when you're really old; you think you're strong, when you're really feeble; you think you can go righting wrongs when age has bent you in half -- and, above all, that you're a knight, when you're not, because even though gentlemen can become knights, poor ones can't!" Volume 2, Chapter 6, pg. 390
Quote 33: "'And I'll bet,' said Sancho, 'you got it right away...but you wanted to get me all bothered, so you could hear me make a couple of dozen more mistakes.'
'That's possible,' replied Don Quijote." Volume 2, Chapter 7, pg. 394
Quote 34: "[A]lthough it's true I'm pretty clever, and I'm something of a rascal, but all that's well hidden under this always easy and natural disguise of behaving like a fool." Volume 2, Chapter 8, pg. 399
Quote 35: "[F]or land that's dry and unfruitful will give you good crops, if you put on enough manure...I mean, your grace's words have been like manure spread on the barren ground of my dry and uncultivated mind." Volume 2, Chapter 12, pg. 418
Quote 36: "I tell you, when it comes to asking stupid questions and giving crazy answers, I don't need to go looking for help from my neighbors." Volume 2, Chapter 22, pg. 476
Quote 37: "[I]f not, oh my cousin, what I say is: patience, and shuffle the cards." Volume 2, Chapter 23, pg. 482
Quote 38: "Tell me, you brand-new buffoon and thoroughly ancient pest." Volume 2, Chapter 31, pg. 523
Quote 39: "'By God and my conscience,' responded the Devil, 'I paid no attention to him, for my mind was so busy with so many things that, for the moment, I'd almost forgotten what I was up to.'"
'Clearly,' said Sancho, 'this devil must be both a good man and a good Christian, or he'd never have sworn "By God and my conscience," I begin to see that, even in Hell, there must be decent people.'" Volume 2, Chapter 34, pg. 545
Quote 40: "What the hell has my ass got to do with magic?" Volume 2, Chapter 35, pg. 549
Quote 41: "[B]ut if the rice is already boiling, don't stir it up, even if it's getting sticky." Volume 2, Chapter 37, pg. 558
Quote 42: "'[A]s Sancho says, silence is golden.'
'That must be some other Sancho,' said Don Quijote." Volume 2, Chapter 43, pg. 584
Quote 43: "[J]okers find that they're the ones being fooled." Volume 2, Chapter 49, pg. 615
Quote 44: "[S]o I have had to pay in spades for my vanity, because I ought to have understood that my feeble Rocinante could never withstand a horse so immensely strong as the Knight of the White Moon's." Volume 2, Chapter 66, pg. 709
Quote 45: "[A]nd since in all this the fault is yours, your grace, you ought to punish yourself, instead of venting your anger on this armor...and you shouldn't blame it on Rocinante's meek, mild ways, or even on the softness of my feet." Volume 2, Chapter 66, pg. 710
Quote 46:"...that what applies here is the old saying about the pot calling the kettle black." Volume 2, Chapter 67, pg 716
Quote 47: "...and bless the man who invented sleep, a cloak to cover over all human thought, food that drives away hunger, water that banishes thirst, fire that heats up cold, chill that moderates passion and, finally universal currency with which all things can be bought, weight and balance that brings the shepherd and the king, the fool and the wise, to the same level." Volume 2, Chapter 68, pg. 717
Quote 48: "...that wouldn't be so bad, if I have to cure the world's problems by being everybody's scapegoat." Volume 2, Chapter 69, pg. 724
Quote 49: "...conjuring up images of anyone she thinks she loves." Volume 2, Chapter 70, pg. 729
Quote 50: "...has won the battle with himself, and that according to what he's told me, is the greatest victory anyone could want." Chapter 72, pg. 737
Quote 51: "I am in my right mind, now, clear-headed and free of the murky darkness of ignorance, brought upon me by my continual, bitter reading of those abominable books of chivalry." Volume 2, Chapter 74, pg. 742
Volume 2, Chapter 11
Donkey Imagery 1: Sancho and Don Quijote are angry because the clown hit the donkey with the oxbladders.
Volume 2, Chapter 12
Donkey Imagery 2: Rocinante are the best of friends -- helping each other scratch hard-to-reach places and resting neck on neck.
Volume 2, Chapter 25
Donkey Imagery 3: The alderman finds his donkey dead -- apparently eaten by wolves.
Volume 2, Chapter 27
Donkey Imagery 4: The villagers place the partly conscious Sancho upon his donkey; who devotedly follows Rocinante.
Volume 2, Chapter 28
Donkey Imagery 5: Don Quijote tells Sancho that he is a donkey and will always be a donkey.
Volume 2, Chapter 29
Donkey Imagery 6: As they head out in the boat, Sancho starts crying when he hears his donkey braying plaintively.
Volume 2, Chapter 33
Donkey Imagery 7: The Duchess tells Sancho that he can take his donkey with him when he becomes governor and spoil him.
Volume 2, Chapter 34
Donkey Imagery 8: Don Quijote finds Sancho hanging from a tree by his pants with his faithful donkey by his side.
Volume 2, Chapter 49
Donkey Imagery 9: Sancho tells the butler that he expects good food for him and his donkey.
Volume 2, Chapter 53
Donkey Imagery 10: Sancho hugs his donkey and calls him friend and reminisces about the happier times spent traveling together before he got so ambitious.
Volume 2, Chapter 55
Donkey Imagery 11: In the pit, Sancho imagines that one day when they find his and his donkey's bones, they will know who died down here since he and his donkey were inseparable.
Volume 2, Chapter 65
Donkey Imagery 12: As Don Quijote and Sancho leave Barcelona, Sancho walks as his donkey carries Don Quijote's armor and weapons.
Volume 2, Chapter 73
Donkey Imagery 13: Sancho's donkey arrives in town decked out in Sancho's flame covered cloak and hat. Two little boys comment on how Sancho's donkey has come back all dressed up and Don Quijote's horse is skinnier than when he went away.
Volume 1, Chapter 2
Grandiosity 1: Don Quijote fantasizes about how he and his great deeds (that he has yet to accomplish) will be depicted in a future book on knight errantry.
Grandiosity 2: Don Quijote hears a pig herder's horn and believes it is a dwarf announcing his important arrival.
Grandiosity 3: Don Quijote, refusing to cut the ribbons from his helmet, takes it as his due that three people have to feed him.
Volume 1, Chapter 3
Grandiosity 4: Don Quijote has brought no money with him because he has never read of a knight errant paying for anything like normal people.
Grandiosity 5: Don Quijote (holding a vigil in the inn's courtyard) refuses two muledrivers to water their thirsty animals and hits them with his spear when they refuse to leave.
Volume 1, Chapter 4
Grandiosity 6: Don Quijote assumes that the man, who was whipping the boy, will obey his order to pay the boy his wages.
Grandiosity 7: Astride Rocinante, Don Quijote stands in the middle of the road and demands that a group of travelers agree with him that Dulcinea is the most beautiful woman in the world
Volume 1, Chapter 5
Grandiosity 8: Don Quijote tells his neighbor that his heroic deeds surpass those of twenty-one heroes.
Volume 1, Chapter 11
Grandiosity 9: Don Quijote demands that Sancho sit next to him so that he can earn a reward from God for humbling himself by sitting next to a mere squire.
Volume 1, Chapter 16
Grandiosity 10: Don Quijote tells the innkeeper's wife that she is a very lucky woman to have him as her guest.
Volume 1, Chapter 17
Grandiosity 11: A constable investigating the nighttime commotion at the inn calls Don Quijote "my good fellow." Don Quijote calls the constable an idiot for speaking with such familiarity to a knight errant.
Volume 1, Chapter 18
Grandiosity 12: Don Quijote tells Sancho that all these misfortunes are Don Quijote's alone and have nothing to do with Sancho.
Volume 1, Chapter 19
Grandiosity 13: Don Quijote situates himself in the middle of the road to demand that a party of travelers inform him of their identities and itinerary so that he can judge whether to punish or aid them.
Volume 1, Chapter 22
Grandiosity 14: Ginés de Pasamonte, an arrogant prisoner in a chaingang, threatens one of the guards while still chained up.
Volume 1, Chapter 25
Grandiosity 15: Don Quijote boasts of his penchant for reinventing reality as he sees fit.
Volume 1, Chapter 33
Grandiosity 16: Anselmo tells Camila that she has been told what he wants (that Lothario keep an eye on her and the house while he is away) and all she need do now is obey him.
Volume 1, Chapter 43
Grandiosity 17: Don Quijote shows his hand to the innkeeper's daughter and speaks of it in reverential tones and awe.
Volume 1, Chapter 45
Grandiosity 18: Don Quijote tells the officers that they are lowborn, putrid garbage and cannot arrest him because he is outside the law (a law unto himself) because he is a knight errant.
Volume 1, Chapter 46
Grandiosity 19: Don Quijote is shoved into a crate like a lowly animal.
Volume 1, Chapter 47
Grandiosity 20: Don Quijote is confused that he is being transported in an ordinary oxcart rather than on a cloud or a chariot of fire.
Volume 1, Chapter 48
Grandiosity 21: Don Quijote begs Sancho to get him out of the crate that has become soiled with his own urine.
Volume 2, Chapter 1
Grandiosity 22: A madman (naked and caged) threatens to bring a three-year drought on the city of Seville for releasing a fellow patient at the asylum.
Volume 2, Chapter 3
Grandiosity 23: Sancho says that the governors he has seen cannot compare with himself.
Volume 2, Chapter 5
Grandiosity 24: Sancho calls his wife stupid, and that when he becomes governor he will marry their daughter to whomever he wishes no matter what Teresa says or wants.
Volume 2, Chapter 6
Grandiosity 25: Don Quijote tells his niece that there is nothing he cannot do if he decides he wants to.
Volume 2, Chapter 11
Grandiosity 26: Don Quijote, after blocking the road and demanding that a troupe of actors answer his questions, blesses them and gives them permission to go after they have obeyed his directive and pleased him by their answers.
Volume 2, Chapter 52
Grandiosity 27: Don Quijote believes that he has the right to give the Duke and Duchess permission to open Teresa's letter to Sancho.
Volume 2, Chapter 55
Grandiosity 28: Don Quijote judges that Sancho has been sent into this pit as punishment for his sins.
Volume 2, Chapter 58
Grandiosity 29: Don Quijote stands in the middle of a road ready to demand that anyone passing must agree with his opinion that the two ladies from the feast are the most beautiful in the world (with the exception of Dulcinea).
Volume 2, Chapter 60
Grandiosity 30: Don Quijote does not understand why he does not have the right to whip Sancho as he sees fit.
Volume 2, Chapter 64
Grandiosity 31: The fight with the Knight of the White Moon ends with Don Quijote being knocked off his high horse; which means he must return home to live as an average human being for a year. The Knight of the White Moon graciously gives his permission for Dulcinea's beauty to remain uncontested.
Volume 1, Chapter 1
Helmet Imagery 1: Don Quijote repairs his grandfather's helmet that is missing pieces.
Volume 1, Chapter 2
Helmet Imagery 2: On his first day as a knight errant, Don Quijote dons his makeshift helmet.
Helmet Imagery 3: The two prostitutes cannot untie the ribbons on his helmet and Don Quijote will not allow them to cut them. He eats with his helmet on.
Volume 1, Chapter 7
Helmet Imagery 4: Don Quijote patches up his helmet.
Volume 1, Chapter 9
Helmet Imagery 5: The Basque's blow removes most of Don Quijote's helmet.
Volume 1, Chapter 10
Helmet Imagery 6: Don Quijote spots his ruined helmet and throws a fit, vowing to revenge the man who ruined his helmet.
Volume 1, Chapter 19
Helmet Imagery 7: Sancho tells Don Quijote that he believes that their misadventures stem from his master's failure to fulfill his oath to get the helmet of Mambrino.
Volume 1, Chapter 21
Helmet Imagery 8: Don Quijote admits that it (the basin the traveling barber was wearing on his head in the rain) is not unlike a basin, but that it is still the helmet of Mambrino that has, at some point, been melted down and reshaped.
Volume 1, Chapter 22
Helmet Imagery 9: A guard tells Don Quijote to "straighten out the barber's basin on his head."
Helmet Imagery 10: Ginés de Pasamonte pulls the basin off Don Quijote's head and destroys it by beating Don Quijote with it and banging it on the ground.
Volume 1, Chapter 30
Helmet Imagery 11: Confronted with his mistake of releasing dangerous criminals, Don Quijote defends himself by angrily citing the rules of knight errantry and pulls his old helmet down over his face.
Volume 1, Chapter 44
Helmet Imagery 12: Don Quijote and Sancho maintain they won all items fairly from the barber and Sancho fetches the helmet.
Volume 1, Chapter 45
Helmet Imagery 13: The wronged barber, secure in the knowledge that he is in the right, asks those assembled around him if they believe his basin to be a basin.
Volume 1, Chapter 46
Helmet Imagery 14: The priest pays the barber for the basin and the barber gives him a receipt stating he will relinquish all claim to the basin for all eternity.
Volume 2, Chapter 7
Helmet Imagery 15: Don Quijote says he will not return to knight errantry unless he gets a helmet. Carrasco says he can give him one, but it is rusty.
Volume 2, Chapter 17
Helmet Imagery 16: Don Quijote, unaware that his squire has placed cottage cheese in his helmet, places it on his head and seeing the curds -- believes his brains are melting.
Volume 1, Chapter 1
Idealized Women 1: Don Quijote chooses Aldonza Lorenzo, a peasant girl from Toboso (to whom he has never spoken) to be his lady love. He renames her Dulcinea del Toboso and gives her the title "Mistress of His Thoughts."
Volume 1, Chapter 2
Idealized Women 2: Don Quijote talks to himself and complains about Dulcinea's rejection of him.
Idealized Women 3: Don Quijote refers to two prostitutes as "noble virgins."
Volume 1, Chapter 3
Idealized Women 4: Don Quijote prays to Dulcinea before hitting the muledriver over the head with his spear.
Volume 1, Chapter 4
Idealized Women 5: Astride Rocinante, Don Quijote stands in the middle of the road and demands that a group of travelers agree that Dulcinea is the most beautiful woman in the world.
Volume 1, Chapter 9
Idealized Women 6: Dulcinea is known as the best pork salter in all of La Mancha.
Volume 1, Chapter 12
Idealized Women 7: Marcela, a beautiful heiress turned shepherdess, has no interest in love or marriage and politely tells this to her aspiring lovers. They consider her cruel and ungrateful for not being what they would have her be.
Volume 1, Chapter 13
Idealized Women 8: Don Quijote speaks of Dulcinea (whom he has never spoken to) as his "sweet enemy" (pg. 70) and describes her great beauty and character.
Idealized Women 9: Ambrosio sees Marcela as the bane of all men's existence.
Volume 1, Chapter 14
Idealized Women 10: Marcela points out the unfairness of demanding she love someone who loves her just for her beauty. She doesn't flirt and has declared her desire to remain unmarried; if anyone doesn't believe her, it is their own fault.
Volume 1, Chapter 16
Idealized Women 11: Don Quijote, who has been fantasizing about the innkeeper's daughter coming to his bed that night, believes the ugly Maritornes to be her when she enters the room for her tryst with the muledriver.
Volume 1, Chapter 20
Idealized Women 12: Sancho regales Don Quijote with a tale about a stocky, mannish woman who carries pimple medicine in her knapsack.
Volume 1, Chapter 22
Idealized Women 13: Don Quijote sees prostitution as a necessary public service that should be legalized and managed by the government.
Volume 1, Chapter 25
Idealized Women 14: Sancho learns that Dulcinea's real name is Aldonza Lorenzo. He knows her and describes her as strong, well built, funny and down-to-earth; but he doesn't know what she would want with the presents Don Quijote has been sending her. Don Quijote says that for what he wants of her she is equal to the best princess. He also admits that Dulcinea is part invention.
Volume 1, Chapter 28
Idealized Women 15: Dorotea, who does not serve as anyone's idealized woman, marries one man in a secret ceremony to avoid being raped (she knew he was not going to take no as an answer); throws another man off a cliff to avoid being raped; runs away from a third who looked likely to attempt rape in her unprotected state.
Volume 1, Chapter 33
Idealized Women 16: Anselmo doubts his wife, Camila's character and virtue since she has never been tempted. He cannot value her completely unless he sees her pass such a test.
Volume 1, Chapter 36
Idealized Women 17: Dorotea, through her goodness and wisdom, makes a bad man (Don Fernando) good.
Volume 1, Chapter 41
Idealized Women 18: Another female character appears. Zoraida is the epitome of idealized beauty and one smart cookie too.
Volume 1, Chapter 46
Idealized Women 19: Sancho tells Don Quijote that he does not believe Dorotea to be a real princess but a whore since he saw her kissing Don Fernando behind the outhouse.
Volume 1, Chapter 50
Idealized Women 20: The shepherd and cathedral priest excuse a she-goats behavior on the basis of her sex; that all females are fickle and cannot control their natural instinct.s
Volume 1, Chapter 51
Idealized Women 21: Eugenio, (the shepherd), tells of another gorgeous beautiful maiden named Leandra who spurned him for a returning soldier, who leaves her in her underwear in a cave. She claims to still be a virgin but enters a convent temporarily while many men wail for her about the countryside.
Volume 1, Chapter 52
Idealized Women 22: A parade of penitents carry a statue of the Virgin Mary -- possibly the ultimate idealized woman of all time.
Volume 2, Chapter 8
Idealized Women 23: Don Quijote says that the sight of Dulcinea will give him wisdom and courage.
Volume 2, Chapter 9
Idealized Women 24: Don Quijote admits that he has never seen Dulcinea.
Volume 2, Chapter 10
Idealized Women 25: Don Quijote complains that the evil magicians have even stolen Dulcinea's lovely scent and replaced it with garlic.
Volume 2, Chapter 13
Idealized Women 26: After Sancho describes his daughter as comely, tall and strong, the Knight of the Wood's squire says that she sounds like a wood nymph and refers to her as a slut and female dog.
Volume 2, Chapter 22
Idealized Women 27: Don Quijote comments on how it is easier to keep a good woman good than make a bad woman good. Sancho bitterly complains that Teresa (his wife) is not nearly as good as he wishes her to be.
Volume 2, Chapter 32
Idealized Women 28: The Duke, Duchess and Don Quijote discuss the lovely, ugly, enchanted, real, imagined, noble, common -- take your pick! -- person or persona of Dulcinea del Toboso.
Volume 2, Chapter 44
Idealized Women 29: Don Quijote feels that Emerencia and Altisidora are persecuting Dulcinea by threatening her hold on the prize she has won -- Don Quijote!
Volume 2, Chapter 59
Idealized Women 30: Two gentlemen at an Inn ask Don Quijote if Dulcinea is still a virgin or has she had a child. Don Quijote informs them that she is still a virgin.
Volume 2, Chapter 64
Idealized Women 31: Don Quijote would rather die than say some other woman is more beautiful than Dulcinea.
Volume 2, Chapter 70
Idealized Women 32: Don Quijote hides under his bed covers from the very real, very angry Altisidora.
Idealized Women 33: Don Quijote advises the Duke and Duchess to keep Altisidora busy so that she will not have time for "conjuring up images of anyone she thinks she loves..." (pg. 729).
Volume 1, Prologue
Metafiction 1: Cervante's friend advises him on how to make the book Don Quijote look like other tales of chivalry.
Volume 1, Chapter 6
Metafiction 2: During the inquisition of Don Quijote's books, they come upon Galatea by Cervantes and deem it worthy of existence.
Volume 1, Chapter 9
Metafiction 3: The narrator finds another source. At a marketplace in Toledo he finds an old notebook entitled History of Don Quijote de La Mancha, written by Sidi Hamid Benengeli.
Volume 1, Chapter 28
Metafiction 4: The narrator tries to hard sell the readers into liking the additional tales and digressions he has added.
Volume 1, Chapter 47
Metafiction 5: The innkeeper gives the priest another short story from the trunk entitled "Rinconete and Cortadillo." (Although, it is not mentioned in the book, this is another story by Cervantes.)
Metafiction 6: The cathedral priest points out that these books of chivalry don't even attempt to follow their own plot lines, let alone any rules of fiction writing. The priest points out that the genre has potential as its form easily lends itself to fiction.
Volume 1, Chapter 52
Metafiction 7: The author states that although he currently has no information on Don Quijote's third foray into the world as a knight errant; some documents have been found that have been given to a professor to decipher who plans to release his findings very soon.
Volume 2, Prologue
Metafiction 8: Cervantes compares Avellaneda's attempt at making a book (pseudonym of author of ersatz Volume Two) to that of a lunatic who blew up dogs by inserting a musical pipe into their anuses.
Volume 2, Chapter 2
Metafiction 9: Sancho tells Don Quijote the news; that the story of the adventures has been published.
Volume 2, Chapter 3
Metafiction 10: Carrasco criticizes the inclusion of the short story "The Story of the Man Who Couldn't Keep from Prying" in Sidi Hamid's book.
Volume 2, Chapter 4
Metafiction 11: Sancho explains that the confusion over the donkey was the historian's or printer's fault.
Volume 2, Chapter 24
Metafiction 12: The translator mentions that Sidi Hamid had doubts about the veracity of the Montesino Cave experience Don Quijote claimed to have had. Rumor has it that he confessed to making it up while on his deathbed.
Volume 2, Chapter 44
Metafiction 13: Sidi Hamid writes that he will not include additional stories in this second volume due to readers' complaints.
Volume 2, Chapter 59
Metafiction 14: Don Quijote points out Avellaneda's bad judgment in bad-mouthing Cervantes.
Metafiction 15: Don Quijote finds out that Avellaneda lied and wrote that Don Quijote had already competed at the tournaments at Zaragoza. He and Sancho go to Barcelona instead to prove this author is a liar.
Volume 2, Chapter 61
Metafiction 16: Uniformed riders welcome Don Quijote into Barcelona and specify that they are welcoming only Don Quijote of Volume One -- not the ersatz Don Quijote of the second volume.
Volume 2, Chapter 62
Metafiction 17: Don Quijote enters a print shop and finds them proofreading Avellaneda's Volume Two and expresses surprise that it is still in print -- he heard they'd all been burned!
Volume 2, Chapter 70
Metafiction 18: Altisidora says that she only reached the gates of hell. She saw devils playing racquetball with books puffed up like balls with hot air and garbage. One of the devils recognized the ersatz second volume to Don Quijote and told the other devil to throw it down to the deepest pit of Hell so he'd never have to see it again!
Volume 2, Chapter 74
Metafiction 19: Sidi Hamid insults Avellaneda and warns him to let his Don Quijote rest in peace. Sidi Hamid says he is happy and at peace now since he has shown people how ridiculous the books of chivalry are.
Volume 1, Chapter 4
Scapegoat 1: A traveler (whom Don Quijote had challenged) insinuates that Dulcinea could be ugly; Don Quijote quickly charges brandishing his lance but Rocinante stumbles and throws him. A muledriver (from the same party) breads Don Quijote's lance and thrashes him. Don Quijote blames Rocinante for his first defeat.
Volume 1, Chapter 5
Scapegoat 2: The housekeeper and niece blame the knight errantry books for Don Quijote's madness.
Volume 1, Chapter 6
Scapegoat 3: The housekeeper and niece want Don Quijote's entire library of books to be burned; believing they are all equally guilty.
Scapegoat 4: The niece wants to burn the romantic tales of shepherding since these could make Don Quijote pursue the romance of the shepherd's life.
Volume 1, Chapter 10
Scapegoat 5: Don Quijote spots his ruined helmet and throws a fit, vowing to avenge the man who ruined his helmet.
Volume 1, Chapter 13
Scapegoat 6: Ambrosio sees Marcela as the bane of all men's existence.
Volume 1, Chapter 14
Scapegoat 7: Marcela refuses to accept the blame for Grisóstomo's death.
Volume 1, Chapter 19
Scapegoat 8: Sancho blames Don Quijote for not fulfilling his oath to get the helmet of Mambrino as the cause of all their misadventures. Don Quijote blames Sancho for not reminding him.
Scapegoat 9: Don Quijote tells the priest (Alonzo Lopez) that it is his own fault that Don Quijote injured him since he traveled at night in such a suspicious manner.
Volume 1, Chapter 24
Scapegoat 10: Cardenio has a violent fit. Sancho blames the goatherd for not warning them of Cardenio's violent temper (the goatherd had).
Volume 1, Chapter 34
Scapegoat 11: Camilla worries that perhaps something she said or did caused Lothario to treat her as an unfaithful harlot.
Volume 1, Chapter 35
Scapegoat 12: Anselmo accepts responsibility for his own death and Camilla's unfaithfulness.
Volume 1, Chapter 41
Scapegoat 13: The French blame the captive; explaining they wouldn't have fired upon them if they had just answered their question.
Volume 1, Chapter 51
Scapegoat 14: Eugenio admits to relieving his stress by criticizing females in general and specifically this she-goat.
Volume 2, Chapter 2
Scapegoat 15: The housekeeper and niece blame Sancho for influencing Don Quijote to go out on these adventures.
Volume 2, Chapter 4
Scapegoat 16: Sancho blames the historian and/or printer for the confusion about his donkey in Volume 1.
Volume 2, Chapter 17
Scapegoat 17: Sancho blames enchanters for the cottage cheese in Don Quijote's helmet.
Volume 2, Chapter 26
Scapegoat 18: Don Quijote blames the enchanters that persecute him as the reason he chopped the heads off the puppets.
Volume 2, Chapter 33
Scapegoat 19: The Duchess says a magician planted a false idea in Sancho's head -- the idea that Sancho fooled his master about the homely girl on the horse; for she has found out that was the enchanted Dulcinea. They both agree that this makes more sense than Sancho being the kind of squire that tricks his master.
Volume 2, Chapter 35
Scapegoat 20: Merlin says that Sancho must whip his bare buttocks 3,300 times to free Dulcinea from her enchantment.
Volume 2, Chapter 66
Scapegoat 21: Sancho says that Don Quijote should blame himself instead of venting his anger on his armor, Rocinante or Sancho.
Volume 2, Chapter 69
Scapegoat 22: Sancho, after allowing himself to be pinched and slapped to bring Altisidora back to life, is requested by Don Quijote to whip himself now while he is so full of power. Sancho suggests that they should just drown him and solve everyone's problems -- since he is the scapegoat!
After addressing the reader, Cervantes tells of how difficult he found it to write this prologue and spoke of his concerns to a friend. He claims to be worried about several things lacking in his book; famous ancient quotes, sonnets by noblemen or celebrated poets, annotations, and footnotes that he sees in other published books of tales of chivalry. He confesses:
"I'm a loafer by nature, I'm too lazy to go hunting for authors who say what I already know how to say without their help." Volume 1, Prologue, pg. 8
His friend is shocked by Cervantes lack of sense and says that there is an obvious solution. He advises him to simply write some sonnets himself and credit them to any name he chooses, insert some familiar Latin quotes, adding the usual citations in the margins, add a few things here and there that lend themselves easily to annotation -- and quick as a wink -- the book will look as all the others and Cervantes may even come out of it looking like a scholar. On the other hand, his friend points out that, this book doesn't really require any of these extras since the book itself is an attack on these silly romantic tales of chivalry. It would serve the readers better to just write clearly and well.
Topic Tracking: Metafiction 1
Cervantes sees the good sense of his friend's advice and agrees with it. He then praises and claims that Don Quijote is the bravest, purest, chastest knight errant seen in many a year and that Cervantes has done the reader a great favor by writing this book. Also, that he is deserving of gratitude for making known to readers Sancho Panza, squire extraordinaire, who embodies the virtues of every squire ever mentioned in every worthless book about chivalry ever printed.
Don Quijote lived in a village in La Mancha with a housekeeper, a niece, and a boy who helped on his estate. His true family name was probably Quejana. Nearly 50 years old, he was strong and thin with a gaunt, pointed face. Always an avid hunter, he had also become an avid reader of novels about knight errantry; even going so far as to sell rich productive farm land to buy these books. He loved the rich prose of Feliciano de Silva, relishing passages like the one below:
"The ability to reason the un-reason which has afflicted by reason saps my ability to reason, so that I complain with good reason of your infinite loveliness." Volume 1, Chapter 1, pg. 13
He would reflect on these intricate passages at night, trying to understand the deep meaning hidden in them, "which even Aristotle couldn't have comprehended if he'd come back to life just for that purpose." Volume 1, Chapter 1, pg. 14
Eventually, reading these books all day and all night, he lost his grip on reality and came to believe that these stories were historical fact. He would argue with the village priest, Señor Pero Perez, (who had a degree from a local university), and with the village barber, Master Nicolas, over which of these fictional characters was the better knight.
At last, Don Quijote decides to seek honor and glory and fulfill his duty (to right wrongs), and become an actual knight errant. He cleans his great grandfather's suit of armor, and repairs the helmet as best he can (it's missing pieces). He gives his old, skinny, scarred horse the name Rocinante (which translates to rocin: old horse, ante: before), which he feels befits the horse's new station in life -- the steed of a famous knight. He then renames himself Don Quijote (quijote: thigh armor) of La Mancha, modeling his name after one of the knight errants in chivalric tale, Amadís of Gaul, (who had taken part of his name from the region he came from). Since all the knight errants in these books have a lady they love and serve; he selects Aldonza Lorenzo, an attractive peasant girl from the nearby village of Toboso, (whom he has never spoken to), to be his lady love. He bestows on her the title "Mistress of His Thoughts" (pg. 16) and renames her Dulcinea del Toboso.
Topic Tracking: Helmet Imagery 1
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 1
Eager to fight injustice, Don Quijote sets out before dawn one day in July. Riding out on Rocinante, with his make-shift helmet on and shield and spear in place, he feels wonderful until he realizes that he is not officially a knight and can not enter into armed combat with anyone until properly dubbed. He decides to have the first knight he meets dub him -- just like in the books. With his horse leading the way, he begins fantasizing about how his adventures will be depicted in some future book on knight errantry. Continuing these absurdities aloud, he speaks to the absent Dulcinea of her cruelty in rejecting him and commanding him to stay away from her.
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 1
Topic Tracking: Helmet Imagery 2
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 2
And so he continues to work out the plot of his mad fantasy all that hot day. That night he comes upon an inn, which his madness turns into a castle -- complete with all a castle's trappings. Two prostitutes outside become gracious ladies (whom he refers to as "noble virgins" (pg. 19)) making them laugh and angering Don Quijote. A pig herder's horn blowing becomes a dwarf announcing his arrival and the innkeeper a castle warden.
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 3
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 2
After entering the inn, the two ladies help him out of his armor; but can not remove the helmet and neck guard since they can not get the ribbons untied (that hold it together). Don Quijote will not allow the ribbons to be cut. Since he needs two hands to lift the visor to eat, the ladies feed him and the innkeeper pours wine through a reed stem inserted into Don Quijote's mouth. During it all, he maintains the delusion that he was dining sumptuously at a castle, and when the pig castrator announces his arrival at the inn by blowing on a reed whistle -- the fantasy is complete -- as he imagines that he is dining with musical instruments playing in the background. His only thought of discontent is that he is not yet a properly dubbed knight.
Topic Tracking: Helmet Imagery 3
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 3
He asks the innkeeper for private meeting in the stable. On bended knees, he begs him -- in the exaggerated speech he has learned from the books on chivalry -- to dub him a knight. The innkeeper now knew, without a doubt, that his guest is not playing with a full deck and he decides to have some fun and play along. He tells Don Quijote that he, too, had been a knight errant in his youth and had traveled widely to various places such as the Fish Market at Malaga, the Olive Warehouse in Valencia, the Bandstand in Granada, the horse track in Cordoba and the bars of Toledo. He asks him if he is carrying any money and Don Quijote tells him no, for the knight errants in the books never did. The innkeeper informs him that these knights carried lots of money with them, as well as clean shirts and other necessary things; it was just that the authors of these books didn't feel it necessary to write of these mundane matters.
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 4
Everyone at the inn learns of Don Quijote's madness and watches him hold a vigil over his armor in the courtyard (a requirement before being dubbed). A mule-driver, needing to water his team, picks up Don Quijote's armor from the trough; whereby, Don Quijote instructs him to only touch his armor if he is willing to die. The muledriver then flings the armor across the courtyard. Don Quijote, (after speaking to the Dulcinea of his mind as one might to a saint), takes his spear and smacks the muledriver over the head with it, knocking him unconscious, and then proceeds to calmly continue his vigil. Another muledriver, (unaware of the other's fate), tries to water his animals and receives a noisier blow that brings everyone running outside to see what has happened. The men's friends pelt Don Quijote with stones until, either the innkeeper's warnings that they are dealing with a dangerous crazy man or Don Quijote's bold ferocious threats, scare them away, dragging away their wounded.
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 5
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 4
The innkeeper decides it is time to cut these games short and tells Don Quijote that since the required vigil is only two hours, he could dub him right now and then conducts a mock ceremony.
Taking the innkeeper's advice, Don Quijote sets out for home in order get money, other supplies and a squire. He soon hears a weak voice moaning from the woods and thanks God for this opportunity to fulfill the oath he has taken. He soon finds the source. It is a fifteen year old boy, tied to a tree, being whipped by a man on his bare back with a leather strap. Don Quijote, seeing a cattle prod against a tree and a horse, loses no time challenging the man (whom he sees as a knight) to combat and calling him a coward.
The man, upon seeing a knight rigged out in full armor sticking a lance in his face, fears for his life. He explains to Don Quijote that the boy had been very careless watching his sheep -- losing one every day -- and had accused his master of withholding his pay out of stinginess. Don Quijote makes the man untie the boy and then demands that he pay him his wages. The man explains that he has no money with him; but if the boy would go back to the house with him, he would do so. The boy says the man will hurt him again if he goes anywhere with him; but, Don Quijote assures him that the man has to obey the laws of knighthood and will do no such thing. Also, Don Quijote promises to return and punish this man if he further harms or cheats him. Despite the boy's protestations that this man is no knight -- honorable or otherwise -- Don Quijote leaves them, feeling well satisfied that the man will carry out his orders and that he had just satisfactorily righted a wrong. But after he leaves, the man grabs the boy, reties him to the tree and whips him to within an inch of his life before untying him.
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 6
After traveling a couple of miles, Don Quijote spies a group of people traveling (merchants and their servants from Toledo), and sets about creating another adventure for himself (just like in the books). Sitting astride Rocinante, he trots out to the middle of the road and boldly issues his challenge:
"Let everyone in the world halt, unless the entire world acknowledges that nowhere on earth is there a damsel more beautiful than the Empress of La Mancha, she who has no equal, Dulcinea Del Toboso." Volume 1, Chapter 4, pg. 29
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 7
Topic Tracking: Idealized Woman 5
The merchants quickly realize that the man before them is nuts and one man asks to see some proof of this claim in the form of a portrait. Then, they will gladly agree to her superior beauty even if she is missing one eye and ghastly secretions run from the other. This insinuation, that Dulcinea might be ugly, so angers Don Quijote that he charges at the man with his lance and would have done him great harm if not for Rocinante stumbling, falling and throwing Don Quijote down on the road. The rest of the troop are content to leave him there ranting and raving while he unsuccessfully tries to get back on his feet (his old heavy armor and weapons are weighing him down). But one mean muledriver breaks his lance and thoroughly thrashes Don Quijote with these broken pieces. During all this, our hero continues to insult and threaten the departing party. After the muledriver leaves, he tries again to get up on his feet, but can not. Nevertheless, he feels okay about all that has just transpired since it is something that could happen to a knight errant and is all Rocinante's fault.
Topic Tracking: Scapegoat 1
As he lies on the ground unable to move, Don Quijote tries to remember a similar situation in one of the many books of chivalry he has read. He soon remembers one where someone named Valdovinos lies wounded up on a mountain and his uncle the Marqués of Mantua finds him. As he is reciting the ballad, a farmer from his own village shows up and Don Quijote believes himself to be Valdovinos and his neighbor, the Marqués. The farmer recognizes him, calling him Mr. Quijana and helps him up. While they are returning home, Don Quijote babbles endlessly and changes the story he is in -- in midstream. The farmer, realizing his neighbor is currently out of his mind, tries to introduce some reality into the midst of these ravings by telling Don Quijote that he is Mr. Quijana and his own name is Pedro Alonso. Don Quijote tells him that not only can he be the people he has just mentioned; but he could also be the Twelve Peers of France or the Nine Worthies since his heroic deeds surpass all of theirs!
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 8
Meanwhile, the housekeeper and niece are talking to the village priest and the barber about Don Quijote's disappearance, his previous strange behaviors and his dream of becoming a knight errant. They feel that the books are to blame for unhinging his previously sound mind.
Topic Tracking: Scapegoat 2
As they are making plans to burn the books, Don Quijote arrives with the farmer, and he instructs them to open the door for the four people arriving: Sir Valdovinos, Marqués of Mantua, the Moor Abindarraez, and Rodrigo of Narvaez. They rush to greet him and quickly get Don Quijote into bed while he tells them of the giants that he fought.
While Don Quijote sleeps, the priest, barber, niece and the housekeeper go into his library to carry out an inquisition on all his books (which numbered over a hundred). Upon seeing all the books the housekeeper runs to fetch holy water for the priest so that he can bless the room so that the enchanters in the books can not take revenge against them for burning the books.
Laughing at the housekeeper's superstitions, the priest tells the barber to hand him a book at a time; because, they might find some that do not deserve burning. The niece and the housekeeper feel that none should be saved; that they all share in the guilt of corrupting her uncle's mind. The Four Books of Amadís of Gaul is pardoned and granted its life due to its being the best book of chivalry written. Another book, Knighthood's Mirror, which contains stories about Reinaldos de Montalban, the Twelve Peers of France and Archbishop Turpin is set aside. Sorting through the books, they decide which ones are treasures, which deserve respect, which deserve mercy, which deserve a fiery death and even one that deserves a laxative.
Topic Tracking: Scapegoat 3
Next, they find volumes of poetry many of which romanticize pastoral themes and shepherding. The priest feels these aren't deserving of burning because they are not as dangerous. The niece disagrees, explaining that her uncle could easily become obsessed with living out the fantasies in these books.
Topic Tracking: Scapegoat 4
They critique and judge these books. They come upon Galatea by Miguel de Cervantes. They deem this book worthy of existence and the priest claims he is a friend.
Topic Tracking: Metafiction 2
Growing tired, they decide to burn large numbers of books without inspecting them -- despite their discovery of several good books among those destined for the fire.
Don Quijote awakes yelling; calls the priest Archbishop Turpin, and makes references to the Twelve Peers, then identifies himself as Reinaldos de Montalban. That night the housekeeper burns all the books in the yard and any left in the room. They wall over the entrance to the library. The priest and barber instruct the housekeeper and niece to tell Don Quijote that a magician has carried away not only the books, but the room itself. The first thing Don Quijote does when he gets up (two days later) is set out for his library. He searches all over the house for the missing room and finally asks the housekeeper where it is. She and the niece tell him that a magician riding a snake said he was angry with the owner of the books, and took the books and library away in a puff of smoke. Don Quijote believes every word and even corrects them on the name of the magician.
For fifteen days, Don Quijote gives no indication to his niece, housekeeper, priest or barber that he has any immediate plans to resume his calling of knight errantry. However, as it turns out, he has been very busy arranging for a squire, pawning and selling things to get money, borrowing a shield and patching up his helmet. He finally convinces Sancho Panza (a poor farmer with a wife and children) to be his squire by promising him things like governorship of an island and generally wearing him down till the poor man gives in.
Topic Tracking: Helmet Imagery 4
They leave one night unseen. Sancho speaks of his future island and has some concerns regarding his wife's suitability for such a position; Don Quijote instructs him not to worry; to leave it all in God's hands, but to retain his ambitions to be a governor. Sancho says that he won't worry since he has such a wise master who knows his squire's capabilities and what is best for him.
They immediately come upon thirty to forty windmills that appear as giants to Don Quijote. He tells Sancho that he is going to kill them all; keeping their treasures for themselves and doing God a favor by removing their evil from the earth. Sancho tries to convince his master that these are windmills, but to no avail as Don Quijote charges at them amidst Sancho's screaming. Suddenly, a windmill that had been still, is put in motion by a strong gust of wind. One if its sails breaks Don Quijote's spear, then lifts and drops both him and Rocinante to the ground. Sancho runs over and says he warned him they were windmills. Don Quijote has a better theory: that Freston the magician (who stole the library and books) changed the giants into windmills in order to frustrate Don Quijote.
After they remount their horse and donkey, the two begin another of their incredible conversations. Sancho says he believes Don Quijote's version of the windmill incident. Don Quijote explains that he cannot complain of the pain in his half-dislocated shoulder since knight errants never complain. Sancho says he hopes that this rule does not apply to their squires; since, he himself groans at even the slightest pain. Don Quijote, cheered by his squire's honest simplicity, laughs and reassures him that the rule does not apply to squires and gives him permission to complain.
After a night's rest, he gives Sancho further instructions on his squirely duties. He explains that Sancho is never to draw his sword against a knight in any efforts to aid his master, (since he is not one himself thereby making it illegal). However, he may defend Don Quijote against commoners. Sancho explains that he is a peace-loving man, but will defend himself against anyone trying to injure himself, be they knight or otherwise.
A pair of Benedictine friars riding on mules and wearing dust-goggles, (as well-off travelers at this time did), appear ahead on the road. Following them, but not traveling with them, is a coach surrounded by several people on mules, and two muledrivers on foot. With their dark robes and masked faces, Don Quijote's madness transforms them into devils abducting a princess and he demands that they release her. As they protest their innocence, he loses his patience and using his new lance (fashioned from a tree branch and his old spearhead) rushes at them. One gallops away, while the other drops off his horse, just escaping serious injury. Sancho begins removing the friars' frocks, explaining to the muledrivers that the frocks are the prizes from the battle. They beat up Sancho and help up the friar who quickly leaves.
Don Quijote introduces himself to the lady in the coach and asks that she return to Toboso, present herself to Doña Dulcinea and tell her of his deed. One of the horsed pages, a Basque, told him to get lost or he will kill him. They proceed to battle like mortal enemies; the page using a cushion as a shield. The chapter ends with the narrator explaining that the original author did not know how this all ended but promises to try to find out.
The narrator manages to find another source. While at a marketplace in Toledo, he comes upon an old notebook written in Arabic and finds someone to translate it for him. They read a passage that refers to a Dulcinea from Toboso as being the best salter of pork in all of La Mancha!
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 6
The book's title was History of Don Quijote of La Mancha, written by Sidi Hamid Benengeli, Arab Historian.
Topic Tracking: Metafiction 3
And so we are now able to find out how the battle ended. Don Quijote, after receiving a blow that removes most of his helmet and half of his ear, strikes a blow to the Basque's head that leaves him unable to continue to fight. The ladies in the coach beg Don Quijote to show mercy and not finish him off; he agrees on the condition that the Basque present himself to Dulcinea. They promise quickly.
Topic Tracking: Helmet Imagery 5
Following the fight, Sancho asks for his island (that Don Quijote had promised him). Don Quijote informs him that they have not all adventures are island winning adventures that some are merely cracked head and missing ear adventures.
Don Quijote asks Sancho if he has ever read of a knight any braver than Don Quijote. Sancho admits being illiterate, but says he has never worked for anyone as bold. He then asks to bandage Don Quijote's ear that continues to bleed profusely. Don Quijote tells him that if only they had some Saracen Fierabra's balm, (legendary embalming fluid used for Jesus), which he has the recipe for, they wouldn't need any bandages. While he continues to bleed, he gives Sancho instructions on how to apply this balm to future wounds. He tells Sancho that even if he finds him cut in half, Sancho need only place one half upon the other, administer a few drops of the balm and Don Quijote will be good as new.
Sancho, who knows a good deal when he hears one, asks if he can have this recipe instead of the island. Don Quijote addresses Sancho as friend and promises him greater rewards than even these. Since they have no balm now, Sancho gathers the bandages and medicine from his saddlebag. Don Quijote spots his ruined helmet and throws a fit, vowing to avenge the man who ruined his helmet. Sancho reminds him that if the Basque presents himself to Dulcinea, he is no longer indebted to Don Quijote. Don Quijote commends Sancho for his wisdom and instead pledges to win in battle another helmet of equal quality, as in the case of Mambrino's helmet. (Mambrino is a king in the book Orlando Innamorato by Boiardo.) Later, in their search for somewhere to spend the night, they come upon some goatherd's huts.
Topic Tracking: Helmet Imagery 6
Topic Tracking: Scapegoat 5
The goatherds turn out to be very hospitable and are happy to have guests. Before sitting down on their sheepskins to eat, they provide Don Quijote with a superior seat -- an overturned feeding trough -- to honor him. Seeing Sancho standing, as cup bearer, Don Quijote takes it into his head to honor Sancho by having him sit next to him and share his plate and cup as an equal. Sancho, who wants no part of this, thanks him but says he'd rather eat separately and be free to sneeze or cough or do other things that require privacy and asks Don Quijote to instead choose an honor that Sancho would enjoy. But he insists and forces Sancho to sit next to him, explaining that God will exalt him for humbling himself (by sitting next to a mere squire).
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 9
Although, the goatherds can make no sense out of this nonsense, nor Don Quijote's monologue on the charms of the Golden age that followed, they did find their strange visitor fascinating just the same. One of the goatherds, hearing Don Quijote complain to Sancho that his ear was hurting, prepares and applies an herb poultice to it that he promises will heal it and it does.
Bedtime is detained by the arrival of a youngster named Pedro with news from the village. Grisóstomo, a student turned shepherd, has died of a broken heart because of his unrequited love for Marcela. His friend, Ambrosio, carrying out Grisóstomo's funeral wishes to the letter. It is to be a big to-do and everyone is making plans to go.
Don Quijote asks Pedro for more details about Grisóstomo and Marcela. Pedro tells him. Marcela grew up very sheltered and was kept out of the public's eye due to her great beauty. She had many suitors from near and far but would never consent to marry any of them. Suddenly, she decides to spend her time as a shepherdess caring for her own flocks and now everyone can see her. Grisóstomo was one of many men who began to shepherd so they could be near her and try to win her heart. She is courteous and kind but honest (Pedro describes her as scornful) when anyone approaches her concerning love and marriage. Her aspiring lovers eventually consider her cruel and ungrateful, yet still suffer for want of her.
Topic Tracking: Idealized Woman 7
On the way to the funeral the next morning Don Quijote meets up with a man, named Vivaldo, who is traveling through the area and has detained his departure just to attend this extraordinary funeral. Vivaldo asks Don Quijote why he is riding fully armed and armored through such a peaceful countryside. He explains he is a knight errant.
Vivaldo quickly deduces that Don Quijote is not playing with a full deck, but continues to converse and question him; curious as to the extent of his delusion. He commends Don Quijote on his choice of such an austere, noble profession but admits that he has always found it wrong and sinful that knight errants always pray in a pagan way to some lady love -- rather than God -- when they are about to meet a perilous situation. Don Quijote explains that any knight errant who did not ask for a lady love's favor and protection would be subject to criticism. Vivaldo asks who is Don Quijote's lady. Referring to her as "sweet enemy" (pg. 70), he tells of his Dulcinea and describes her great beauty in glowing metaphor.
Topic Tracking: Idealized Woman 8
Twenty or so shepherds; wearing black sheepskin jackets and garland crowns of yew and cypress, appear carrying Grisóstomo's funeral bier. Even dead, Grisóstomo's good looks and charm are apparent. As they lay the bier in the dead man's requested burial site, his friend Ambrosio explains that it was here that Grisóstomo first spotted Marcela -- deadly enemy of all humanity!
He goes on the speak of the deceased as the epitome of perfection, while constantly alluding to Marcela as the bane of all men's existence and the cause of his friend's untimely death. He announces Grisóstomo's wish to have his writings about her burned.
Topic Tracking: Scapegoat 6
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 9
Vivaldo argues against burning the dead man's writings and retrieves a few from the pile that he is allowed to keep. He comes across Song of Despair (Grisóstomo's last poem) and is asked to read it as they dig the grave.
Sitting in a circle, everyone listens to this poem. Everyone feels that the poem was beautiful, but Vivaldo pointed out that the poem was unfair to Marcela's reputation of modesty and virtue. Ambrosio admits that Grisóstomo's imagination and jealousy had painted an unfair picture of Marcela and though she was cold and mocking, they must admit her virtue.
Then Marcela appears, even more beautiful than her reputation; Ambrosio accuses her of coming to gloat. She explains that she has come to defend herself, and the accusations made against her. She points out the unfairness of demanding she love anyone who loves her for her beauty; if she was ugly, would she have the right to complain if they did not love her?
Continuing on the theme of "don't hate me because I am beautiful"; she further defends herself by pointing out that she doesn't flirt or lead anyone on, and honestly declares her desires to remain unmarried and live in the manner she chooses. If anyone stubbornly refuses to accept this, it is their own fault:
"Those who have been told the truth should not be taken for those who have been scorned." Volume 1, Chapter 14, pg. 78
After she finished speaking, she left. Some heard the truth of what she said, some did not. Don Quijote declared her wise and innocent of the dead man's death and with his hand on his sword instructed that no one should follow her; but instead honor her wish to be left alone with the shepherdesses and her flock. However, after the ceremony, he decides to search for her to offer his assistance.
Topic Tracking: Scapegoat 7
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 10
And so, Don Quijote, ignoring his own fine advice, and Sancho follow the path that Marcela had taken into the woods. Unable to find her after two hours and coming upon a spot with thick green grass for the donkey and Rocinante to graze upon, they decide to have an afternoon nap. The old horse and donkey are allowed to graze freely -- due to their usual lack of inclination to roam or seek amorous adventure.
But on this afternoon, the old horse must have been feeling his oats, because, when a group of over 20 muledrivers from Yanguas, with a herd of Galician ponies decide to have an afternoon siesta (not far from Don Quijote and Sancho), Rocinante decides to go pay a call. The female ponies, who had not eaten of the fresh grass yet, found the horse's intentions irritating and go on to bite and kick him so hard that it knocks off his saddle and everything else on him. The muledrivers too become enraged and before Don Quijote and Sancho can get there, beat Rocinante with their short heavy clubs till he lay bleeding on the ground.
Quickly dismissing Sancho's advice that revenge would be unwise (since they were severely outnumbered), Don Quijote quickly attacks the muledrivers with his sword, while Sancho follows his lead using his pig sticker. The muledrivers, with their cudgels, make short work of the pair and Don Quijote and his faithful squire soon joined Rocinante on the ground. Realizing how badly they have injured the three; the muledrivers and their ponies beat a hasty retreat.
After they regain consciousness, Sancho asks his master for some "Folly Blas Balm" -- Saracen Fierabra's Balm. Unfortunately, Don Quijote has not yet made up a batch. He does, however, claim responsibility for their current predicament believing that the god of battles let him lose because he raised his sword against commoners -- which, as a knight, he is not allowed to do. The idea that it was because there were twenty or more men against two escapes him. He and his squire go on to have another of their celebrated conversations. Don Quijote, (to help Sancho put their injuries in perspective), says there are worse things that could happen to a knight: one example being what happened to the Knight of Phoebus, who was tied up and given an ice-water and sand enema. Finally, amidst much moaning and cursing from all three, the knight, squire and horse finally get off the ground and manage to make their way to an inn (which Don Quijote thinks is a castle).
Sancho tells the innkeeper, who can see that Don Quijote lies injured on the donkey's back, that he had fallen off a high rock. His sympathetic wife quickly begins to tend to Don Quijote, with the help of her comely daughter and an extremely homely servant girl named Maritornes.
He and Sancho are taken to an attic that has a good view of the stars (through its roof) and given poor beds. As Don Quijote's injuries are tended to and plastered, Sancho informs them that Don Quijote is one of the best knights in the world. Don Quijote, (overhearing the conversation), adds his two cents. Although it would be degrading for him to blow his own horn, she is a very lucky woman to have him as her guest and he will remember her always with gratitude.
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 10
Now they happen to be sharing the attic with a very successful muledriver to whom Maritornes has promised to visit after everyone is asleep. Sleep eludes Don Quijote (because of his aches and pains) and he passes the time exchanging reality for fantasy and imagines that the innkeeper's daughter, (to him -- the lord of castle's daughter), has fallen in love with him. And, that she means to come to his bed that night and try to compromise his virtue (remember, he is sworn to Dulcinea)! When the more than homely Maritornes enters the room, he transforms her into the beautiful daughter and captures her in his bed and speaks sweet idiocies to her:
"And the good gentleman was so far gone in his fantasy that neither the touch, the smell, nor anything else about the good damsel -- which would have made anyone but a muledriver vomit -- disillusioned him in the slightest." Volume 1, Chapter 16, pg. 89
The muledriver, not having a weak stomach and angry that his amorous evening is being stolen, punches Don Quijote and then stomps upon the whole length of Don Quijote's body. The bed crashes, the innkeeper comes up to the attic ready to beat Maritornes (whom he suspects is at the root of this whole affair). She quickly hides under the covers on top of a sleeping Sancho. Sancho mistakes her for a nightmare and begins to hit her. She hits him right back and once the muledriver and the innkeeper enter the fray -- it's a free-for-all. A constable staying there enters and tells them all to stop in the name of the law. He mistakes the unconscious Don Quijote for dead and yells out for the inn's doors to be locked. By the time he is able to get a light to see, all the parties involved are safely in their beds.
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 11
Don Quijote, upon regaining consciousness, calls out to Sancho. He tells him that the castle is enchanted because he has just been beaten up by a huge giant -- probably because the treasure of the daughter's beauty is guarded by a Moorish enchanter and it is not meant for Don Quijote. Sancho says that it must not be for him either because he has just been beaten up by four hundred Moors.
As the constable returns to the room, they wonder out loud whether he is the Moorish enchanter. He refers to Don Quijote as "my good fellow" and inquires how he is feeling. Not one to be deterred by common sense or cowardice, he calls the constable an idiot for speaking with such familiarity to a knight errant. Having had quite enough, the policeman hits Don Quijote in the head with the heavy lamp full of oil that he was holding and leaves the room.
"I'm sure, Señor, this is really the Moorish enchanter, who's keeping the treasure for other people, and saving, especially for us, all the heavy fists and banging lamps." Volume 1, Chapter 17, pg. 93
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 11
Don Quijote finally cooks up his magic balm and after saving some in a tin, drinks nearly half a quart and gives Sancho a bit remaining in the pot. Various are the ways this balm effects their digestive systems. Don Quijote explains to Sancho that it affected him worse because he was not a knight. After Don Quijote recuperates from the cure, he decides it is time to leave. As they are about to take their leave, Don Quijote offers thanks to the innkeeper and offers to revenge any wrongs ever done to him. The innkeeper declines this offer and tells Don Quijote that just paying his bill will suffice. He asks, "Is this then an inn?" (pg. 95), and explains that he thought it was a castle and he will not pay because knight errants stay for free, because of the public services they provide. The innkeeper doesn't agree, but Don Quijote rides off anyway.
Sancho also refuses to pay and is treated to a blanket tossing outside by some newly arrived guests; where they make a human trampoline with a blanket and repeatedly toss Sancho high into the air. Don Quijote, finally hearing Sancho's cries, is too weak to scale the fence to help him, but finally the merry-makers grow tired and let Sancho go. Maritornes has pity on him and brings him water from the well; but Sancho says he'd prefer some wine, and so she kindly brings him some -- and pays for it herself.
Unaware that the innkeeper has retained his saddlebags in place of payment; Sancho enthusiastically leaves the inn.
Traveling along, Don Quijote and Sancho disagree about whether enchantment caused all the incidents at the inn. Sancho says the blanket tossers had very human names like Juan Palomeque the Lefty (innkeeper's name), and that he wants to go home because all these adventures bring only misadventures.
They see two huge clouds of dust approaching them from opposite directions; Don Quijote says they are opposing armies and as they near he goes on to describe and name all the feature players from his latest fantasy by regurgitating endless details from the bunches of books he has read. So thorough is he, that he hoodwinks Sancho again into believing this alternate reality, until Don Quijote brandishes his sword and attacks. Sancho then realizes that it is two groups of shepherds with sheep; he stays back from this adventure, while trying to yell some sense into Don Quijote's ears from a safe distance.
Don Quijote manages to kill four of the animals before the shepherds, with slingshots and stones, remove four of his teeth and finally, him from his horse. During the repeated blows from the rock missiles, Don Quijote had drunk some of his magic balm. After the shepherds flee, Sancho peers into Don Quijote's mouth. As the squire takes inventory of his master's lost molars, the knight empties the contents of his stomach upon Sancho's poor head which, in turn, inspires Sancho to spill his guts too. They soon realize they have no saddlebags, and no food. Don Quijote tries to cheer Sancho up. He tells him that after so much bad luck -- good luck must be right around the corner. Also, all these misfortunes have nothing to do with Sancho!
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 12
Sancho tells Don Quijote that he believes that their misadventures stem from his master's failure to fulfill his oath to get the helmet of Mambrino. Don Quijote agrees, and although he admits that he had forgotten; he nevertheless blames Sancho for not reminding him and for his own blanket-tossing. He absolves himself of leaving his squire high and dry; by reasoning, that if Sancho had reminded Don Quijote about the helmet he wouldn't have had the horse blanket misadventure at the inn.
Topic Tracking: Scapegoat 8
Topic Tracking: Helmet Imagery 7
As they continue their hungry trek in the dark, a great many lights appear in the road ahead. Watching from the side of the road they see twenty white-robed men on horses and six black-robed men on mules. Don Quijote quickly sorts through the stories in his mind, (like a cook with recipe cards), and cooks up another recipe for disaster. But this time it is a disaster for the travelers, who are carrying a dead man on a bier to his tomb in his homeland. Situating himself in the middle of the road, he demands the travelers inform him of their identities and plans for they look as if they are either criminals or victims and he needs to know whether to punish them or avenge them.
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 13
They tell Don Quijote that they have no time to explain themselves to him. Irritated, he grab's the bridle on one of the mules spooking it and causing it to throw its rider. A muledriver curses at Don Quijote and he attacks one of the riders with his lance and charges at the rest of the unarmed men driving them away from the bier and path. He returns to the fallen man (who has a bachelor's degree and has just taken holy orders), instructing him to surrender. The man points out that he is well past the stage of surrendering since he cannot move since his leg is broken.
He gives Don Quijote the information he wants, and we learn that the man in the bier died from an illness. Don Quijote then explains who he is and that his mission is to right wrongs and undo injuries. The man, whose name is Alonso Lopez, complains:
"I don't see how you could be righting wrongs...because you've turned me from right to wrong, leaving me with a broken leg." Volume 1, Chapter 19, pg. 107
Don Quijote says it is Lopez's own fault for going about at night in this manner. He and Sancho help him up on his mule after Sancho finishes stealing from the traveling party's food stores. Sancho dubs Don Quijote, "The Knight of the Sad Face". Lopez informs Don Quijote that he may consider himself excommunicated from the church. Squire and knight chow down with the food they have stolen; only to find their hunger now replaced by a ferocious thirst.
Topic Tracking: Scapegoat 9
Driven by their thirst, they slowly make their way across the dark meadow. They eventually hear roaring water; but, it is accompanied by a very loud rhythmic banging that badly frightens Sancho and temporarily unnerves Don Quijote. He decides to meet this new adventure in the dark (inspired as he was, by his own grandiosity and belief that it is God in heaven's desire). No amount of pleas or tears from Sancho would dissuade him. Unseen in the dark, Sancho ties Rocinante's back legs with a donkey halter leaving the horse only able to hop.
"Now, señor, just see how Heaven, touched by my tears and my pleas has ordained that Rocinante shall not move." Volume 1, Chapter 20, pg. 112
This greatly angers Don Quijote; who after all, believes that his will and God's are the same. He calms down but remains peevish; much in the way of a child who does not get his/her own way. Sancho, fearing Don Quijote will go without his horse and leave him terrified in the dark, holds onto Don Quijote's thigh for dear life (as Don Quijote stays horsed) and attempts to tell a story to distract his master. The main female character in this tale is stocky and mannish (with a little mustache) and carries pimple medicine in her knapsack.
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 12
Sancho does a beautiful job botching up the story. He cannot even finish it, because Don Quijote did not keep track of the number of goats being ferried across a river (as Sancho had instructed him to). With biting sarcasm Don Quijote says:
"To tell you the truth...you've told one of the most novel tales ... anyone in the world has ever thought of, and the way you told it, and then ended it, is something never to be seen, and never ever seen, in the course of a lifetime, though I expected nothing less from your remarkable powers of reasoning." Volume 1, Chapter 20, pg. 114
Soon Sancho feels a powerful bodily urge that cannot be denied. Not willing to risk his master escaping, he deposits his bowel movement on the ground right where he is standing (while still holding onto Don Quijote's thigh). Don Quijote complains that Sancho has become entirely too at ease with his master. As dawn approaches, Sancho ties up his pants and unties Rocinante. In spite of his fear he decides to accompany his master on this fearful adventure. They discover that the fearful sound is hydraulic hammers pounding cloth. Don Quijote, initially embarrassed, begins to laugh and Sancho releases his pent-up laughter and follows it up by imitating and mocking Don Quijote's pretentious speeches from the night before. Don Quijote subdues him with a couple of whacks from his lance, and says that Sancho talks entirely too much for a squire; from here on in, they must both be more formal, or Sancho will lose respect for his master.
As they continue on their journey it begins to lightly rain. Don Quijote spots a rider with golden object on his head. Don Quijote believes it to be none other than the famous golden helmet of Mambrino. It is actually a basin that belongs to a barber on his way to a small village (that has no barber), who placed the basin on his head when it began to rain. But, alas for the poor barber, Don Quijote has knighted him and placed him on a dapple-gray horse and without further ado charges at the barber while brandishing his lance and crying out for him to surrender or defend himself.
The barber drops off his donkey to avoid the attack and runs away leaving his basin. Sancho hands the basin to Don Quijote commenting on its excellence as a basin. Don Quijote admits that it is not unlike a basin, but that it is still the helmet of Mambrino that has, at some point, been melted down and reshaped.
Topic Tracking: Helmet Imagery 8
Sancho, looking for some spoils of war for himself, manages to convince Don Quijote (who is a bit murky on some of the finer rules of knight errantry) to let him trade his donkey's harness and bridle for the fancy ones on the barber's mount. (It later becomes evident that he snatched the saddlebag also.) In this chapter Sancho pays lip service to Don Quijote's directive -- that the squire talk less -- but he actually talks just as much and continues to be impudent. They continue on and Don Quijote reassures Sancho that great rewards await them both, but now is a time for Don Quijote to prove himself worthy. Sancho makes plans that when he becomes a count he will have his very own barber to follow him about and keep him well shaved. Don Quijote says he will be the first count to have such a thing, but why not?
Next they see a chaingang of twelve men, the king's galley slaves, coming down the road. Don Quijote focuses in on the fact that these men are being forced to go somewhere against their will. The guards allow Don Quijote to question the prisoners on the nature of their crimes. The prisoners try to dress up their crimes; but, most of them are thieves of various things, such as bedding, money, animals and women's virtue (one man made several female relatives pregnant). One old pathetic man is a pimp (Sancho even gives him a dollar); Don Quijote does not see this as a crime, but rather a necessary public service (although he's feels it should be legalized and managed by the government).
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 13
One handsome fellow named Ginés de Pasamonte (a well-known thief, experienced galley slave and an unknown and unpublished author of his own autobiography) is tied up with additional chains and a padlock. He rivals Don Quijote in his ability to cast his actions in a virtuous light and for sheer audacity (he threatens one of the guards while chained up!).
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 14
Despite the fact, (obvious even to Don Quijote), that these men are indeed criminals; he still insists that they must be freed and not taken anywhere against their will or he will fight for their freedom. One of the four guards (two having muskets) is amazed and angered by such utter nonsense and tells him to take a hike and "straighten out the barber's basin you've got on your head." Volume 1, Chapter 22, pg. 133
Topic Tracking: Helmet Imagery 9
It was, indeed, a tactical error to ridicule the sacred helmet of Mambrino; Don Quijote quickly attacks him with his lance, unhorsing and badly injuring him. The galley slaves manage to break their chain moments after, and Ginés de Pasamonte (whom Sancho had helped out of his chains) snatches the musket and sword from the fallen guard. As the prisoners pelt the guards with rocks, he threatens to shoot them. The guards run for the hills.
Don Quijote, who wishes to honor Dulcinea, (by sending a bunch of criminals to pay her a visit); instructs the freed prisoners to present themselves as a group to her. Ginés very politely tells Don Quijote that this is impossible since they must separate and hide themselves or risk being caught again. Instead, they would gladly say any amount of prayers for Don Quijote (Ave Marias and Credos) that Don Quijote would specify. Angered, Don Quijote starts cursing at him, and soon all the prisoners start pelting him with rocks knocking both rider and horse to the ground. Ginés pulls the basin off his head and hits Don Quijote on the shoulders several times with it and the ground many more; leaving the helmet destroyed. After taking Don Quijote's jacket and Sancho's coat, the prisoners depart.
Topic Tracking: Helmet Imagery 10
Don Quijote admits that he should have listened to Sancho. Sancho tells him to listen to him now, and advises him that they should high-tail it out of there before the constables come. Sancho leads the way into the Sierra Morena mountains where they can hide. They come upon a cushion and a rotting suitcase that turns out to contain some fine linens (some are shirts), more than 100 gold coins and an elegant memo book. Don Quijote, letting Sancho have the gold coins (much to his delight) looks through the memo book for clues as to the fate of its previous owner. It is filled with poems and letters that suggest its owner was heartbroken over some lady. A man, with a thick beard, long unkempt hair and wearing worn, ripped pants, appears on the mountain peak leaping about the crags and bushes. Believing him to be the owner of the case, Don Quijote tries to follow, but Rocinante (who has not recovered from her last adventure with her master) cannot keep up.
They meet up with an old shepherd and learn this man (described as young, handsome) has been living like this for about six months; is at turns courteous and well mannered, then turns violent when he is having a mad fit. The shepherds want to catch him and bring him to a hospital or find out if he has any relatives that can help him. No sooner had Don Quijote decided that he too would look for the madman than he shows up in front of them. Sounding depressed he politely says hello to them all and Don Quijote gives the man a long hug as if he were a long lost friend.
They exchange words of elegant courtesy and Don Quijote tells him that he is a knight errant and if he will tell him what brought him to such a state, he will do what he can to help or commiserate with him. After studying Don Quijote, he asks for food (almost swallows it whole) and then beckons for them to join him as he sits on the grass. He promises the complete tale, but only on the condition that they do not interrupt or ask questions.
His name is Cardenio and he is of a wealthy noble family. He was just about to become officially engaged to a beautiful maiden named Luscinda (from a family similar to his) whom he had known and loved since childhood and who returned his feelings in kind. Both families favor the union, and Cardenio had already asked Luscinda's father for her hand but told Cardenio that the request must come from his father. Just as he was about to approach his father to make this request for him, a Grand Duke summoned him to act as companion for his eldest son, and so he asked Luscinda's father to delay giving her hand in marriage to anyone else till he could shortly return and make the appropriate arrangements.
After arriving at the Duke's home, friendship blossoms between himself and the younger son, Don Fernando, who confides in Cardenio that he has promised a beautiful farmer's daughter that he would marry her (though he has no intention of fulfilling this promise now that he has slept with her). He is now eager to leave town for a while and pretends he would like to shop for horses with Cardenio in his neighborhood -- where he meets the lovely Luscinda who ignites his ardor, although she is all but engaged to his friend.
During the course of Cardenio telling his story he mentions something about the book, Amadis of Gaul, and Don Quijote is off and running his mouth about knight errantry and whatnot. Cardenio insults a character (that is a queen in a book), by saying he believes she was having sex with her physician; this insults Don Quijote who insults Cardenio by calling him a liar and a rascal. Cardenio smashes a rock into Don Quijote's chest, and jumps up and down on Sancho's chest and beats the goatherd when they try to help Don Quijote. After the madman leaves, Sancho tries to blame the goatherd for what happened, saying he should have warned them of the man's violent temper (even though the goatherd had warned them).
Topic Tracking: Scapegoat 10
After this, Sancho says he wants to go home where he can talk as much as he likes. Don Quijote gives him permission for Sancho to do so, while they remain in the mountains. Sancho asks for a logical explanation for the inexplicable, namely Don Quijote's passionate defense of a queen to a madman. He explains that this is the duty of every knight errant. Sancho asks if it is also a duty to wander around lost in the mountains looking for lunatics? Don Quijote announces that he has additional plans he is going to accomplish in these mountains. Probably fueled by witnessing Cardenio's madness, he now plans to imitate several forms of madness shown by characters in his beloved books scorned and rejected by their ladies. He tells Sancho that he must travel to Dulcinea and tell her of Don Quijote's madness over her and then bring back her reply. Sancho points out that these men were driven to it; whereas, Dulcinea has neither rejected nor been unfaithful to Don Quijote:
"'That's exactly it,' replied Don Quijote, 'that's just how beautifully I've worked it all out -- because for a knight errant to go crazy for good reason, how much is that worth? My idea is to become a lunatic for no good reason at all.'" Volume 1, Chapter 25, pg. 151
Don Quijote's pretense at madness and further references to Mambrino's basin, is starting to convince Sancho that his master is indeed batty and he tells him so. They enter a beautiful meadow, whereupon Don Quijote practices the part of a lunatic -- loudly telling the gods, nymphs and dryads of the meadow of his scorned love for Dulcinea.
As he is about to free Rocinante, Sancho asks to use the horse to travel as his donkey has been stolen. (This is the first time the reader hears of Sancho's donkey having been stolen.) Rather than waiting and witnessing Don Quijote's performance as a madman, Sancho suggests that he has seen enough examples already to provide Dulcinea with a good accounting of all the crazy, stupid things Don Quijote will be doing. As they discuss the letter to be written to Dulcinea and the letter to Don Quijote's niece (instructing her to give donkeys to Sancho), the mysterious identity of Dulcinea is revealed. Her real name is Aldonza Lorenzo and Sancho knows her and thinks quite well of her and can see why Don Quijote is smitten with her. He describes her as strong, brave, well built, funny and down-to-earth. Her talents include the ability to yell loud and well (seen in her success in calling lads home from the field -- nearly a mile away!), and making faces. He asks Don Quijote (that since she isn't a princess), what would she want with the presents Don Quijote has been sending her -- like the conquered Basque?
"[F]or what I want of Dulcinea del Toboso, she's every bit as good as the noblest princess on earth." Volume 1, Chapter 25, pg. 156
Don Quijote admits that she is part invention like the ladies that poets praise, who do not actually exist; but, invent so they have something to write about. And spoken as if it were the most rational thing to do, he adds:
"And so, to sum it all up, I perceive everything I say as absolutely true, and deficient in nothing whatever, and paint it all in my mind exactly as I want it to be." Volume 1, Chapter 25, pg. 157
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 14
Topic Tracing: Grandiosity 15
The letters are written. Amid tears, Sancho gets ready to leave, but decides to see a few of Don Quijote's planned crazy antics just so he can feel honest when speaking to Dulcinea. So quick as a wink, Don Quijote takes off his pants (leaving himself naked save for his shirt) and does a couple of somersaults. Having seen more than he ever wanted to see; Sancho leaves now, confident that he will have a clear conscience when he says that his master is nuts.
Don Quijote decides to imitate Amadís's mournful madness, and tears a long piece off his shirt tails, making knots in it to use as a rosary. He spends his time saying thousands of Hail Marys, marching back and forth across the meadow, writing poems into trees and sand, and conversing with the spirits of the meadow (to whom he had introduced himself his first day there).
Meanwhile, Sancho (in front of the inn where he was blanket tossed), meets up with the priest and the barber from La Mancha who recognize him. At first, he evades their question as to Don Quijote's whereabouts, but then comes clean when they say it looks as if he murdered his master (since he is riding his horse). He then realizes that he does not have the Dulcinea letter, nor the one about the donkeys; which causes him to punch himself in the face several times till his nose bleeds. The priest and the barber set his mind at ease about these matters and enjoy his botched remembrances of the letter to Dulcinea. They soon realize that Sancho has been swept up into Don Quijote's madness, and while they go in to eat (promising to bring food back out for Sancho) the priest devises a plan to get Don Quijote's back home. The priest would pose as a damsel in distress, with the barber as his squire, and beg for Don Quijote's help in undoing a wrong done to her.
As the priest and barber start putting together their costumes, they borrow things from the innkeeper and his wife that arouses their curiosity. The barber and priest explain about their friend's madness; the innkeepers recognize him as their destructive guest, and tell of their experiences with Don Quijote. The innkeepers enthusiastically help the priest and barber prepare their disguises; loaning them (among other items) an outdated, velvet-satin dress set and a russet and gray donkey tail for a beard. After they leave the inn, the priest realizes that dressing up as a woman is probably sacrilegious and that they must change costumes. Sancho recognizes them and laughs, and they decide to wait and wear the costumes only when they get nearer to Don Quijote.
They let Sancho believe the plan is merely to stop Don Quijote from continuing his penitence. They instruct Sancho not to tell Don Quijote who they; also to tell him that since Dulcinea is illiterate, she told Sancho to tell his master that he was to come see her immediately or she'd be angry with him. Sancho tells them of the crazed man that lives in the mountains. They don their costumes and Sancho suggests that he first see Don Quijote alone since Dulcinea's request might be enough to make him stop his penitence.
Waiting for Sancho, the priest and barber hear a man singing. It soon turns into sobbing and moaning and they decide to search for him. They find him and recognize him as Cardenio and try to talk him into rebuilding his life. Hearing and seeing strangely dressed strangers talk so intimately of his life got Cardenio's attention. Sane at the moment, he says that although heaven must have sent them to show the foolishness of his current lifestyle, if they knew his whole story they might think differently. We finally get to hear the rest of Cardenio's story.
He had confided in Don Fernando that he delayed approaching his father, regarding the marriage, since he knew his father would want him to first find out what the Duke's intentions were for his future. Don Fernando offers to talk to Cardenio's father and persuade him to start arrangements for the marriage. He has Cardenio return to his brother to get money to buy the horses. Cardenio tells Luscinda of these things; she appears upset and is full of tears that Cardenio does not understand. Cardenio carries a letter to the brother; who then instructs him to wait eight days before returning and to make sure the Duke does not see him (since they are paying for these horses without the Duke's consent).
Four days later a messenger arrives with a letter from Luscinda for Cardenio. She tells him that Don Fernando has asked her father for her hand in marriage and her father has agreed -- since he is a better catch. They are to be married secretly in two days. She cryptically tells him to come if he thinks he should; the outcome that day will make it clear to him whether or not she loves him. Cardenio manages to return shortly before the ceremony and to speak with Luscinda. She tells Cardenio that if they will not listen to her she will kill herself with a dagger hidden in her clothes and at the same time reveal her feelings for him.
Hidden and in a state of shock, Cardenio watches the ceremony. When asked, if she will take Don Fernando for her husband, Luscinda does not answer for quite some time. Cardenio waits for her to draw the dagger she spoke of, but she finally, softly says "I do". The groom says his vows and places the ring on her finger; but, before he can embrace her -- she faints. Cardenio is beside himself with rage, jealousy and betrayal. He sees Luscinda's mother unfasten her bodice (to help her breathe) and remove a sealed document. Don Fernando reads this and then sits heavily in a chair. Cardenio leaves.
After he finishes his story, he tells the priest and the barber (nicely) to save their breath for they cannot help him. Just then they all hear a voice.
This chapter begins with the narrator addressing the reader:
"[W]e now enjoy... not only the delight of his own absolutely veracious tale but also all those other stories and narrative digressions which, to some extent, are no less delightful and skillfully told, and every bit as true, as his own history." Volume 1, Chapter 28, pg. 178
Topic Tracking: Metafiction 4
Looking for the voice, they spot a young fellow washing his feet and legs in a stream; however, they are surprised to see such beautiful feet and legs on a man! But, the removal of the fellow's hat reveals him to be a beautiful woman, and speaking with her they discover that she is none other than Dorotea, the farmer's daughter, whom Don Fernando tricked. They learn that her parents are very rich and that Dorotea is very smart -- practically runs the estate. She tells how Don Fernando harassed her constantly: seeking her attention, declaring his love and giving her parents gifts. However, both her parents and she suspected his true intentions. When news reached him that her parents were seeking a suitable husband (not him) for her, he got her maid to allow him into her bedroom one night. She was so frightened that she was unable to scream or move as he took her in his arms.
"[He] began to say such things to me that I cannot fathom how anyone could have such a facility at lying and still make his lies sound like truths. The traitor make his tears vouch for his words... I somehow began -- I don't know how -- to believe his lies, though...[they] didn't stir me to anything more than simple compassion." Volume 1, Chapter 28, pg.182
Starting to recover her wits, she tells him no one but a legal husband will ever have her willingly. He picks up a statue of the Virgin Mary to witness their vows. She tries to talk sense into him -- that his father will not be pleased by his marrying a commoner. Dorotea realizes that he means to have her -- one way or another (he has never let go of her); she weighs her options. Who would ever believe that she had not let him into her room and that he had raped her? She would be dishonored. That, along with his vivid sincerity, convinced her; and so, had her servant witness their private vows. When he left at dawn he gave her an expensive ring from his finger. He only returned once (the next night); she hadn't seen him for a month, when she heard that he had married someone else. Leaving quietly (with a male servant), she went to find Don Fernando to confront him. When she reached Luscinda's town, she quickly learned what had taken place at the wedding.
It turns out that the document in Luscinda's bodice said that she was already the wife of Cardenio and that she intended to kill herself with a dagger when she said her vows (only to obey her parents). A dagger was found on her. Don Fernando became so angry that he tried to stab her with it and probably would have killed her if he hadn't been stopped. Afterwards Don Fernando had disappeared.
Dorotea had come to the mountains to hide because she heard a public proclamation offering a reward for her whereabouts. After they reached the mountains, the man servant tried to rape her but she managed to push him over a precipice. Then the shepherd (who had hired her as a boy), had found out that she was a woman and had started making passes at her, so she had to hide again.
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 15
Dorotea does not want to go home, even though she knows her parents would still welcome and love her, because of her shame. Cardenio introduces himself and explains how intimately their fates are entwined. He tells her to take courage -- that since Don Fernando and Luscinda didn't marry -- there's a chance to remedy their situations. Also, if Don Fernando will not willingly marry her he will challenge him to a duel to restore her honor. The barber explains to them both about Don Quijote and their plan to bring him back home. Sancho returns and tells them that Don Quijote refuses to go to Dulcinea until he finishes a few other things he has planned. Dorotea, (who had packed some jewels and a gown), offers to play the damsel in distress role. She has read some of the chivalric romances and says she can handle it.
Sancho, (who has been in on the plot of the false princess), suddenly becomes ignorant of this plot when Dorotea substitutes for the barber in this role and the barber becomes her bearded squire. He truly believes she has a kingdom and that he and Don Quijote are going to achieve their dreams of rewards from helping her. He even asks the priest to get Don Quijote to marry her so he won't become an archbishop; because, Sancho feels his own married status will limit his rewards in the church.
Dorotea (playing Princess Micomicona), the false-bearded barber, and Sancho go to Don Quijote; where, she asks him to grant her a boon and conquer a giant who has taken away her kingdom. Don Quijote gallantly agrees to help her. She has also asked him to not engage in any other activities till he revenges her against this giant. Meanwhile, the priest has cut off Cardenio's beard and shared some of his clothes, so that Don Quijote will not recognize him as the madman of the mountains.
Taking a short cut, they meet up with Don Quijote and act surprised to see him. As they rearrange riders upon animals, (Don Quijote does not want the priest to walk), the barber is thrown from the rented mule and his beard comes off! This astonishes Don Quijote, who thinks he has just seen a miracle! The priest quickly sticks the beard back on, while pretending to speak some incantation. Don Quijote asks to be taught this charm -- because it would sure come in handy in his adventures!
As they continue traveling and discussing the arrangements to get to the princess's kingdom (they'll have to pass through Don Quijote's home town), it occurs to Don Quijote to question the priest why he is traveling through these parts underdressed and without a servant. The priest tells Don Quijote that he and the barber were traveling to collect a large sum of money (a gift from a relative), when they were attacked by highway robbers who stole even their beards -- and that's why the barber had to get a false beard! The priest, (who had heard from Sancho how Don Quijote freed the criminals), tells how word is out that these very same criminals were galley slaves who had been set free by a nut, another criminal or a psychopath -- who else would free these men to prey upon innocent people? Don Quijote turns several shades of red.
Sancho quickly jumps in and says that was none other than Don Quijote, and explains how he tried to stop him, but he wouldn't listen. Don Quijote defends himself angrily citing the rules of knight errantry as his defense and pulls down his old helmet.
Topic Tracking: Helmet Imagery 11
Dorotea soothes Don Quijote's ruffled feathers by assuring Don Quijote, that had the priest but known this he would never have spoken of it and the priest concurs. Don Quijote asks Dorotea for the particulars of her situation. She tells him that her father, Tinacrio the Wise, had much knowledge of magic and was able to see into the future. He knew that upon her parent's death, the giant -- Cross-eyed Pandafilando, would attack the kingdom to gain control. To avoid the slaughter of the good citizens, he instructed her not to defend the country; but seek out a knight errant in Spain named Don Quijote who has a gray, hairy mole on his back (as indeed Don Quijote does!). Also, she is to marry the knight once he cuts off the giant's head and give him the kingdom and herself.
Don Quijote explains that he cannot marry her and Sancho goes berserk yelling at Don Quijote and saying Dulcinea doesn't compare to Dorotea. Don Quijote hits Sancho with his lance twice and would have killed him if not stopped and then goes on to give him a good tongue lashing. Hiding behind Dorotea's mule, Sancho still insists that he should marry Dorotea and then he can always change his mind and return to Dulcinea. He adds that they are both good lookers even though he has never seen Dulcinea. But, the inconsistency that Don Quijote notices, is that Sancho is supposed to have just delivered a letter and spoken with Dulcinea. Sancho manages to cover up his slip of the tongue -- enough to stop Don Quijote from becoming suspicious, and they make up.
Cardenio and the priest discuss Don Quijote's madness and how if you stay clear of the subject of knight errantry you would take him for a very sensible, calm intelligent man. Don Quijote asks Sancho for more details of his visit with Dulcinea and Sancho admits leaving the letter behind and Don Quijote admits knowing he did. Sancho tells him that, luckily, he had memorized it and was able to dictate it out to a priest.
Sancho and Don Quijote talk at length about the visit to Dulcinea, with Sancho weaving quite a tale. He tells Sancho not to worry about his not marrying the princess; because, he will make an agreement with her for part of her kingdom before he fights the giant. As they all stop to take a rest and eat, the adolescent that Don Quijote "helped" (he was being whipped while tied to a tree), spots Don Quijote and runs to him, putting his arms around his legs and crying. Don Quijote remembers Andrés and introduces him to the others and recounts the deed he did for him. Andrés tells how, after Don Quijote left, his boss beat him so badly that he has only just gotten out of the hospital. He adds, that if Don Quijote had minded his own business, his boss would have paid him after a few more lashes. Before he leaves (with cheese and bread that Sancho has given him) he tells Don Quijote:
"For the love of God, sir knight errant, if you ever meet me again, please, even if you see me being cut into little pieces, don't rush to my aid or try to help me...because no matter what they're doing to me it couldn't be worse than what will happen if your grace helps." Volume 1, Chapter 31, pg. 209
Don Quijote jumps up to do some more violence to the boy; but, Andrés runs for his life, leaving Don Quijote with his embarrassment.
The next day, they reached the dreaded inn of Don Quijote's and Sancho's previous misadventures. They had no choice but to stay there, but at least everyone greeted them cordially. Don Quijote, grasping at the last straws of his dignity, said he would like a better bed this time. The wife said she would see to it -- if he paid better this time, and Don Quijote agreed. After he retired, she tried grabbing the donkey tail beard off the barber; saying she wanted it back. They decide to tell Don Quijote, that the princess had sent her squire on ahead to tell her people the great knight errant was coming and explain the barber's presence by saying he had come to the inn after the robbery. Discussion ensues about these popular books of knight errantry; those working at the inn are big fans of them and the innkeeper thinks they are true because they are printed by the Royal Council. As they bring out some books they have (left behind in suitcase by a guest), the priest and barber are hot to burn a few of them. The innkeeper asks if his books are heretics or "phlegmatics"? (pg. 211).
Sancho is troubled when he overhears the priest say that the books of knight errantry are not true and the innkeeper saying errantry is a thing of the past. The priest finds a short story in the case entitled, Story of the Man Who Couldn't Keep from Prying (also known as The Tale of Foolish Curiosity) and they ask the priest to read it out loud.
The story is about two best friends named Anselmo and Lothario who lived in Florence. They were both single noble gentlemen and rich. Anselmo falls in love with a girl named Camila and marries her. One day Anselmo confides in Lothario that he cannot be sure that his wife Camila is as virtuous and wonderful as she seems unless he puts her to a test.
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 16
He explains that if his wife is only chaste because she has had no chances to be otherwise, he cannot value her as much as if she had been tempted and resisted. He wants Lothario to flirt and attempt to seduce her. His friend is shocked -- Anselmo seems like a stranger to him:
"It seems to me utterly clear either that you do not really know me, or I do not really know you." Volume 1, Chapter 33, pg. 218
Lothario is appalled that Anselmo would ask him to do such a despicable thing and tries to speak some sense into his friend. He tells him his wife is only human, and shouldn't be tested but protected from temptation. Also, what would Camila think of Lothario, if he insulted a friend this way? Lothario refuses, but when Anselmo admits that he is so obsessed that he is going to do this with or without his friend's help, he relents. Anselmo says that if Lothario would just flirt a bit with Camila (test the waters) and she responds honorably, that will satisfy him. Then they can tell her this was a test cooked up by her husband and Lothario will not look dishonorable.
Lothario figures out a way to trick Anselmo and not have to do this insulting thing to Camila. Each time after Anselmo returns home (after leaving on some trumped up excuse to leave them both alone), Lothario makes up details about how boldly he flirted with Camilla and how she showed no interest and even threatened to tell her husband if he didn't stop. Still not satisfied, Anselmo wants his friend to offer her money and jewels! Unknown to Lothario, Anselmo spies on them this next time and finds out that Lothario is lying to him and not even speaking to his wife when he leaves them both alone.
Lothario tries to reason with him again. But, Anselmo won't listen and arranges a trip away for himself and tells Camila that Lothario will keep an eye on her and the house and eat there and she should treat him like her husband! She says that she would prefer a chance to prove that she was capable of running the house in her husband's absence, but Anselmo tells her that she has been told what he wants, now all she need do is "bow her head" (pg. 226) and obey him.
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 16
And so, Anselmo and his insatiable ego leave. Lothario arrives, and despite his good intentions is starting to become enamored with the lovely Camila after spending so much time in her company. His loyalty and affection for his friend are replaced by anger that Anselmo should place him in such a tortuous predicament. After three days Camila's maid, Leonela, (despite her mistress's orders that she is to stay by her) leaves her alone with Lothario who suddenly and passionately and truly starts trying to seduce the lovely Camila. She sends a note to her husband.
She tells him that his supposed friend is making passes at her and if he doesn't come home she's going to go stay at her parents. Anselmo the Arrogant tells her to stay put -- he'll be home any day now. She now worries that she shouldn't have written to her husband, and that maybe it was something she said or did to cause Lothario to treat her as if she was an unfaithful harlot.
Topic Tracking: Scapegoat 11
But, Lothario's charm and warmth and tears and sincerity finally win Camila's heart and they become lovers. Anselmo comes home and Lothario says Camila stayed true to him. Camila explains she was just imagining things when she wrote the letter. Leonela knows what is going on and plays it to her advantage by taking liberties in her mistress's home by having her boyfriend stay the night. Lothario spots the boyfriend leaving and thinks Camila is being untrue to him. In a fit of jealousy, he tells Anselmo that he has been keeping the truth from him and that Camila has been responding to his romancing of her while he was away and has promised to sleep with him the next time her husband is away. He tells him to pretend to go away for a trip but instead hide behind some tapestries in that room and see for himself.
Seeing how bad Anselmo feels, Lothario regrets his rash behavior. He then finds out from Camila that it was Leonela's boyfriend and tells her the stupid jealous thing he has done. They devise a plan to use it to their advantage and with her husband watching Camila gives an academy award winning performance of a faithful wife, even using a knife to try to attack Lothario and finally giving herself a small cut that bleeds. Anselmo is joyful again.
Interrupting the reading of the tale, Sancho comes running in yelling that Don Quijote is upstairs in the attic battling the giant and has cut off his head. He further informs them that there is blood spilling everywhere and the innkeeper realizes it is his wineskins full of wine that are losing this battle! They run upstairs to be greeted by a sight most horrid; not a bloody giant but a view of Don Quijote and his buttocks and hairy anorexic legs jumping around wielding his sword against the air. Don Quijote is fighting in his sleep and the whole floor is full of wine and the innkeeper is rightly inspired to beat the hell out of this guest from hell! They pull the innkeeper off him and splash him with a bucket of cold water to bring him to. Sancho and Don Quijote remain convinced that Don Quijote has just killed a giant. The wife goes on and on about the damage to her donkey tail. The priest assures them that they will do the best they can to pay for all this damage and they return to the story.
For a while, Anselmo continues to live in a fool's paradise. Leonela revels in the upper hand she has over her mistress; becoming more careless and bold, so that one night Anselmo, hearing strange noises, enters her room to see a man leaving out the window. To appease his anger she tells him not to kill her and she will tell him important things in the morning. He locks her in her room and reports these things to Camila who knows what important things Leonela is referring to. While Anselmo sleeps, she packs her jewels and whatnot and goes to Lothario who brings her to a convent for safekeeping.
Anselmo awakes and discovers the maid, his wife and his friend gone. After he returns from looking for Lothario, the rest of the servants have gone. Feeling as if he is losing his mind, he starts to travel to the friend he had often been staying with lately (while he was conducting his wife's test to see if she was indeed worth valuing). He learns on the way that the news is all over town (the major found Leonela escaping from the window and she told) that Lothario and Camila ran off together. Arriving at his other friend's house, Anselmo asks for paper and pen and a place to rest. Later his friend finds him dead from his misery with a note apologizing to Camila and taking full responsibility for this calamity.
"A stubborn, stupid wish has taken my life. Should Camila happen to hear of my death, let her know I forgive her, because there was no need for her to perform miracles, nor should I have wanted her to, and since I myself fashioned my own dishonor." Volume 1, Chapter 35, pg. 247
Topic Tracking: Scapegoat 12
Lothario joined the army and got killed. Camila joined the convent and soon died.
By a stroke of luck, or Providence as the characters believe, Luscinda and Don Fernando show up at the inn. Don Fernando had just recently swiped her from a convent. Their faces are veiled, so no one knows them at first, but eventually everyone's identity is revealed. Dorotea, ever wise, noble and forgiving, manages through her words and love to do the impossible -- to transform the narcissistic heart of Don Fernando into one both honorable and repentant! He is going to do the right thing by her and discovers that he does indeed love her:
"You have won, my lovely Dorotea, you have won. How could anyone deny such a weight of truth?" Volume 1, Chapter 36, pg. 251
Luscinda and Cardenio weep and embrace, Dorotea and Don Fernando weep and embrace -- even Don Fernando, Cardenio and Luscinda get together for a group hug. Sancho is weeping too as he feels the great rewards of Princess Micomicona (who has now turned into ordinary Dorotea) slipping from his embrace.
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 17
Sancho tells his master that the princess has turned into an ordinary lady. The priest fills the newcomers in on their plan of rescue for the nutty knight errant. The new improved Don Fernando says they will help because he is real keen on doing good deeds now. Dorotea maintains that she is still the princess in distress and Don Quijote calls Sancho an idiot for confusing him.
Travelers enter the inn; a dark-skinned good looking man (in his forties) with a long mustache and a well-kept beard dressed in Moorish clothes with a scimitar hanging off him and a woman (also in Moorish clothing) hidden by a veil. For the time being, the narrator refers to him as the 'captive' since the others in the inn would assume from observing him and his dress to be a Christian, newly ransomed or newly escaped from the Moors. He asks for a room, but there is none left. Dorotea approaches the woman and offers to let her stay in their room; the woman bows in appreciation. The captive explains that she does not speak their language and further questioning reveals that she is a Moor but desires to be baptized a Christian (which has been delayed because her life has been in danger). Her veil is removed and she too, is lovely and beautiful like Luscinda and Dorotea. When introduced as Zoraida, she becomes very upset and insists her name is Maria.
Over dinner, Don Quijote discusses the pros and cons of the hardships and virtues of a life of learning over that of soldier, warrior or knight errant.
Don Quijote continues the monologue working towards convincing the listeners of the superiority of the man of arms. Everyone is amazed at Don Quijote's intelligent, logical argument considering his mad delusions. They ask the captive to regale them with the tale of his life.
He is from the León Mountains, a poor region, though his family was considered rich by local standards. They would have been richer, except that his father was an incredibly generous man (he learned this as a soldier) who could not control his extravagance. After giving it much thought, his father decided to give his sons their inheritance before his death (and before he spent it).
The captive has not been able to get in touch with his family for twenty-two years. He gives a short synopsis of his career as a soldier (citing a battle that Cervantes was in), and his capture.
The captive tells how he was always looking for a way to escape from wherever he was imprisoned. He tells of one master who enjoyed being cruel and would cut off a Christian captive's part, hang, or impale them -- given the slightest excuse. The only person he treated well was a Spanish soldier named Saavedra (Cervantes refers to himself).
The prison yard was surrounded by the homes of nobles that had round deep windows covered with iron grillwork. One day, the captive and three of his prison companions saw a stick tied with a handkerchief sticking through the grillwork, being waved at them. Each of his companions went over to see if the stick would be lowered to them, but it was not until the captive went over, when it was lowered and tilted so the handkerchief fell off. It contained ten dollars worth of gold. Another time it contained Spanish doubloons and a document written in Arabic.
They took this to an imprisoned renegade (traitor) who was always kind to the Christians and whom they felt they could trust. The letter reveals that the woman is a Moor Zoraida who had been taught about Christianity and the Virgin Mary by a Christian woman slave when she was a little girl. She says the captive looks like a gentleman to her and she wants him to arrange for them both to go to where Christians live. She further writes that she is young, beautiful and rich and that she would like to marry him and that her father must not know about any of this because he would kill her.
He promises to help and marry her and she continues to give them money to save towards their own ransom. Her name is Zoraida and her father is the wealthy Moor Hadji Murad. The captive arranges for the ransom of himself and three of his fellow prisoners and the renegade.
Together with a Moor, the renegade buys a ship and makes trips to another port where he anchors in a cove very near Zoraida's summer home. They arrange for some other Christians to man the oars. The captive, using the pretense of gathering herbs for his master Arnaute Mamí's (actual name of pirate captain that had captured Cervantes), meets Zoraida's father while he is on his property and speaks with him in lingua franca. Soon, Zoraida appears and her father calls her over. She is, of course, absolutely gorgeous and perfect; the epitome of idealized beauty and not only that, but she is one smart cookie too! For, while acting as if she does not know the captive, she asks why he has not been ransomed, and he informs that he has. Quick on her feet she tells him, that if he had belonged to her father, she would have demanded twice as much ransom since Christians always lie and pretend poverty.
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 18
A commotion arises elsewhere on the property leaving Zoraida and the captive alone to discuss the plans.
According to the plan, they manage to tie up the Moors that are on the ship, and go to get Zoraida. Unfortunately, Hadji Murad awakes and they have to stuff a hankie in his mouth and take him along too. They disembark and her father discovers that she is in on all this and wants to become a Christian. He throws himself into the sea but they retrieve him. He then says his daughter's real reason for leaving is so she can indulge her sexual appetite, and then calls her a slut. After they leave him and the Moors on land, he changes his tune and calls her beloved and that he forgives her.
A French ship approaches and asks them who they are and where they are going and they try to sail by without answering since they fear they are pirates. The French fire at them; causing their ship to sink and they beg the Frenchmen to take them on. (The Renegade had dropped the money box overboard.) The French blame the captive; explaining they wouldn't have fired upon them if they had just been polite enough to answer their question. After answering all their questions, the French ruthlessly strip them of all their possessions. Heh, but they are not all bad; they give them their skiff, some biscuits, water, and forty doubloons for pretty Zoraida.
Topic Tracking: Scapegoat 13
Heading for Gibraltar, they arrive on Christian soil and are soon met by fifty cavalrymen. One of the captives recognizes his uncle on a horse and soon the whole city comes out to see them. Zoraida gets to go to a real church with real pictures of the Virgin Mary. The captive and Zoraida buy a donkey with the doubloons and soon leave.
As they captive ends his tale; he explains that before he marries her (he is acting only as her squire right now) he wants to visit his father.
Cardenio et al., offer to help in any way they can; and although grateful the captive declines. Soon a coach draws up to the inn; its passenger a judge. Although there is no more room at the inn, the innkeeper's wife lets the judge use her and her husband's room with his own bed he brought. The judge has his daughter, Dona Clara with him who is also stunningly beautiful. Don Quijote welcomes him to the castle. The captive spies the judge and is 99% sure it is his brother; he asks a servant of the judge for the judge's name and indeed it is his brother, Juan Pérez de Viedma.
He also learns that his brother is very well off and confides in the priest that he is unsure how his brother will receive him since he is as poor as a church mouse now. The priest talks with the judge; to feel him out and get the lay of the land as to his character. He tells him he spent some years in captivity with a Ruy Pérez de Viedma (we now learn the captive's name); and relates the captive's history up to his capture with Zoraida by the French pirates. The judge cries; he wishes he knew whether his brother was free or safe and where he was so, that he could help him and Zoraida. The priest brings the captive and Zoraida out to the brother, and all are tearful, all are joyful as they reunite.
Finally, they all retire save Don Quijote who goes outside to stand guard. Dorotea hears a beautiful voice singing.
Clara is upset by the singing, for it is boy who lives across the street from her at home; Don Luis, the son of a nobleman who is only dressed like a muledriver so that he can follow her about. They are in love but not even sixteen and Clara is below him socially. The singing stops and everyone is finally asleep save the innkeeper's daughter and Maritornes and Don Quijote.
The two girls play a prank on Don Quijote. While he is outside babbling sweet nothings about his Dulcinea they call to him from a hole, in the side of the inn, used for throwing out dirty straw. Don Quijote saw it as a grilled castle window and reminded the innkeeper's daughter that he was not available for her amorous intentions; but if there were anything he could do for her besides satisfying her romantic passions he would do so gladly. Maritornes replies that her mistress might feel better if she could just have Don Quijote's hand. Standing upon Rocinante (so that he could reach the hole), he inserts his whole arm in it:
"I do not give it to you so you may kiss it, but rather so you may see how its sinews are structured, its muscles knitted together, the breadth and capacity of its veins, from all of which you should be able to calculate the strength of the arm which has such a hand." Volume 1, Chapter 43, pg. 301
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 17
They rope his hand and attach the other end to a door bolt and leave the poor dolt there. Don Quijote, assuming he is under some enchantment again, yells for help -- first for Sancho, then for some magicians, then a witch and finally anyone to come and help him. Four armed men come to the inn and bang on the door; but rather than ask their assistance, he tells them to stop bothering the people sleeping in the castle so early in the morning. Their knocking finally rouses the innkeeper and one of their horses manages to rouse the stone-like Rocinante by sniffing her and of course this requires that she sniff in return as horse etiquette requires. Don Quijote is left hanging from the hole in excruciating pain.
His yells awake Maritornes who scrambles out of bed to free him before anyone becomes wise of their prank. The men are there to look for the boy, Don Luis, whose father is worried sick about him. They find him but he refuses to go home. Dorotea explains Clara and Don Luis's situation to Cardenio. The judge recognizes Don Luis and they talk about the situation. Meanwhile the innkeeper is being beaten up by some guests whom he caught leaving the inn without paying. Maritornes asks Don Quijote to help the innkeeper, but he says he must first ask permission from the princess since he has promised her not to engage in any adventures till he has regained her kingdom for her. Maritornes says that the innkeeper might very well be dead by then, and Don Quijote tells her not to worry because he'll either bring him back to life or revenge his death. He receives permission from Dorotea, but when he sees that they are commoners he tells her to get Sancho since a knight errant can only fight against other knights.
Somehow, Don Quijote manages to talk the guests into paying their bill instead of beating up the innkeeper. The next guest to arrive at this inn is none other than the barber; the original owner of the golden basin or helmet of Mambrino and the decorative harness and saddlebag (that Sancho had swapped and swiped) who had unluckily met the dynamic duo earlier in our story. He sees Sancho with the hot goods and tells him to give him back his belongings; Sancho instead gives the barber a bloody face with his fist. The barber grabs the harness and calls loudly for the police and "Justice" and says if they will but place the harness on his donkey, they will see if fits perfectly.
Don Quijote is mightily impressed with his squire and plans to dub him a knight. Sancho and Don Quijote maintain they won these items fairly, and Sancho fetches the helmet.
Topic Tracking: Helmet Imagery 12
The wronged barber, secure in the knowledge that he is in the right, asks those assembled around him if they believe his basin to be a basin. The barber from La Mancha, who wants to extend the fun, admits that he too is a barber, but has also been a soldier and as far as he is concerned it is a helmet although not a complete helmet. Cardenio and Don Fernando agree. (The judge is preoccupied with his own affairs and does not speak.) The wronged barber is flabbergasted. He tells them that if the basin is a helmet, then the saddlebag must be a fancy harness.
Topic Tracking: Helmet Imagery 13
Don Quijote, who only cares about his helmet, says he thinks it's a saddlebag but he is not going to meddle. The priest insists that Don Quijote is the expert on these and all knightly matters and he must decide. Don Quijote cops out by saying he cannot reach a clear decision due to the enchanted nature of the castle that alters the appearance of objects to him. Those, in on the joke, decide to take a vote; those not in on it, are utterly confused by these proceedings. The vote is in, and Don Fernando speaks to the wronged barber:
"[S]o you'll simply have to resign yourself -- you, and your ass, too -- to the sad fact that this is indeed a decorative harness and not a saddlebag, and your case has been singularly badly argued and substantiated." Volume 1, Chapter 45, pg. 311
The wronged barber says they are all mistaken and so do one of the servants and a policeman. Don Quijote attacks the policeman and a riot breaks out as everyone starts fighting.
Don Quijote, taking on an uncharacteristic role -- as the voice of reason (although it is short-lived) -- shouts for everyone to stop before they all get killed. He explains that the castle is enchanted and infested with demons and that they have all been cast under a spell forcing them to reenact an argument from another time and place.
The policemen back down quickly when they learn they have been fighting aristocrats and nobles; but one officer studies his warrants and recognizes Don Quijote in the description of a man wanted for arrest for freeing criminals. He grabs Don Quijote by the collar and orders his arrest and Don Quijote promptly tries to strangle him; the innkeeper (also a deputy sheriff) comes to the aid of the policeman and his wife starts to shriek from seeing him in a fight for the third time today. Sancho remarks that the place must be enchanted because it's impossible to get any peace there!
Don Quijote and the officer are separated. Don Quijote, arrogantly laughing in their faces, explains that they are lowborn, putrid garbage and have no business trying to arrest him because he, Don Quijote, is outside and above the law; he is a law unto himself because he is a knight errant:
"[K]nights errant are exempt from the application of all laws and statutes, that for them law is their sword, statutes are their spirit, and edicts and proclamations are their will and desire." Volume 1, Chapter 45, pg. 314
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 18
While Don Quijote is explaining his special dispensation from the rules that govern the rest of humanity; the priest is busy explaining to the police that Don Quijote is quite mad and that if they arrest him, he will only be set free. The police decide to put their energies to something more useful; i.e., stopping Sancho and the wronged barber from further injuring each other. They rule that the saddlebags be exchanged but not the harness or bridle. The priest pays the barber for the basin and the barber gives him a receipt stating he relinquishes all claim to the basin for all eternity.
Topic Tracking: Helmet Imagery 14
It is agreed that Don Fernando will take responsibility for Don Luis while that other servants report back to the boy's father. He also pays Don Quijote's substantial bill for his stay at the inn. Don Quijote tells Dorotea that he wants to leave the inn now and regain her kingdom for her. Sancho informs his master that he believes Dorotea to be an ersatz princess because he has seen her smooching with Don Fernando behind the outhouses. He further adds that if she's giving her favors willy-nilly to anyone staying at the inn, they might as well stay and eat their dinner and let all the whores do as they will.
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 19
Don Quijote flies into a rage and tells his squire leave and never come back or he will let him have it. Dorotea calms Don Quijote by reminding him that Sancho is not in the habit of lying so he must be suffering from the castle's enchantment. Sancho and Don Quijote make up. Meanwhile arrangements have been made with an ox-cart driver to carry Don Quijote in a special crate made to carry him. Don Quijote takes a much-needed nap and awakes to find himself being tied up by people he does not know (everyone involved has disguised themselves) and shoved into the crate.
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 19
Sancho recognizes everyone but waits to see what the lay of the land is. Out of sight and in a mysterious voice the Barber (of La Mancha); now assuming the role of oracle explains to Don Quijote that this is necessary to speed things up and foretells (using animal imagery) that he and Dulcinea will marry and produce children that have natures like their father.
To keep Sancho mollified he throws in a few promises about being exalted and receiving his just wages. Don Quijote is loaded up onto the ox-cart.
Ensconced in the crate for safekeeping, Don Quijote is confused over this less than magical mode of transportation that the spirits are using on him; for in the books he has read they ride through the air in a cloud or a chariot of fire.
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 20
Sancho tries to hint to his master that there is something suspicious about these apparitions; he has touched one who reeks of perfume. They discuss the possibilities and impossibilities of a demon smelling pleasant (as Don Quijote believes this to be within the power of demons). Fearing Sancho's loose lips, he is silently ordered to ride upon his donkey (away from his master). The innkeeper's wife, her daughter and Maritornes play their parts and cry at Don Quijote's departure. Amid hugs and promises to write, the priest and barber take their leave of the cast of characters from As the Inn Turns.
The innkeeper gives the priest another short story from the trunk, this one entitled: "Rinconete and Cortadillo" (though not mentioned in the story, this is a story by Cervantes).
Topic Tracking: Metafiction 5
They meet up with a cathedral priest and his traveling party. Sancho admits to the priest that he recognizes him and that they are all ruining his chances to be governor of an island. The barber tells Sancho that he has been seduced (the Spanish can translate to "got pregnant by") these ridiculous promises of an island. Sancho defends himself:
"'No one's gotten me pregnant'...'and I'm not the kind of man who lets himself get pregnant, not even by the king, and though I may be poor, I'm an Old Christian.'" Volume 1, Chapter 47, pg. 325
The cathedral priest is filled in on the nature of this strange traveling party. It turns out that the cathedral priest also believes (like the priest of La Mancha) these fantastic imaginative books of knight errantry and chivalry to be a menace and danger to society, and a lengthy critique follows. He points out how the authors of these books don't even attempt to follow their own plot lines or any accepted rules of writing; but instead purposely aim at creating pages of mass nonsense and confusion.
The priest of La Mancha further adds that the genre has the potential to be something valuable as its form easily lends itself to fiction.
Topic Tracking: Metafiction 6
The two priests discuss their views on the plays currently being staged in Spain. They all stop to eat and rest. Sancho spies an opportunity to talk to his master and try to convince him that he is being tricked, not enchanted. Don Quijote remains stubborn and insists that only supernatural powers could contain Don Quijote. Sancho, who has heard that enchanted people neither eat nor drink, plays the trump card of his argument. He asks Don Quijote if he has felt the need to urinate.
Slow on the uptake; Don Quijote finally understands what his squire is driving at and says:
"Ah, ah, now I understand you, Sancho! Oh yes, lots of times, and I feel it coming right now. Get me out of this pickle, because it's already pretty messy in here!" Volume 1, Chapter 49, pg. 333
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 21
Following this line of logic, Sancho reminds Don Quijote that people are often referred to as acting enchanted when they stop eating, drinking, sleeping and responding to those around them; so, if Don Quijote is doing all these things, it must follow that he is not enchanted! Slippery as an eel, Don Quijote wiggles out of this snare of logic by protesting that there are many different kinds of enchantments and this may be a new kind and further adds:
"I think and believe that I'm enchanted, and this satisfies my conscience, for it would weigh heavily upon me, if I believed I wasn't enchanted and had let myself be locked up in this crate like a lazy coward." Volume 1, Chapter 49, pg. 333
But he agrees to Sancho helping him to get out of the crate. Sancho promises the priest to keep Don Quijote from running away if he will let his master out to attend to his bodily functions as the crate is becoming soiled. The priest agrees. The cathedral priest tries to convince Don Quijote that the reading of these fictitious books of chivalry have harmed his mind.
Don Quijote defends the veracity of these books historical accuracy by pointing out that they are printed by royal license. The qualities that people love in these books get a fair hearing in this chapter as Don Quijote describes how readers are "...delighted...astonished...." (pg. 339) and cheered by these tales.
Don Quijote presents an eloquent and convincing and sincere argument in defense of these books until he states how his character is much improved since reading these books.
He speaks of his promise of making Sancho a governor and expresses misgivings over Sancho's ability to handle this responsibility. Sancho overhears and says it will be no problem as he will just hire someone to look after the day to day affairs like collecting the rents and whatnot. The cathedral priest points out that he would also have to administer justice and make rulings. Sancho's final ruling on this is that when he is made a count, he will know how to act like a count. Don Quijote says he will make him one just as Amadís of Gaul did for his faithful squire.
As they eat, a shepherd named Eugenio (who is after his wayward female goat) approaches the picnickers, while talking to his goat. He asks her if some wolves had frightened her away; but, he then decides her flight solely was due to her fickle female nature. The cathedral priest invites the goatherd to join them and comments that since the goat is a female she can't control her natural instincts. The goatherd then offers to tell a true tale that will illustrate the true nature of women.
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 20
He tells a story of another rich man (farmer) and another gorgeous, virtuous maiden Leandra who were father and daughter. Eugenio (the goatherd telling the story) and Amselmo (not the character from the short story) are both seeking her hand in marriage and are both considered suitable. However, Leandra chooses instead to run off with a poor farmer's son, Vincent de la Rosa, who has returned home after serving many years as a soldier. (He is a charming braggart who through accessorizing makes his three uniform wardrobe look like twelve.) Vincent takes the jewels and money Leandra has stolen from her father, strips her down to her underclothes and closes her up in a cave.
She is found and claims she is still a virgin, so her father brings her to a convent; hoping time and her youth will heal her reputation. Amselmo and Eugenio leave town to live in a valley caring for the herds they own -- along with many other men, who also suffer from the distress of longing for the beautiful Leandra -- who can be heard blessing, cursing and singing about her as they care for their herds. Eugenio admits to relieving his stress by criticizing females in general and that's why he spoke in the manner he did to his goat; that despite her being the best animal in the herd, it's impossible for him to "think well of her" (pg. 346) since she is a female.
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 21
Topic Tracking: Scapegoat 14
Don Quijote offers to capture Leandra from the convent and bring her to Eugenio. Eugenio expresses the opinion that Don Quijote must be nuts. Don Quijote says something unkind about Eugenio's momma and throws a load of bread in his face; and a fight between the two ensues. They call a truce after hearing a trumpet blow in a sad way. It is a parade of penitents, dressed in white, and carrying a statue of the Virgin Mary in black mourning cloth. Due to the drought in the area, they are making a pilgrimage.
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 22
Don Quijote demands that they free this damsel, whose mournful expression, clearly indicates that she is being taken somewhere against her will. As they all laugh, Don Quijote attacks but a penitants knocks him down with a huge stick. Sancho throws himself on Don Quijote's body (he believes him dead) and wails over him and sings praises of his master. Don Quijote comes to and asks if Sancho could please put him back in the enchanted oxcart because he is not able to ride. Sancho suggests that they return home with these "gentlemen" and rest up before embarking on more adventure. Don Quijote agrees.
They enter the village six days later. Don Quijote's niece and housekeeper yell and cry when they see the condition Don Quijote was in. Upon seeing Sancho, his wife Juana, asks how the donkey is doing and if he has brought any clothes or shoes home to cheer her since she has missed him sorely since he has been away. Sancho says he has brought home better things and he will soon be a count and she a lady; but for now she should just be quiet and patient. He goes on to tell her that to be the squire of a knight errant out for adventure is truly wonderful.
Don Quijote is brought to his bed. The priest instructs them to keep an eye on him as he heals since he fears he will return to his mad delusion of practicing knight errantry.
Don Quijote does return to this, but the author is unable to find much information on his third foray into the world as a knight errant or even how he died. Eventually, he did come across some documents found in a lead strongbox (found by a very old doctor). These documents were written by professors that were members of the Academy of Armamasilla (which translates out as "cement and rear end") and included epitaphs, sonnets and poems about Don Quijote, Sancho, Dulcinea and Rocinante. Many other documents, in poor condition, were given to a professor to decipher and word has it that he has successfully accomplished this and has plans to release his findings very soon.
Topic Tracking: Metafiction 7
Cervantes dedicates Volume 2 of Don Quijote to Don Pedro Fernández Ruiz de Castro y Osorio, otherwise known as the Count of Lemos and Cervantes patron from 1613-1616. He tells the count that everyone has been begging him to write this sequel so they can return to a state of health after being so sickened by the ersatz sequel, written by someone else, which has been distributed all over the world.
"...to get rid of the disgust and nausea caused by this other Don Quijote." Volume 2, Dedication, pg. 359
The Emperor of China is so desperate for it that he offered Cervantes a job as headmaster of a school that would teach only Spanish and Don Quijote. Cervantes sings praises to the Count of Lemos for his generous patronage.
Cervantes tells the reader that he has no intention of insulting or retaliating against the nameless author who wrote a book about the further adventures of Don Quijote. He knows that the readers are just dying for him to "call him an ass" and let him have it, but Cervantes claims that this is the furthest thing from his mind at the moment. He is content for this man has to live with the knowledge of his huge error. He feels no need to take revenge, even though, this man hurt Cervantes by calling him old and crippled (referring to his missing hand he lost in battle). He is proud to have fought at the battle at which he lost his hand and would do it again gladly. He mentions that he was also a bit ticked off when this author, not only said he (Cervantes) was jealous of Lope de Vega, but had the nerve to also explain and define the word "jealous" -- as if Cervantes were an imbecile!
Nevertheless, Cervantes feels no need to ridicule this man; for he feels that he is probably suffering enough -- why else would he hide his identity as if he were ashamed? He asks the reader that if he should run into this author, explain that Cervantes is not angry with him; but, understands how the devil can tempt a man to do greedy stupid things -- like imagining he has the talent to write a good book to make money. He asks the reader instead, to tell him some stories -- like the following one:
Once there was a nut who went about sticking a small reed pipe, (usually used for making music), into the anus of any dog he could catch; blowing into the pipe until the dog blew up round like a balloon. The lunatic would then ask the gawking bystanders:
"'You think it's easy... swelling up a dog like that?'
And at the end of the story ask this man:
'Do you think it's easy, your grace, making a book?'" Volume 2, Prologue, pg. 361
Topic Tracking: Metafiction 8
He tells the reader that here is the true, genuine, second volume of Don Quijote -- who shall be laid to rest for all eternity at the end, so that no one else can tell lies about him or his life.
Sidi Hamid Benegeli is the chronicler of Don Quijote's third time out as knight errant. It has been a month since his return home, during which his niece and housekeeper have been feeding him well and doting on him. They tell the priest and the barber (who have deliberately stayed away from Don Quijote, so as not to remind him of knight errantry) that he is cured of his madness. Skeptical about this quick return to sanity, they decide to pay him a visit. They find him decked out in flannel and sporting a red cap, looking like a dried out mummy. They all talk about the government, and the various improvements they would make (if they were in charge), Don Quijote speaking wisely and sensibly. The priest decides to test the waters. He tells Don Quijote that word has it, from the court at Madrid, that the Turks will attack Spain with a huge armada. The King of Spain had already sent extra soldiers to various coasts in readiness for the attack.
Don Quijote feels His Majesty has done well; but, wishes the king would adopt an additional plan -- that Don Quijote has -- one the king probably hasn't even thought of. The barber says that kings always get many senseless ideas from people.
"'Mine, Sir Scraper and Shaver,' said Don Quijote, 'would be sensible, not senseless.'" Volume 2, Chapter 1, pg. 363
After the priest and barber soothe his ruffled feathers, Don Quijote, busting with excitement, tells them of his great plan. The king need only make a public announcement requesting all knight errants to appear in front of him on a specific day, and surely one of them would be up to the task of single-handedly bringing down the Turks! He speaks ofAmadís of Gaul and how in the historical books of knight errantry knight errants have won similar victories. He says that God will again send the people a brave knight errant -- but he'll say no more on that subject right now! The niece yells out her disappointment that her uncle means to become a knight errant again. Don Quijote tells them all that he will be a knight errant till he dies -- so much for rehabilitation!
The barber asks to tell a short tale that will illustrate nicely the dynamics of this current situation. Once upon a time, in Seville, there was a lunatic asylum. A man, who was a university graduate with a law degree, had been placed there by his family after he had become insane. After residing at the asylum for a long time, the man believes he is now sane. He writes a well-written letter to the archbishop begging his assistance in releasing him from the asylum. He says his family is keeping him in there, so they do not have to share his part of the family wealth. The archbishop sends a chaplain to investigate this claim. The asylum director tells the chaplain that the graduate is still quite nuts; although, able to speak sanely at times, crazed idiocies would soon follow. The chaplain, after speaking with the graduate, believes he is sane and tells the director to release him.
The graduate asks to say good-bye to some of his cell mates. He tells one man, in a cage, to have faith -- because if he can get well and leave -- he can too. In another cage, an utterly naked man tells him to lie low after he gets out or they'll send him back. The graduate tells the man that he is now completely sane and need not fear this. This angers the madman, who says he will now punish the town of Seville for releasing a madman. As "Jupiter the Thunderer" he can destroy the planet with thunderbolts, but instead will only bring a three year drought on the city of Seville. The university graduate tells the chaplain to pay this no mind; as he himself is Neptune and has the power to make it rain anytime, anywhere. The chaplain tells him that he prefers not to irritate Jupiter, so he'll come back for him another day.
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 22
Don Quijote gets the point, but denies this story's connection to him and refers to the barber as his "razor-stropping friend" (pg. 367) to invalidate the barber's insightful view into Don Quijote's delusions. Don Quijote launches off on a passionate validation of knight errantry and then tells them:
"[A]nd I, for all that, will stay in my asylum, if there's no chaplain to take me out of it, and if that Jupiter, as the barber tells us, won't rain, well, here I am, and I'll rain whenever I want to. Which I say because I want Mr. Barber-Basin to know I understand him." Volume 2, Chapter 1, pg. 368
The barber denies that he meant any insult to Don Quijote, but Don Quijote is not buying it this time. The priest says, that if he is to be honest, he is not entirely convinced that these knight errants were real people -- that perhaps they are myths and fables. Don Quijote says he has often run into people who have the same mistaken disbelief and that he is often successful in bringing them around and proceeds to try to convince the priest. This conversation is interrupted when they hear the niece and the housekeeper outside yelling and they all get up to see what is happening.
Sancho is trying to get in to see Don Quijote, and the niece and housekeeper are trying to keep him out. They tell Sancho that he is the one influencing Don Quijote to go out on these trips. Sancho says it is he, who has been tricked into these adventures with the promise of an island that he has never received. Don Quijote says to let him in (he fears he Sancho will tell something he'd rather leave unknown).
Topic Tracking: Scapegoat 15
Don Quijote corrects Sancho on his assertion that he was dragged away from his home; reminding him that they were in this together. He then asks him how the public views Don Quijote and his heroic deeds. He tells Sancho to be completely honest and Sancho obliges willingly. He tells him that the common folks think he is nuts, gentlemen think he is putting on airs by adding Don to his name, and noblemen do not appreciate him trying to enter their ranks, especially with his mended clothes. On the bright side, some do think he is brave and gallant, though unlucky and has a lot of nerve. But it is all mostly negative and that includes Sancho as well.
Don Quijote reminds Sancho that the good are always persecuted; for example, Julius Caeser for his ambition and lack of cleanliness. This cheers Sancho, who then remembers his other news; that their adventures are recorded in a book already. It is written by Sidi Hamid "Eggplant" and is titled The History of that Ingenious Gentleman, Don Quijote de La Mancha.
A college graduate named Samson Carrasco told Sancho about this. Sancho asks if Don Quijote wants to meet him and of course Don Quijote does and Sancho goes off to find him.
Topic Tracking: Metafiction 9
While waiting for Carrasco to arrive, Don Quijote worries about how he has been depicted in the book. He is concerned about the author being a Moor, since they are notorious for being dishonest. Finally, Carrasco and Sancho arrive. Samson Carrasco is twenty-four years old and has a reputation as a wit -- "a friend of well-turned phrases and well-pulled legs" (pg. 375). Upon seeing Don Quijote, he gets down on his knees and asks to kiss his hands and says:
"Blessings on Sidi Hamid Benengeli ...and...on the inquiring mind responsible for translating that history from Arabic into our native Castillian, for the universal entertainment of all peoples." Volume 2, Chapter 3, pg. 375
Don Quijote tells him to rise and Samson tells him that more than 12,000 copies of the book are in print. He eases Don Quijote's mind by assuring him that both the historian and the translator have diligently depicted him as gallant, virtuous and noble. Sancho asks if Rocinante's day of the randy mood is mentioned. Carrasco assures him that the author left nothing out. The graduate adds that people are big fans of Sancho's dialogue; though, they feel he is a little too naive when he believes he will be governor of an island one day. Sancho and Don Quijote staunchly defend this foray into the squire's delusion. Sancho says that the governors that he has seen cannot compare with himself!
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 23
Carrasco mentions that one of the book's problems is the inclusion of a short story -- "The Story of the Man Who Couldn't Keep from Prying" -- that though well told, just doesn't seem to belong. Don Quijote adds that he doesn't understand why the author added additional stories to the book since surely Don Quijote easily supplied enough plot to fill a book. Carrasco says that since the book is so easy to read and can be understood by all types of people, people have started calling any old horse they see Rocinante. Continuing in his praise, he adds that there is nothing offensive in the whole book!
Topic Tracking: Metafiction 10
However, people have wondered about the mystery of the donkey; which, is referred to as stolen, (but the reader is not told how) and then it later appears. Also, they want to know what Sancho did with the hundred gold pieces found in the suitcase. Sancho says he'll explain it all after he's had dinner at home with his wife. Carrasco stays and dines with Don Quijote.
Sancho returns. He tells how his donkey was stolen the night of the day they freed the criminals (which was the same day they intercepted the corpse being brought to Segovia). They had both fallen deeply asleep on their mounts, and a thief placed four sticks under Sancho's saddle and removed his donkey. Don Quijote chimes in that this is not difficult and has been done before; citing an incidence from one of his beloved books of chivalry. Sancho tells how some days later he spots Ginés de Pasamonte riding his donkey. Carrasco says that doesn't explain how in the book the author has Sancho riding on the donkey again. Sancho suggests that it could be the historian's or printer's fault.
Topic Tracking: Scapegoat 16
Topic Tracking: Metafiction 11
Sancho is very defensive about the hundred gold pieces and says he spent them on his family. He also tells them that the author is keen on writing another book on Don Quijote and his squire since he likes the money. Sancho says the author better take his time and do a good job and that they should be out there right now righting wrongs.
They plan to leave in about three days and Carrasco recommends starting out this time in the Kingdom of Aragón where a serious tournament is being held. He also advises Don Quijote to be more careful with his life since he is responsible for helping and protecting the weak and needy. Sancho heartily agrees with this; adding, that this time he will do no fighting, but only do a crackerjack job taking care of his master. He mentions the promised Island again, but acts nonchalant about it -- if he gets it fine, if he doesn't that's find too. Don Quijote asks Carrasco to compose a poem for Dulcinea del Toboso and Carrasco promises not to tell anyone that they are planning to leave again.
The translator does not feel that the material in this chapter to be authentic due to Sancho's uncharacteristically subtle dialogue. Sancho tells his wife Teresa (who was called Juana in Chapter 51 of Volume 1) that he is off to squire again. He tells her he would just die if he didn't feel certain that it wouldn't be long before he got that governorship. She points out that he has lived his whole life without being a governor and can continue to do so if necessary. But if he does, don't forget her and the children: little Sancho (almost fifteen) who needs to go to school and Mari Sancha who is just dying to get married.
They then have a big argument over whom Mari will marry. Sancho wants her to marry nobility. Teresa says that will be no good for Mari, who will not know how to cope with all the fancy clothes and manners required. Sancho calls Teresa a "fool", and says she could learn all that in a couple of years and that his daughter will marry whom he says she will. Teresa tells him that she will never let her daughter marry someone who could look down on her because of her lowly heritage. Sancho can go and become a governor wherever he wants; but, she and her daughter are staying right where they are.
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 24
Sancho continues trying to convince Teresa, but using a nicer tone of voice, and they arrive at a compromise. Sancho will send for his son if he receives a governorship, since it is important for him to learn his father's trade. He agrees to wait as long as possible before making Mari a countess. He then returns to Don Quijote to prepare for the trip.
Meanwhile, the housekeeper and niece could tell that Don Quijote is intending to go off as a knight errant again. His niece asks him why couldn't he be a knight at court instead. He explains to that knight errants are in a class all their own and gives her a short synopsis of their great and mighty deeds that illustrate their courageous hearts. The niece tells him that these stories are just nonsense and that they aren't true! Angered, he invalidates her and her right to even dare to have an opinion on such a matter -- she, who is "barely able to waggle a dozen lace bobbins"! (pg. 390) His niece asks how is it possible for him to be so wise and insightful on some matters and yet completely deluded on others:
"[Y]ou think you're brave and courageous, when you're really old; you think you're strong, when you're really feeble; you think you can go righting wrongs when age has bent you in half -- and, above all, that you're a knight, when you're not, because even though gentlemen can become knights, poor ones can't!" Volume 2, Chapter 6, pg. 390
Nicely sidestepping most of his listed delusions, he zeroes in on the issue of his being a poor gentleman. He proceeds to outline the various types of family trees and summarizes his thesis that in the end all families are connected. Out of patience, his niece agrees sarcastically that her uncle knows all and can do all! And that he could build a house as easily as a bird cage if he set his mind to it. Don Quijote agrees; that there is nothing he cannot do if he sets his mind to it and that he could make bird cages and toothpicks very well if he wanted to. Sancho arrives and he and his master go off to speak in private.
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 25
The housekeeper goes off to look for Samson Carrasco who she knows is a new friend of Don Quijote's and hopes that he will be able to persuade him to stop this nonsense. She finds him in the courtyard, explains the problem to him. He tells her not to worry, but fix him some breakfast and he'll be over shortly. He then goes off to consult with the priest. Meanwhile, Sancho is telling Don Quijote that he has "evinced" (pg. 393) his wife to let him go. Don Quijote corrects his word usage and Sancho reminds him that he has asked him in the past not to correct his word usage if he understands what he is trying to say; if he doesn't understand -- then ask. If Sancho cannot explain, then Don Quijote can correct him since after all he is "so focile" (pg. 393). Immediately Don Quijote tells him that he has no idea what "so focile" means. Sancho tries to explain, but cannot. Finally, Don Quijote tells him that now he gets it -- he means "docile":
"'And I'll bet,' said Sancho, 'you got it right away,...but you wanted to get me all bothered, so you could hear me make a couple of dozen more mistakes.'
'That's possible,' replied Don Quijote." Volume 2, Chapter 7, pg. 394
Sancho, using many sayings and mutilated proverbs, beats around the bush , till Don Quijote asks him what point is it that he is trying to make. Sancho wants a monthly paycheck until his island comes in. Don Quijote refuses to agree to such a thing because he has never read of such an arrangement in any histories of knight errantry. The squires of these knights served their masters well and waited to see what they would be given, often based on how Fortune smiled on them. He throws a few proverbs at Sancho, pointing out that he too can pour out proverbs, and tells him that this is his offer -- take or leave it. He is sure it would not be hard to find a better squire than Sancho.
Sancho is stunned; he had never entertained the thought that Don Quijote would go without him. Samson comes in now with the housekeeper and niece and begs Don Quijote not to detain his departure any longer because the world (orphans, widows, virgins among others) need his assistance. He himself is even willing to serve as his squire. Don Quijote is delighted by this offer and says I told you so to Sancho. He declines this generous offer saying Samson's talents are better served elsewhere. He tattles that Sancho is refusing to accompany him. Sancho says he will, that he was only trying to appease his wife; but, if Don Quijote will only make sure his will cannot be "repoked" (pg. 396), he will leave right away. Sancho's creative use of vocabulary astonishes Carrasco who thought that Sidi Hamid had made up this trait of the squire. He thinks they are quite possibly the two biggest idiots that have ever existed. Don Quijote then says he needs a helmet or he just won't go. Samson says he knows of one he can get him, although it is rusted and not bright and shiny.
Topic Tracking: Helmet Imagery 15
They finally leave one evening; with Don Quijote on Rocinante and Sancho on his old donkey. Carrasco travels with them a mile or so and then goes a separate way.
As master and squire continue on, both the horse and donkey whinny and bray -- which they both take as good omens. The donkey is louder than Rocinante which Sancho takes to mean that this trip will be luckier for him than for his master. Their first stop is to be the Toboso, so that Don Quijote can get Dulcinea's blessing and smile which will give him courage. Sancho refers to his visit with her (a lie) and tells Don Quijote that she'll have to throw her blessing over the courtyard wall. Don Quijote says he must be referring to the balconies of the palace, but it's not important as long as he sees her. He compares her beauty to the rays of the sun; the sight of which will give him unparalleled "wisdom and courage" (pg. 398).
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 23
Sancho says he must have missed catching these rays because they must have been blocked by the dust from the wheat she was sifting. Don Quijote expresses disbelief that Sancho is sticking to his story that the grand person of Dulcinea was sifting wheat! It must be the work of a very jealous enchanter who altered Sancho's perception of what his eyes saw. Sancho quickly agrees with this -- although, he can't think for the life of him -- what would cause an enchanter to be jealous of him:
"[A]lthough it's true I'm pretty clever, and I'm something of a rascal, but all that's well hidden under this always easy and natural disguise of behaving like a fool." Volume 2, Chapter 8, pg. 399
Don Quijote and Sancho discuss how the need to be someone -- to be famous and remembered -- is a very strong urge. Also, that the motivation behind many great feats is the reward of fame -- although "Christians, Catholics, and knights errant" are more interested in attaining glory in heaven rather than earth. Sancho asks Don Quijote many questions about the various tombs that great men are buried in, including whether they receive commemorative offerings like locks of hair, wax eyes and crutches and if lamps are kept burning by their tombs. Don Quijote, says no, those things are reserved for saints and martyrs. Sancho points out that they should try to become saints or martyrs because it'll take less time to become famous. For an example, he tells how just recently two friars got canonized after torturing themselves by wrapping iron chains about their bodies. Don Quijote admits this is true, but not everyone can be a friar. He also feels that Knighthood is a religion and saintly knights go to heaven.
After a few days they arrive at the city of Toboso and decide to wait till night to enter the city. Sancho is nervous that Don Quijote will find out that he lied about delivering his master's message to Dulcinea and that he made up her reply since he has no idea where she lives.
When midnight arrives, Don Quijote and Sancho enter the sleeping town of Toboso. Don Quijote asks Sancho to take him right to Dulcinea's palace just in case she is not yet asleep. Sancho reminds him that he never saw her in a castle. Don Quijote sees a huge shape ahead and thinks that this must be it. Sancho tells him to lead the way and maybe that's what it will be. It turns out to be a church. Sancho asks how in the world is he supposed to find a place that he has only been to once, when Don Quijote cannot find it and he has been there many times. Don Quijote admits that he has never seen her, but only heard of her great beauty and wisdom. Sancho says that he has never seen her either. Don Quijote says this is no time for jokes.
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 24
Don Quijote is miserable. Sancho suggests that return alone during the day and arrange for him and Dulcinea to meet and Don Quijote readily agrees.
As Don Quijote waits in the woods, Sancho heads back toward Toboso. However, once he is out of Don Quijote's sight, he gets off his donkey and sits by a tree to have a good think. He imagines the conversations and reactions he would get from the hot-tempered, proud people when they are told of his mission in their city. He imagines that they would feel it to be a highly reasonable response to hit him with big sticks for coming into their town trying to chat up and bother their ladies.
He decides there is no reason to risk getting hurt just to please Don Quijote and there are probably many Dulcineas in Toboso to boot! He realizes that his master is quite a nutcase (and Sancho not much better); seeing things that aren't there -- like giants where there are windmills -- so he decides to use Don Quijote's insanity in his favor. He'll pretend and convince Don Quijote that some peasant girl is the ravishing Dulcinea and if his master says she isn't he'll be just as stubborn and insist it is. At that point his master will probably believe that a jealous evil magician has transformed his Dulcinea into a plain, unadorned peasant girl.
Sancho, plan in hand, stays right where he is till he spies three peasant girls on mules headed Don Quijote's way. He quickly rides over and tells him Dulcinea is on her way with two of her ladies; all of them decked out in jewels and brocade. Don Quijote tells Sancho for this good news he may choose the best spoils from their first adventure or all the foals from Don Quijote mares at home. Sancho chooses the animals. Seeing the three village girls riding towards them, Don Quijote asks where is Dulcinea. Sancho acts amazed that Don Quijote cannot see the exquisite beauties and three lovely palfreys. Sancho rides out to greet the ladies, dismounts and kneeling on the ground addresses the village girl he has chosen to play Dulcinea as one would a princess. He introduces himself and then Don Quijote as that wondrous knight -- Don Quijote of La Mancha or Knight of the Sad Face.
Kneeling down, Don Quijote is confused by the sight of his Dulcinea's ugly features. Although surprised at first, the girls quickly recover and tell the duo to "go soak your head" (pg. 410) and to get out of their way or else. Don Quijote tells Sancho to get up as it is useless, obviously the evil magician has not only clouded his eyes to Dulcinea's beauty, but has made Don Quijote appear as horrible to Dulcinea. Eager to be away, the ersatz Dulcinea jabs her donkey with a stick sending him running across the meadow where it bucks and flings her to the ground. As Don Quijote tries to assist her, she gets up herself, steps back and runs, making a flying leap upon her mount. Sancho is impressed. She and her escorts race away.
Don Quijote rants about how all these magicians hate him -- even to the point of stealing Dulcineas lovely scent and replacing it with that of garlic! Sancho commiserates with his master; but says that she looked absolutely beautiful to him -- right down to the mole next to her mouth from which eight golden foot long hairs grew! Don Quijote ponders where her matching mole might be and says if she had a hundred moles they would be as beautiful as moons and stars in the sky. He is buying all that Sancho is selling today.
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 25
As they travel towards Zaragoza, Don Quijote remains in a dark mood thinking about this latest trick that the wicked magicians had played on him -- the transformation of Dulcinea. They spot a cart coming towards them filled with alarming figures. The driver looks like the demon of Death and he is accompanied by an angel, an emperor, cupid and a knight wearing a multi-feathered hat. Setting himself up as a roadblock, Don Quijote demands that they identify and explain themselves. They explain that they are a troupe of actors who are performing the play "Parliament of Death" in village nearby. Don Quijote tells them he is a great fan of the theater and blesses them and tells them they can now go.
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 26
A clown, jingling with bells and banging a stick with inflated ox bladders on the ground, performs for Don Quijote. This startles Rocinante making her run away with Don Quijote upon her back until they somehow fall down. As Sancho runs to help, the clown climbs upon his donkey and mimes the funny scene he has just witnessed and then returns the donkey. But Sancho and Don Quijote are angry because he hit the donkey with the ox bladders to get him to run away. Don Quijote yells that he wants to teach this troupe a lesson about how to treat animals. The actors quickly pick up rocks and form a defensive line and await DQ's next move.
Topic Tracking: Donkey Imagery 1
Sancho successfully talks Don Quijote out of this fight by reminding him that none of these people are knights, so Don Quijote is not allowed to do battle with them. Don Quijote asks if Sancho would like to revenge the insult done his donkey, and Sancho says it wouldn't be a Christian thing to do and his donkey has agreed to abide by any decisions Sancho makes regarding slights to him. Sancho also admits being more interested in living peaceably than fighting. Don Quijote calls Sancho good, wise, Christian and honest, and they ride away from the actors.
That night while eating, Sancho says he was foolish to choose the spoils from his master's first adventure rather than the foals his master had also offered as a reward. (Actually, Sancho did choose the foals - see Chap. 10, pg. 409.) Don Quijote talks about the purpose plays serve; how they show humans their true behavior and nature. Sancho responds insightfully and Don Quijote comments on how he is gaining in wisdom. Sancho attributes it to his hanging around with Don Quijote:
"....for land that's dry and unfruitful will give you good crops, if you put on enough manure....I mean, your grace's words have been like manure spread on the barren ground of my dry and uncultivated mind." Volume 2, Chapter 12, pg. 418
The translator tells the reader that the original author's (Sidi Hamid Benengeli) first draft had more on the amazing friendship of Rocinante and Sancho's donkey; but, he deemed these digressions inappropriate in this heroic tale. These two animals were the best of friends -- helping each other scratch hard-to-reach places and resting neck on neck. The translator feels that it is right for the author to tell of the fabulous friendship of these two animals; for, haven't humans always learned much from the animal kingdom? One example, the translator mentions, is the use of enemas from watching storks.
Topic Tracking: Donkey Imagery 2
After Don Quijote and Sancho fall asleep, they are awakened by the arrival of another knight and his squire nearby. They overhear this "Knight of the Wood" speaking of his ladylove, Casildea of Vandelia who remains ungrateful despite the fact that he has forced so many knights to acknowledge her as the most beautiful woman in the world -- even the Knight of La Mancha! After Don Quijote and Sancho make their presence known, the two knights sit down to get better acquainted while the two squires walk off a ways to chat.
The two squires have much in common. The Knight of the Wood's squire also believes that knight errants' squires receive governorships of islands and countships too. They discuss how they would be better off just going home and enjoying life's simple pleasures -- like raising their children. The Knight of the Wood's squire compares his to pearls, and Sancho speaks of his daughter whom he is raising to be a countess. When asked for more information on her, he describes her as comely, tall and strong. The other squire speaks admiringly of her saying she sounds like a wood nymph and then follows this up by referring to her as "whore" and "female dog". Sancho defends her and her mother and says he is offended and surprised to hear such insults and language coming from one who serves a courteous knight. The other squire explains that he meant it as a compliment -- as highest praise! -- and goes on to explain the slang usage of these terms. Sancho is mollified, and goes on to declare that his wife and children are the best whores in the world. (Please note that both squires are still sober at this point!)
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 26
They speak candidly and at length of the masters they serve till Sancho starts to hack up "thick, dry saliva" (pg. 424). The other squire immediately recognizes this as a severe case of dry mouth and says he has just the remedy in his saddlebag. He brings back a huge wineskin and a huge meat pie. He praises the wine by calling it "whore" and "female dog" and identifies its type correctly, and tells how he comes from a long line of gifted wine tasters. After a while they pass out companionably each clutching the wine skin.
The Knight of the Wood tells Don Quijote of the lady he serves, Casildea of Vandalia, and how there is none larger and none more beautiful. But alas, she is fickle and despite his successful completion of the Herculean tasks she sets out before him, remains aloof. His latest quest is to challenge all the knight errants of Spain and get them to pronounce her the most beautiful woman alive. He then claims that he even defeated Don Quijote de La Mancha and made him admit that Casildea was more beautiful than Dulcinea. Don Quijote eventually reveals his identity; but, the Knight of the Wood maintains that his defeat of Don Quijote still counts even if it was only a look-alike crafted by an evil magician. Nevertheless, he agrees to a rematch with Don Quijote, and suggests the terms of defeat be the loser must do whatever the winner tells him to do within the bounds of appropriate behavior for a knight errant. Don Quijote agrees and they agree to wait till daylight.
It is still dark when they wake the squires and inform them of these new plans and to help them get ready. The Knight of the Wood's squire informs Sancho that it is the custom where he comes from for the squires of knight errants to fight each other. Sancho says he has no intention of honoring this strange custom; besides, he doesn't have a sword. The squire suggests they conduct a pillow fight and hit each other with canvas bags. Sancho warms up to this idea, until the squire adds that they will need to place some rocks in the bags to keep them from blowing away. After Sancho explains that he cannot fight a man he is not angry with, the squire says he'll punch Sancho in the face a few times and that ought to do the trick. Sancho says he has an even better idea -- that he will beat the squire to death -- and that will be an end to it!
When dawn arrives, Sancho sees the squire's nose that is a huge, hooked affair with purple warts upon it. Sancho is terrified. Don Quijote gets his first glimpse of his opponent whose identity is masked by his helmet and is wearing a golden garment covered with mirrors over his armor. Now referred to as the Mirrored Knight, Don Quijote asks for a peek at his face, but the knight refuses. As they mount their horses and ready for battle, Don Quijote takes a moment to help Sancho get up a tree away from the huge monstrous nose of the other squire. Unaware of the delay, the Mirrored Knight had begun his charge forward, expecting Don Quijote to be similarly engaged. He stopped when he realized Don Quijote was not ready, but Don Quijote had caught sight of him charging and spurred Rocinante on to battle and hit the knight right off his horse.
Don Quijote quickly removes his vanquished foe's helmet and sees by the face of the Samson Carrasco. Believing enchantment to be at work, he is about to kill him when the squire, now appearing without his huge nose and looking like Sancho's neighbor and good friend Tomé Cecial, yells for them to stop. Carrasco agrees to Don Quijote's demand that he admit to Dulcinea's peerless beauty and to present himself to her. Although Sancho recognizes the face of his friend, he joins Don Quijote in the belief that enchantment is at work.
Don Quijote and Sancho head toward Zaragoza. This plot, that Carrasco had worked out with the priest and the barber, to force Don Quijote to return home (Carrasco was supposed to win and demand that Don Quijote return home) has failed miserably. After they find a doctor to help Carrasco, Tomé sets out for home and Carrasco cheers himself with thoughts of revenge against Don Quijote.
As Don Quijote and Sancho travel on, Sancho begins to believe he had truly seen his friend from home. Don Quijote asks him to listen to reason -- why would the real Samson Carrasco behave in such a manner? Also, if these evil magicians can alter Dulcinea's beauty to homeliness, they surely could alter enemies to take on the appearance of friends.
A man, beautifully outfitted and wearing a green overcoat, rides past them and Don Quijote offers him to journey with them if he is going the same way. The man says he would be glad to if they are sure his mare will not disturb his horse. They assure him that aside for one incident, Rocinante can be trusted. Don Quijote becomes aware of the man's frank appraisal of him (the man is taking in Don Quijote's strange appearance) and informs him that he is none other that that celebrated knight Don Quijote of whose life thirty thousand books have been printed. The man says that his literary tastes lean toward non-fiction and has never read tales of chivalry. He introduces himself as Don Diego de Miranda.
It turns out the man has a son who insists on being a poet, which is a bit of a disappointment to his father. Don Quijote waxes eloquently on poetry and poets, impressing Don Diego who begins to doubt his first impression of Don Quijote (that he's insane) and revise his opinion of him. Meanwhile, Sancho is buying cottage cheese from some shepherds he spotted. A cart bearing royal flags is approaching and Don Quijote tells Sancho to fetch his helmet.
Sancho did not hear his master's specific directive, but only the urgency of the command. Quickly placing the cottage cheese in his master's helmet (the shepherds did not provide containers for their customers), he hurries back. Don Quijote places the helmet on his head and is immediately bathed in the cheese. He at first fears that his brain is melting away or he is having a massive case of perspiration, until he recognizes cheese for cheese and accuses Sancho of treachery. Sancho blames Don Quijote's persecuting enchanters -- they are now persecuting Sancho by filling Don Quijote's helmet with cottage cheese to make Sancho look bad.
Topic Tracking: Helmet Imagery 16
Topic Tracking: Scapegoat 17
The cart is carrying two huge lions that are being sent as presents to King. Don Quijote demands that they be released so that he may fight them, and no one is able to dissuade him from the grandiose fantasy raging in his head. Don Quijote allows Sancho, Don Diego, the muledriver and his mules to leave the immediate area and seek safety. The lion tamer opens the door to the cage but the King of the Beasts merely yawns, turns about and lays down, presenting his backside to Don Quijote. Don Quijote wishes the tamer to prod the lion into battle but he refuses explaining that the lion would then attack him; besides, Don Quijote has already claimed great honor by merely attempting this worthy act of courage and quickly agrees to produce a written testimony saying just that. Don Quijote has Sancho tip the travelers for his delaying them, and the lion tamer orally testifies that the mere sight of Don Quijote frightened the lion so, that he refused to leave his cage. Don Quijote instructs them that when they tell the King of this feat, to refer to Don Quijote as The Knight of the Lions, his new name.
Don Diego invites them to rest and visit at his home that they will soon be reaching.
They arrive at Don Diego's rural home and meet Don Diego's son the poet, Don Lorenzo, and wife, Doña Christina. As their acquaintance grows, Don Lorenzo thinks of Don Quijote as a "wonderful lunatic" (pg. 453). They dine, converse about poetry and recite poetry. Despite Don Quijote's obvious madness, Don Lorenzo is flattered when Don Quijote praises his poetry. After several days they leave with the generous supplies Don Diego has given them.
Soon after leaving, they meet up with two university students: one named Corchelo and the other referred to as "the swordsman". They quickly pick up that DQ's nutty, but admire him just the same. They invite him to attend a wedding with them, that is going to be a big to-do. They fill Don Quijote and Sancho in on the dramatic details behind the wedding that is to take place. Quiteria the Beautiful is marrying the Camacho the Rich, although she and a shepherd (the boy next door) Basilio have been in love since they were children. However, her father found Camacho to be a better prospect he arranged her to marry him instead. Basilio, (handsome and multi-talented) appears to have lost his mind and everyone fears he will kill himself when they marry. They arrive at the village that night amidst the wedding preparations and lord and squire go off to sleep in a field.
The next morning Sancho smells the wondrous foods being cooked for the wedding. Although, the day before had been siding with the plight of Basilio, his stomach now sees the sense of Quiteria marrying the rich man. He speaks at length until Don Quijote tells him to shut up. He reminds Don Quijote of his promise to let him speak as much as he likes. Don Quijote claims he has no memory of such a promise. They proceed to the wedding feast and festivities, which are extraordinary.
The bride and groom arrive and Quiteria is breathtakingly beautiful and splendid in her fine dress and many jewels. Basilio soon appears in his own special get-up for the occasion: a loose black coat accented with splashes of bright red, along with the traditional funeral crown of cypress and a huge walking stick. He accuses Quiteria of betraying their love and announces his intent to die. Hidden within the staff is a sword. He removes the sheath and throws himself upon it; the sword appearing bloody emerges from his back. Not quite dead, he begs for Quiteria to marry him now so that he can die happy. Camacho says its okay with him if Quiteria feels she should. She agrees to marry Basilio who now adds that he wants her vows to be sincere, not merely a dying man's last wish. She takes the vows stating that she will honor them whether his life is short or long.
Sancho notices that Basilio is quite talkative for a soon-to-be corpse. After the priest finishes the impromptu ceremony, Basilio jumps up, removes the sword and Camacho realizes he has been tricked by he and Quiteria. Camacho and his friends draw their swords to attack, but Don Quijote's argument in love's defense and the terrifying way in which he wielded his lance delayed them long enough for Camacho to calm down and consider the priest's wise council. Recovering quickly from his broken heart, he says for the party to continue. Basilio and his new bride, their friends and family, and Don Quijote and Sancho returned to his village with the only broken heart belonging to poor Sancho who had to leave all that bounty behind.
The newly-weds praise Don Quijote for his courage and all he did to assist their cause. Quiteria, it turns out, was not in on the scheme. Don Quijote speaks of how it is easier to keep a good woman good, than try to make a bad woman good. Sancho speaks bitterly of his wife Teresa saying that although she could be worse; she is not nearly as good as he wishes her to be.
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 27
Don Quijote asks the Swordsman if he knows of anyone who could guide them to Montesinos' Cave, and he tells him he will get his cousin to do it. Basilio's cousin is an author and a big fan of tales of chivalry. Don Quijote and Sancho and Basilio's cousin set out for the cave and learn that he has written a historical book that explains the origins of everything from the first person to have a cold to the first person to use mercury to cure syphilis. Sancho, who finds the idea of this book fascinating, asks who is the first man to scratch his head and then decides it must have been Adam. He then asks who the first acrobat could have been and decides that it must have been Lucifer when he was thrown out of heaven and tumbled down to hell. Don Quijote accuses him of having heard that one from someone else, and Sancho replies:
"I tell you, when it comes to asking stupid questions and giving crazy answers, I don't need to go looking for help from my neighbors." Volume 2, Chapter 22, pg. 476
Arriving at the cave, they tie a knot about Don Quijote and lower him into it till all six hundred feet of rope is gone and they no longer hear his shouts. After waiting a half hour, they decide to bring him back up and find that the rope is weightless and fear the worst for their friend. But as they bring up the last hundred feet they finally feel weight on the rope and bring up a sleeping Don Quijote. They finally manage to awaken him whereupon he tells them that they have brought him out of a paradise that he will tell them all about as soon as he has eaten.
Don Quijote tells his incredible experiences down in the cave. Tired of dangling on the rope (after eighty feet), he got out on a ledge to rest. He called up for his friends to stop letting the rope down; but, as they didn't -- he let it coil up next to him. As he wondered how he would now get to the very bottom of the cave, he fell asleep and when he awoke found himself in a beautiful meadow. He then noticed a crystal palace and as its gates opened, a very old man came over and hugged him. He is none other than Montesino himself and he has been waiting for none other than Don Quijote himself who is to be the one to tell the world what is hidden in the cave.
Don Quijote asks him if it is true that he cut out the heart of his friend Durandarte to bring to the Lady Belarma. It is true (though his friend was dead at the time) and Montesino brings him to a marble tomb where Durandarte lies in the flesh -- a somewhat noisy dead man as he just then calls out to Montesino asking about the delivery of his heart. Montesino gets upset, because no matter how many times he explains that he delivered the heart, his friend either does not hear or doesn't believe him. However, he does hear him when he explains that Don Quijote (of whom Merlin prophesied great things according to Montesino) is here and may be able to help break the enchantment, and replies:
"....if not, oh my cousin, what I say is: patience, and shuffle the cards." Volume 2, Chapter 23, pg. 482
It turns out that there a great many enchanted people down there. Lady Belarma arrives at the end of a procession carrying the mummified heart. She does not look too good to Don Quijote, and Montesino explains that it is not due to her menstruating but the stress she has been under. Montesino then has the effrontery to say, that on a good day her beauty would rival that of Dulcinea. This ticks Don Quijote off but Montesino apologizes for his blunder.
They then discuss how three days passed for Don Quijote and only an hour for Sancho and the cousin. They decide it has something to do with enchantment and ask Don Quijote if he ate during the time he was there; which he did not -- in keeping with what they know of enchantments. For they know that the enchanted do not eat or have bowel movements (although they did not ask Don Quijote if he experienced the latter).
Don Quijote goes on to tell them that he even saw Dulcinea down there (after all she is suffering from an enchantment of homeliness!). This is where Sancho knows his master has lost his marbles since he himself produced this ersatz Dulcinea. She would not speak with Don Quijote himself but sent one of the two maidens that accompanied her to ask him for six dollars for a new petticoat. He only had four dollars and handed that over whereupon the maiden whirled away in a high-flying cartwheel! Montesino also tells him that he will be informed how to break all these enchantments at another time.
Sancho confronts Don Quijote about the possibility that a magician has stolen his sanity.
The translator of this tale writes that the original Arabic author, Sidi Hamid Benengeli, entered his doubts about the authenticity of this experience of Don Quijote's and mentions that rumor has it that Don Quijote (on his deathbed) admitted to concocting the Montesino Cave experience since it went so nicely with the some of the stories he had read.
Topic Tracking: Metafiction 12
They meet up with a man walking next to a jackass loaded with weapons. He explains he is in a hurry, but he'll be spending the night in the inn past the hermitage where he'll share a tale if they meet up there. They then come upon an eighteen year old lad who is on his way to join the army. Don Quijote says he is entering an honorable profession and invites him to join them for dinner at the inn. They arrive at the inn where the man and donkey (carrying the weapons) have already arrived.
Don Quijote, Sancho, the future soldier, and the innkeeper all sit down to hear. The mysterious man tells how an alderman from his village lost his donkey. Another alderman spots it in the mountains, but the donkey ran away from him, so he offers to show where he saw the animal. Not finding any sign of the donkey, they come up with the plan to make braying noises -- in the hopes that the donkey will answer them. They separate, but both are such excellent brayers that they are at first fooled into thinking that the donkey is answering, when it is a fellow alderman. Each is incredibly impressed by the other's braying skill, and even though they are sad when they finally find the donkey dead (apparently eaten by wolves), they are glad to have had this opportunity to discover each other's braying talent.
Topic Tracking: Donkey Imagery 3
They return to town with the dual news (dead donkey, beautiful braying) and eventually the news travels beyond their town. Unfortunately, the people from other towns find this too good an avenue for teasing and now bray at anyone from the aldermen's town -- anytime, anywhere they see them. And that is why he has all these weapons on the donkey, for his village is going to battle another village (six miles away from theirs), to put an end to this insult.
Another guest arrives at the inn, it is Maestro Pedro the Puppeteer and the innkeeper is delighted to see him. Maestro Pedro wears a large green patch on the left side of his face, which covers his eye and much more. The innkeeper explains to Don Quijote that Maestro Pedro is currently doing a puppet show about Melisendra and Don Gaiferos; also, that he has a prophetic monkey who whispers answers in the puppeteer's ear about people's past and current situations (never the future).
When the puppeteer returns, Sancho asks him to tell him what his wife Teresa is up to. The monkey whispers in his ear and Maestro Pedro falls down on his knees and hugging Don Quijote's hails him as the great Don Quijote and praises him to the skies. Everyone is stunned -- even Don Quijote. The puppeteer adds that Teresa is fine -- she is combing out flax and keeping herself cheerful with a pitcher of wine. Sancho is pleased with this news; but, Don Quijote is not pleased by this monkey for he suspects these powers come from the Devil (who also doesn't know the future). Sancho presses him to ask the monkey if what happened back at the cave was real, or a dream. The puppeteer reports that the monkey says that it's a bit of both and can say no more about it till Friday because he has used up all his powers. It is now time for the show.
A boy narrates the story as Maestro Pedro controls the puppets. Just as the Moors are about to catch Lady Melisendra and her husband, Don Quijote rises from the audience to lend his assistance. He slices and dices the heads off the enemy puppets (a few allies didn't fare well either) while ignoring the puppeteers anguished cries. After his victory, Don Quijote talks about how lucky they all are that he was there; while, Sancho reassures the puppeteer that Don Quijote will pay for the damage. Don Quijote is finally realizes that these are puppets he slaughtered -- not Moors -- and he quickly blames the enchanters that persecute him. He pays the puppeteer and even buys everyone dinner. In the morning everyone goes their separate ways.
Topic Tracking: Scapegoat 18
Sidi Hamid found out that the puppeteer was none other than the criminal, Ginés de Pasamonte, that Don Quijote had set free and had later stolen Sancho's donkey. He had recognized Don Quijote and Sancho as soon as he saw them.
Don Quijote and Sancho slowly make their way to Zaragoza (for the tournament). They come upon the villagers from the town being taunted by donkey braying and find them readying themselves for battle. Don Quijote tries to convince them not to pursue combat over this braying issue. Sancho jumps in and tells them how he brayed all the time as a young lad, was very good at it and no one did anything to stop him. He then proceeds to demonstrate by braying at the top of his lungs. Believing that Sancho is making fun of them; one bops the squire on the head with pole, knocking him unconscious. Don Quijote tries to retaliate, but seeing he is outnumbered and they have guns, instead chooses to gallop away. Satisfied, the villagers place the partly conscious Sancho upon his donkey who devotedly follows Rocinante. The offending village never shows up for the battle, so the offended villagers return home happy and content.
Topic Tracking: Donkey Imagery 4
After the Donkey and Sancho catch up to Don Quijote, Don Quijote inspects his squire's injury and tells him that his braying was a foolish thing to do. Sancho accuses him of leaving his squire to be beaten to death. Don Quijote calmly states that he was retreating, not running away. Sancho complains that he is in a lot of pain and Don Quijote explains that is because he was hit with the pole. Sancho thanks him for this helpful insight and complains at length about what a bad deal it is being his squire and that he should just go home. Don Quijote says that he will endure all this disrespectful speech from his squire since it appears to relieve his pain, and that he is free to leave at any time. He instructs Sancho to take what he would consider to be fare wages from the purse.
Sancho speculates out loud about what would be fair wages, constantly finding new reasons for it to be more and more. Don Quijote accuses him of wanting everything in the purse and to leave Don Quijote penniless out on the road. Angry now, he tells him to take it all -- that it would be worth it to get rid of such a bad squire! He tells Sancho that he is a donkey and will always be a donkey. Sancho feels miserable now and cries and begs Don Quijote's forgiveness. Don Quijote says he is forgiven but he better shape up and be more cheerful and patient.
Topic Tracking: Donkey Imagery 5
They reach the banks of the River Ebro and Don Quijote spots a small boat without oars tied up and decides that it is an enchanted boat that has been placed there for him in order to help someone in trouble. He explains to Sancho that this is just how it happens in the books and tells him to tie up the animals. Sancho says he will obey but feels duty-bound to tell his master that the boat probably belongs to some fishermen as this river is know for its excellent shad. They head out in the boat and Sancho starts crying after he hears his donkey braying plaintively. Don Quijote calls him a coward and tells him to enjoy the ride as they are about to pass the equatorial line.
Topic Tracking: Donkey Imagery 6
They head towards large water wheels of some flour mills which Don Quijote claims is the castle city in which lies the person who needs his help. The millworkers (with their flour-coated faces and white clothes) yell for them to stop before they get crushed by the wheels. Don Quijote knows an adversary when he sees one and responds by yelling at them to release their prisoner. Sancho is praying for deliverance. With poles, the millworkers manage to push the boat away from the wheels, but it turns over dumping out squire and madman, before going under the water wheels that smash it to little bits. The fishermen show up, take Sancho's clothes and demand payment for the boat. Don Quijote tells them he will gladly do so, but first they must release the prisoner to him. They call Don Quijote a lunatic, and he decides that this misfortune must be due to two powerful magicians at cross-purposes -- one sent a boat for him, the other dumped him in the water. He calls out his apologies to the captive, pays the fisherman and he and Sancho return to horse and donkey.
Both lord and squire are feeling right cranky. Sancho is looking for an opportunity to leave his crazy master. But the next day, they happen upon a group of people hunting with falcons and hawks, one of which is an elegant, noble, beautiful lady. Don Quijote directs Sancho to inform her that The Knight of the Lions sends her a kiss for her hands and would like to kiss them in person and serve her. Sancho tells her all this and a few things more, including Don Quijote's old name -- Knight of the Sad Face. She commends Sancho on his polished professional delivery of the message and says that she knows of them from the book That Ingenious Gentleman, Don Quijote de La Mancha. She tells Sancho that she is delighted and Don Quijote is most welcome on the estate. As Sancho goes to deliver the good news, the Duchess beckons to her husband the Duke and she tells him of their good fortune -- to meet the real live characters from the book they enjoyed! They decide to play along with whatever Don Quijote manages to cook up and keep him and Sancho around for as long as they can.
After they enter the estate Sancho's and Don Quijote experience a great deal of embarrassment as they attempt to dismount gracefully and fail miserably. Don Quijote says his squire is better at talking than squiring. Sancho speaks up, supplying proof. The duchess says that Sancho must be very wise since he is humorous and witty. "And talkative" (pg. 520) chirps Don Quijote. The Duke and Duchess invite Don Quijote to come stay at their castle as befits an outstanding knight errant as himself. The Duchess insists Sancho ride beside her so she could share his wise thoughts with her as they traveled to the castle.
Sancho's joy knows no bounds to find himself so favored by a Duchess; because he knows good food and good times come with such favor. The duke rides on ahead to give the servants instructions on how to treat their arriving guests. Upon his arrival, they dressed Don Quijote in a long red cloak, then a great crowd of servants sing out welcome and praise and sprinkle perfumed water upon him. This is exactly how knight errants are greeted in books and for the first time ever, Don Quijote feels like a real knight errant.
Sancho, suddenly remembering his donkey, asks a lady in waiting to see to his donkey's needs in the stable. She informs him that her name isDoña Rodriguez de Grijalba and that such tasks are not in her job description, and to go to hell. Sancho tells her that ladies in waiting took care of Lancelot's horse. She tells him that she's not buying this act and the only thing he'll get from her is the middle finger! Going for her Achilles' heel, Sancho suggests she is an Old Maid. Furious now, she calls him a son of a female dog and that her age is none of his garlicky breath business! The Duchess, hearing the commotion, asks what in the world is going on and Doña Rodriguez says that Sancho has called her old. She says this was very mean of Sancho and incorrect, as she is not old. Sancho says he has been misunderstood, that he only spoke to the lady because she seemed so kind-hearted and he was concerned for his donkey. The Duke promises that the donkey will of course receive the best of care -- just like Sancho. Don Quijote is not thrilled that his squire is receiving such favor. After they have been escorted to their bedroom and left alone, Don Quijote lets Sancho have it.
"Tell me, you brand-new buffoon and thoroughly ancient pest." Volume 2, Chapter 31, pg 523
He asks him what in the world he was thinking of to insult the lady in waiting? If he doesn't keep his mouth shut he is going to ruin everything because no one is going to believe a top-notch knight errant would have such an idiot squire. Sancho promises to think before he speaks.
After dressing in the rest of the clothes the Duke and Duchess had given him, Don Quijote and Sancho return to the Duke and Duchess and their priest. The Duke insists that Don Quijote sit at the head of the table and Sancho, amazed at this preferential treatment his master is receiving, finds he is suddenly inspired to tell a tale. Don Quijote starts to shake, imagining some new idiocy forthcoming from his squire's mouth; but, Sancho tells him (in front of everybody) not to worry that he has not forgotten his master's instructions to watch what he says. Don Quijote advises the Duke that it might be best to have Sancho, whom he refers to as idiot, leave. But the Duchess rushes to her pet's defense and says she will not be parted from the wise squire.
He tells a story, complete with a variety of unnecessary digressions, of a rich nobleman who insisted that a farmer sit at the head of his table. The humble farmer kept refusing until the nobleman, angered and having lost his patience, forced him to a chair, calling the farmer an idiot since the head of the table would always be where the nobleman sat -- no matter where it was. Sancho finishes of this demolishment of Don Quijote by adding that he thinks this story fits in with the conversation very nicely. The Duchess, seeing Don Quijote about to explode changes the subject to news of Dulcinea. He explains how she has been hit with the ugly wand; Sancho says she looked fine to him and very graceful.
The priest who has been flinging sarcastic comments at Sancho previously, now realizes that Don Quijote is none other than, well...Don Quijote! He angrily asks the Duke why is he leading this idiot on? He then tells Don Quijote that he is an idiot and everyone is laughing at him and to just go home and stop his nonsense. Don Quijote stands up and...
Shaking and talking quickly, Don Quijote says out of respect for the church he is controlling himself even though the priest has certainly not behaved like one of their representatives -- publicly calling someone a fool rather than attempting to offer gentle council in private. He asks who is he to claim to know anything of the world and knight errantry when he has been coddled and protected in schools and goes no farther than fifty mile radius surrounding his parish? Sancho further defends his master and there and then the Duke offers Sancho an island to govern. Sancho bends and kisses his feet as Don Quijote has instructed him to do. The priest rises, and says as long as these two are in the Duke's house, he will stay in his own.
Some servants take it upon themselves to treat Don Quijote to a made-up custom of post-dinner face washing. As they go on to do the Duke's face, Sancho whispers to the Duchess that he has never seen such a thing and would like a turn. She instructs her butler to see to Sancho's request and Sancho leaves with the butler.
Discussion ensues regarding the lovely, ugly, enchanted, real, imagined, noble, common -- take your pick!-- person or persona of Dulcinea del Toboso. Despite Don Quijote's avoidance of being pinned down on the issue of whether she is real or make-believe, they nevertheless continue to discuss her lineage and birth (and appearing as a commoner sifting wheat in the book published about Don Quijote) as if she were real.
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 28
Don Quijote then turns the conversation to the subject of Sancho and how he would not trade his by turns, funny, foolish, wise squire for anything. However, despite his many good qualities he's not sure Sancho has what it takes to be governor, although with all the advisors and help a governor gets, he might be able to pull it off and of course Don Quijote would share his own wise council with his squire. Just then, Sancho comes running out followed by the kitchen help who with dirty water and dirty towels have been attempting to wash the squire's face. Sancho says these shenanigans seem more like teasing than taking care of guests. The Duchess tells them that this is no way to treat the Governor elect and to go. She apologizes to Sancho, explaining that they are jealous of him. Don Quijote goes off to take his afternoon nap and the Duchess requests that Sancho join her and her ladies for the afternoon in a cool room.
The Duchess asks him to clear up some discrepancies in the book written about him and his lord; namely, since he had never met Dulcinea and was unable to deliver the letter, why did he lie about seeing her and seeing her in so unseemly a fashion -- sifting wheat! She goes on to add how harmful this was to Dulcinea's reputation and the reputation of good squires everywhere. Sancho checks behind the curtains to make sure no one else can hear before explaining himself.
He explains that his master, though the most sensible of men at times, is crazy; so, Sancho makes up things and stories and goes on to explain how he fooled Don Quijote into believing Dulcinea is enchanted. The Duchess asks him how she should feel about making him governor since his judgment -- he continues to work for a crazy man -- doesn't look too good. He commends her good judgment and admits that perhaps it would be wiser to not give him this post. Doña Rodriguez agrees with him and illustrates her point using the graphic example of what happened to King Rodrigo (pg. 539).
The Duchess says they will keep their promise to Sancho, and that she thinks that a magician planted a false idea in Sancho's head -- the idea that Sancho fooled his master about the homely girl on the horse; for she has found out from a reliable source that it truly was the enchanted Dulcinea! Sancho says this could be true and would make his master's story of his experiences in the Montesino's Cave more likely to be true too. They agree that this all certainly makes more sense than Sancho being the kind of squire that would lie and trick his master.
Topic Tracking: Scapegoat 19
She tells Sancho he may go and nap. Before he goes, he asks the Duchess if she can find out if his donkey is being taken care of. She says she will go see the donkey herself -- but Sancho refuses this offer. She tells Sancho that he can take his donkey with him when he becomes governor and spoil him. Sancho says his won't be the first ass sent to serve as governor.
Topic Tracking: Donkey Imagery 7
To continue the fun, the Duke and Duchess put together another adventure for Don Quijote, drawing on his experience in Montesino's Cave. They have hunting outfits made for both the lord and squire out of expensive green cloth to wear on the great game hunt they have planned. Don Quijote refuses to wear his; but Sancho is delighted by the outfit with an eye for selling it at a later date.
The day of the hunt arrives with Don Quijote preferring his armor and Sancho, his donkey to a horse of the Duke or Duchess. The Duchess, Duke and Don Quijote dismount and post themselves at a spot known for wild boar traffic. Sancho, afraid his donkey will get hurt, stays astride until not only a wild boar but an entire hunting party comes crashing through the forest. At this point he sees to his own safety and climbs a tree while the boar is gored down. As he climbs out upon one of the branches, it breaks and he falls, only to get caught on a branch and left hanging by his new outfit upside down. Don Quijote finds him with his faithful donkey by his side and unhooks him. Sancho is greatly upset by the damage done to his fine frock. He says that when he is governor he'll not be found out frolicking in the woods, but staying home and governing.
Topic Tracking: Donkey Imagery 8
At dusk, the Duke and Duchess's carefully choreographed nonsense arrives, with glowing torches, trumpets and all manner of instruments blowing and the sounds of a Moorish army producing quite a din. A messenger or herald dressed as and claiming to be the Devil rides up and announces that he is looking for Don Quijote and has a message for him to stay and wait for Montesino, who is riding with six troops of magicians and Dulcinea, to give him the instructions for breaking the Dulcinea's enchantment. The Duke points out to the Devil that Don Quijote is right in front of his nose -- shouldn't the devil be able to recognize him?
"'By God and my conscience,' responded the Devil, 'I paid no attention to him, for my mind was so busy with so many things that, for the moment, I'd almost forgotten what I was up to.'
'Clearly,' said Sancho, 'this devil must be both a good man and a good Christian, or he'd never have sworn "By God and my conscience," I begin to see that, even in Hell, there must be decent people.'" Volume 2, Chapter 34, pg. 545
Sancho and Don Quijote were a bit dumbfounded to find out that the things they had made up (Dulcinea's enchantment and the events in Montesino's Cave) to nevertheless be true! After several oxcarts carrying magicians from various books of chivalry pass by, soothing music starts to play.
A huge chariot approaches carrying a veiled nymph draped in a gross of silver veils sitting upon a throne with a black robed, and veiled figure beside her. He flashes his robe and shows a ghastly view of his rotting skin and bones -- he is none other than the figure of Death. In a slow monotone he also identifies himself as Merlin, who has heard the pitiful enchanted cries of Dulcinea and has come to instruct Don Quijote on how to break her enchantment. The cure must come through Sancho who must whip his own bare behind ("bared to the passing breeze" pg. 549) 3,300 times to undo the magic. Sancho queries, "What the hell has my ass got to do with magic?" Volume 2, Chapter 35, pg. 549
Breaking with his usual manner of speaking in proverbs, Sancho quite clearly states that he is not going to flagellate his buttocks for Dulcinea. Don Quijote, says Sancho better or Don Quijote will whip him himself and he'll double the number. Merlin explains that this must be a voluntary sacrifice or it won't work, though if Sancho tires of whipping himself after the first 1,650, he can ask for someone else to help. Also, there is no expiration date on this offer -- the squire may take his time meeting the quota. In spite of these generous terms, Sancho says no to being a sacrificial lamb and starts misquoting Jesus "...Get thee beside me, Satan." (pg. 549) and says this is a job for Don Quijote -- Dulcinea is his gal!
Topic Tracking: Scapegoat 20
The nymph, who it turns out is Dulcinea (allowed to be beautiful for the day to soften hard hearts) gives Sancho a good tongue lashing and pretty much calls him a selfish whimp to deny her this small favor. He asks her where she has learned to ask for favors; for, generally gifts and sweet talk are the usual bait (he mentions that Don Quijote leaves out these traditional niceties, too). He then reminds them that this request is being made of a governor of an island -- not a squire. The Duke points out that he is not going to send mean, cold-hearted, stubborn man to be governor. Sancho (wavering now) is told by Merlin that he must make up his mind now. Stalling, or perhaps hoping for a better offer down the road, he asks: where is Montesino since the Devil said he was supposed to be the giver of the enchantment breaking instructions? Merlin explains that the Devil is an idiot and messed up the message -- how can Montesino come when he is under enchantment in his own cave?
Sancho resigns himself and agrees to the task on the condition that he is not required to draw blood with these whippings and that gentle lashes count too. He also stipulates that Merlin must keep track of the count so that Sancho doesn't give himself any past the required number. Merlin assures him that as he administers the last required lash, Lady Dulcinea will instantly appear before him thanking him. The dawn arrives revealing a beautiful day, lovely music starts to play, Don Quijote hugs his squire and Dulcinea curtsies to him and it is time to return to the castle.
It is the Duke's steward who played Merlin and created the entire production from the night before. This being his cup of tea, he soon creates another and sets it in motion. The Duchess asks Sancho if he has begun his self-flagellation yet and what is he using to hit himself with? He tells her that he spanked himself five times. The Duchess tells him that these do not meet the terms of the agreement, and she will get him an appropriate whip -- but nothing too severe. He shows her a letter he dictated for his wife informing her of recent events, his governorship. Later, after their meal in the garden (Duke, Duchess, Don Quijote and Sancho) they hear mournful music and are visited by an official mourning party of four men, one huge and sporting a white beard. He is Trifaldin the White-Bearded squire to her lady Countess Trifaldi alias Lady Dolorida. She is waiting outside for permission to enter and wants to know if the great Don Quijote de la Mancha is here; for she has fasted and walked all the way from her kingdom to seek his help. Don Quijote comments that he wishes their priest could see this!
As they await the arrival of Countess Trifaldi, Sancho, who is worried that this lady's problem might somehow affect his governorship starts to bad-mouth all dueñas (unmarried chaperones and companions to other ladies). Sancho mentions that his barber says that dueñas are hairy and then adds:
"...but if the rice is already boiling, don't stir it up, even if it's getting sticky." Volume 2, Chapter 37, pg. 558
Not about to let Sancho have the last word, Doña Rodríguez says that squires [the male counterpart to ladies-in-waiting] have always picked on dueñas since they have nothing better to do while they hang around waiting for their masters.
An elaborate mourning party wearing elaborate costumes arrives. The Countess Trifaldi is wearing a great triangulated skirt held up by three pages (her name means three skirt). She and a dozen dueñas wear opaque veils over their faces. The Countess butters up both lord and squire in asking for a favor, referring to Don Quijote as "the Mostest of La Mancha" (pg. 560). They are won over and the Duke and Duchess are impressed with her keen wit and acting.
The Countess is a lady in waiting to Queen and widow Doña Maguncia and helped raise her daughter Antonomasia. The daughter is beautiful and sensible, but alas the dueña was not the latter for she allowed a charming cad named Don Clavijo to woo the girl and persuade them both to let him secretly marry her (he was not her social equal). When she became pregnant they decided it was time to see the court chaplain for a public, official marriage. At this point, Sancho interrupts asking her if she could hurry the story along as it is getting late.
The Countess, who has never removed her veil agrees to hurry her tale. The chaplain held up the secret marriage, which so upset the queen she died. Her first cousin, the giant Malambruno came and avenged her death by turning the daughter into a bronze monkey and the husband into a green crocodile. There they sit on the queen's tomb separated by a column stating that they will stay this way until Don Quijote of La Mancha comes and fights the giant. But Malambruno's anger did not end there. He punished The Countess and all the ladies in waiting in the court by inflicting them with beards. They now remove their veils and reveal their bearded faces.
The Countess, also known as Dolorida fainted. Sancho thinks this a terrible punishment and points out that these ladies probably don't have enough money to pay for a shave. One of the ladies agrees, explaining that they sometimes remove it themselves (using the equivalent of modern hot-wax treatment). As Don Quijote agrees to do whatever he can to help, the Countess quickly comes out of her swoon and thanks him. She explains that since the kingdom is so far (fifteen thousand miles) Don Quijote and Sancho will have to ride a magic wooden flying horse steered by a peg in its head that Malumbruno said he would send as soon as she found Don Quijote. Sancho says thanks, but no thanks, he'll stay put and help his master by whipping himself while his master attends to this giant. They all pressure Sancho to go and after Dolorida moans about how difficult it can be to be a lady in waiting -- let alone a bearded lady in waiting! -- Sancho agrees to go.
The wooden horse arrives, and Don Quijote and Sancho are instructed to cover their eyes (to avoid getting dizzy) til Clavileño neighs -- which will signal the end of the journey. The Duke finally convinces Sancho when he explains that this is the favor or bribe necessary to secure his post as governor. Don Quijote tries to get Sancho to return to their rooms and give himself five hundred lashes before the trip! They are both blindfolded and Don Quijote touches the peg on the horse's head and everyone calls good-bye, followed by comments about how high they are and how quickly they are flying. They blow bellows at them to simulate a strong wind and then light torches to simulate the imagined layer of fire in the sky. All the onlookers can hear the lord and squire's funny conversation. For the grand finale, they light the horse's tail on fire that sets off the skyrockets contained in the horse throwing Don Quijote and Sancho to the ground.
The pair are surprised to find themselves back in the garden. The hairy dueñas are gone; everyone else is lying on the ground in a faint and on a spear is a letter. It declares that the giant is satisfied and the dueñas and King Clavijo and Queen Antonomasia have all been returned to their previous states, with a reminder about Dulcinea's impending disenchantment and the squire's lashings. After everyone appears to awake, Sancho tells them that he peeked a little and then played with the goats of the Pliades (describing it all in great detail). Don Quijote doesn't understand how this is possible since they didn't go entirely through the layer of fire, which would be necessary to reach these stars. He eventually whispers to Sancho that he'll believe his sky story, if Sancho will believe his Montesino cave story.
The Duke and Duchess prepare the servants for the next practical joke. Sancho tells the Duke that after seeing the sky he would prefer a teeny tiny piece of that instead of the island. The Duke says this is not his to give, only God can give a piece of heaven; but he's got a nice round fertile island for Sancho to govern and if he does it well he'll secure himself a place in heaven. Sancho says okay, after all, he is curious to find out what it would be like to be governor. The Duke promises that he will love it -- there's nothing like being in charge.
Don Quijote points out that Sancho's ship has come in before his own and he has done nothing to deserve it, so he'd better be grateful. He then continues to give him very sage, wise advice regarding governing wisely.
Don Quijote continues to advise Sancho on matters pertaining to grooming, manners and how to dress and carry himself. Eructating (belching) in front of others is a big no-no. He also points out that Sancho must use and choose his proverbs with more care. Sancho doesn't see anything wrong with his plentiful use of proverbs and is even thinking of four at the moment that fit this situation perfectly, but he won't say them since...
"'as Sancho says, silence is golden.'
'That must be some other Sancho,' said Don Quijote." Volume 2, Chapter 43, pg. 584
Don Quijote makes further comments about Sancho's unsuitability to be governor. Sancho reminds him that this was all Don Quijote's idea! Don Quijote suddenly thinks Sancho would make an excellent governor.
Sidi Hamid explains that he included additional stories to the history of Don Quijote in Volume One because he had found it boring at times to only have the two main characters to write about. Due to the complaints of his readership, he is refraining from including such diversions from their tale in this Volume Two.
Topic Tracking: Metafiction 13
Sancho recognizes that the steward has the same face as Countess Trifaldi; Don Quijote agrees but, says they should leave the idea alone because it would muddle and confuse their minds. Just the same, Sancho says he is going to keep his eyes open. Sancho leaves for his island astride a mule, wearing a loose fitting red camel hair coat and matching hat, accompanied by a great many servants. Don Quijote sinks into a depression and retires to bed early. Outside his window, he hears the voices of two maidens, Emerencia and Altisidora and from their conversation he suspects that one of them is in love with him. He becomes anxious that he might be tempted to stray from his chaste love of Dulcinea and she will lose the prize she has won -- Don Quijote! This scene is just like some in his books of chivalry as Altisidora plays the harp and sings a song of her longing for Don Quijote. Among the many things she wants to do to him and for him is to scratch the dandruff from his itchy head and rub his feet.
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 29
Sancho and the cast of characters accompanying him arrive at the walled-in town of Baratario (or Baratario Island as it has been named to Sancho), population one thousand. The inhabitants come out gladly greeting their new governor, taking him to the cathedral and then presenting the keys to the city to him. Those who were not in on the secret were struck by their new governor's small stature, shape (quite round) and clothes. Brought to court and seated on the governor's throne they tell Sancho that tradition requires him to answer a difficult question from which the citizens can decide if the new governor is a blessing or curse. Just then Sancho finds out that they have inscribed his name on a wall with "Don" in front of it. He tells them to have that removed -- he is just Sancho Panza -- and to bring on the question.
Sancho hears three cases. One involves a tailor and a farmer; another, two old men, a loan and a cane; and the last a woman's stolen virtue and a pig seller. His rulings on these cases are astute, insightful and wise, impressing everyone. A dispatch of the fun events is sent to the Duke and Duchess.
Leaving his bedroom after a sleepless night, Don Quijote comes upon Altisidora and another girl. Altisidora feigns a faint at the sight of him. He asks the girl to place a lute in his room that night and he will do what he can to comfort the Altisidora. The Duchess sends a page to bring Sancho's letter and torn outfit to his wife Teresa. That night, true to his word, Don Quijote sings to Altisidora from his window. With a voice hoarse, yet in tune he sings of his faithful love for Dulcinea and the love-sick woman's need to keep busy with woman's work (washing, sewing, etc.) to keep herself from unseemly passions.
A belled bag of cats with bells upon their tails is lowered to his window and climb into his room where they run around extinguishing the candles. Don Quijote thinks that demons are attacking him and he chases them with his sword until one jumps up on his face and digs its claws in. His screaming brings the Duke and Duchess running to his room and the Duke pulls the cat off his face and throws it out the window. Altisidora comes in to bandage and salve his wounds and says he is being punished for his stubborn refusal to return her love and she hopes that Sancho forgets to whip himself and Dulcinea stays enchanted forever. The Duke and Duchess are upset that their joke caused so much harm to Don Quijote, who had to stay in his room five days healing and recuperating.
After leaving the courtroom, Sancho is brought to a feast at the palace. As different dishes are placed before him, a doctor Pedro Recio de Agüero taps on them with a whalebone and they are removed before Sancho has a chance to taste them. Sancho asks what is going on and the doctor informs him that it is his job to make sure that the governors only eat food that is good for them and their continued health. The doctor decides that a hundred dry crackers and some slices of quince would be suitable. Sancho finally tells him "to get the hell out of here" (pg. 603) before he beats him and every goofy doctor on the island with a club or breaks the very chair he (Sancho) is sitting on over his head. A post horn blows outside and a messenger brings a letter from the Duke informing Sancho that enemies are planning to attack the island. Also, because they fear Sancho's intelligence, four assassins are seeking his life. He advises Sancho to be on his guard and eat nothing set out before him.
Sancho says they should lock up the doctor since he is trying to kill him by starvation. He instructs his secretary to write a response to the Duke and bring him a loaf of bread and several pounds of grapes (these are unlikely to be poisoned). A page comes in, announcing that a farmer/businessman needs to see him. The farmer, who appears the soul of honesty, tells a long sob story involving his possessed son (whose face is scarred from falling into a fire once) and his future bride (who's not so bad looking considering her missing eye, pockmarks, missing teeth, blue-streaked lips and her paralysis that causes her to be bent over double). The farmer's first request is for the governor to write out a letter of recommendation to the girl's father. The second request is for three or six hundred dollars for the son's dowry. Sancho asks him if there is anything else he needs that he is not mentioning due to shyness. Angry and recognizing he is being played for a fool, Sancho -- the second time that day -- threatens to smash his chair over the farmer's head if he doesn't get out.
As Don Quijote lays in bed still bandaged up from his cat scratches, he hears someone at his door. Imagining that it is Altisidora, he speaks aloud of how the vision of Dulcinea is embossed on his heart and bowels. As the door opens, he stands up on his bed wrapped in the yellow satin bedspread, donning his nightcap and myriad bandages. In comes an ancient-looking dueña in a body length veil, wearing glasses and holding a candle. Don Quijote imagines her to be some evil sorceress and when she, in turn, lays eyes on him in his getup, drops her candle in fright and trips on her veil as she tries to run from the room.
It is only Doña Rodríguez come to ask for his help. Don Quijote is still on guard in case the Devil is using a dueña to seduce him where others had failed; although, thinking about it he recognizes the unlikelihood of this overgrown, bespectacled dueña causing him to lust! After they both express their fear of each other's possible plans of seduction, they relax.
Doña Rodríguez shares her convoluted sob story where her husband (pictured as a candidate for sainthood) was stabbed in a pique by the Duchess many years ago which weakened his resistance to illness and he died soon after leaving her to raise their daughter on her own. The daughter is not only beautiful, but graceful, and learned (and had been a virgin). The problem now is that a rich farmer's son promised this daughter marriage, so she slept with him and now he is refusing to honor his promise. The Duke refuses to do anything about it since the son's father is very generous with his money to the Duke. After hearing of the Duchess's violence, Don Quijote asks if there is something wrong with her. Doña Rodríguez confides that the Duchess is being treated for negative tumors. She has two ulcers on her legs to drain them out.
Just then, the door bursts open blowing out the candle and the duena finds herself being strangled, then beaten about her legs with something resembling a slipper. Don Quijote, keeps quiet hoping to avoid his turn, but receives a good vigorous pinching. The silent torturers leave after a half hour.
Back to Sancho, whose fast-improving communication skills and insight and wisdom since becoming governor continue to astonish those around him. He allows the doctor to stay under the condition that Sancho be allowed to eat as he chooses; and, he chooses plain peasant food. He states that he's going to get what he's entitled to on this job, but no more -- no bribes. He expects his food and his donkey's to be taken care of. The butler says Sancho has been fair and sensible as governor and no one wishes to make any trouble for him. The steward mentions how sensible and wise the governor's words are for an uneducated man -- how the tables have been turned and "jokers find that they're the ones being fooled." Volume 2, Chapter 49, pg. 615
Topic Tracking: Donkey Imagery 9
Setting out with Sancho to patrol the island are the steward, secretary, butler, chronicler and some constables and scribes. They soon hear and swords clashing and find two men who stop fighting as soon as they see the law officers. Again, Sancho makes a wise ruling on the combatant's conflict and makes several others that same night (one of which wasn't even a plant).
Back to Don Quijote. It turns out that the torturing phantoms that night in Don Quijote's room were Doña Rodríguez's nosy roommate and the Duchess. Her roommate had secretly followed her and after seeing her enter Don Quijote's room had notified the Duchess. Eavesdropping on the other side of the door they heard the Duchess's unsightly ulcers being discussed and carried out their vengence.
The Duchess sends a messenger to Teresa, Sancho's wife. Although a page had already been dispatched to Sancho's wife with his letter and outfit in Chapter 46, another one is sent out in this chapter with the letter and outfit again, along with a letter from the Duchess and a coral necklace as a gift. Teresa and her daughter are flabbergasted by the news of Sancho's governorship and the gifts and letter sent by the Duchess telling how she is working on arranging a suitable marriage for Sanchica. The priest and Samson Carrasco are dumbfounded when Teresa shows this all to them. The page confirms it all for them, though they detect from his manner that all is not as it seems.
Back to Sancho. The doctor convinces Sancho that his diet recommendations will improve his mental powers and so poor Sancho sips on water and eats a bit of fruit preserves for his breakfast. His first duty of the day is to hear court cases. This concocted case is a real doozie like the others he has heard; but again he makes a ruling that is fair and wise. The steward (who knows they will be playing a joke on him that night) rewards him by giving him a lunch that the doctor would never have approved. A letter arrives from Don Quijote mentioning he has heard that he is governing well and attributes this to a modern day miracle. Sancho dictates a letter back telling of Doctor Recio and how he expected to be pampered as a governor and instead feels he is fasting and doing penance. He wishes that he had something to send back but he has not earned any money yet; though, they make good enema tubes and bags on this island. He also asks Don Quijote to forward any letters of Teresa's, as he is dying to hear from her.
Sancho spent the rest of the afternoon drawing up laws that are still in use and referred to as "The Great Governor Sancho Panza's Legal System".
Back to Don Quijote. Having heard that he is planning to leave, Doña Rodríguez and her daughter (in mourning clothes) beg him to remember and keep his promise to help them. The Duke and Duchess, are a bit surprised because this plot twist is not of their making. The dueña suggests that hell could freeze over before the Duke lifts a finger to help. She needs Don Quijote to challenge this man who is breaking his promise to marry her daughter. Don Quijote is eager to challenge the rogue and the Duke says he will take care of all the arrangements and have it take place at the castle. Don Quijote temporarily gives up his status as nobleman so that he can enter into lawful combat. The Duchess says that the dueña and her daughter are to be treated as ladies errant in search of justice and are given a room to themselves.
The page returns with the letters from Teresa. The Duchess reads hers out loud to the Duke and others in on the joke. Teresa thanks her for the gifts and tells her that no one in town believes her that Sancho is a governor since they think he is a fool. She asks the Duchess to ask Sancho to send money so that she and her daughter can come and present themselves at court, and become people of respect. Don Quijote gives the Duke and Duchess permission to open Teresa's letter to Sancho.
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 27
She tells Sancho how excited she is about their future and how Sanchica wet her pants when she heard the news. Also, that no one in town believes it is true -- but that it is a trick -- and that Samson Carrasco plans to come and talk to him about this. She tells how three girls from their town were taken away by soldiers; but, she will not give their names in case they return (they'll need their good reputations). They all have a good laugh at these letters. A messenger brings the letter from Sancho to Don Quijote. This too is read aloud and causes them to wonder if Sancho is smarter than they think.
Exhausted from the many duties of the day and hungry, Sancho lies in bed just about to doze off when bells start ringing and people shouting to be joined by trumpets and drums. He opens the door of his room when twenty people with torches and swords tell him to take up arms since the island has been invaded. They insist that as governor he must lead them and Sancho says he'll give it his best shot. They tie two huge shields upon him, back and front, and give him a lance. He complains that he cannot move, let alone lead them into battle; but at their pleading and insistence he attempts to walk only to topple over unable to move like a "giant turtle" (pg. 641) lying on his back shell.
Unrelenting and pitiless in their quest for fun, they snuff out their torches and shout louder while walking upon the poor squire. One man stands upon the shelled Sancho and issues orders for defending the palace. Sweating and frightened and praying for death Sancho hears victory cries. They congratulate Sancho on the victory and say now it is time to check out the treasures they have won. Sancho, asks for a friend (expressing doubt that he has any in the vicinity), to give him some wine and wipe the sweat off him. They do so and remove his shields and Sancho promptly faints. They start to feel a little bad, believing that they may have gone a bit overboard. Coming to, Sancho gets dressed and slowly (he is hurting all over) makes his way out to the stables as they all follow him,
Crying, he embraces his donkey and calls him "my friend, my companion, my helper" (pg. 642) and talks about how it has been with him through thick and thin. He reminisces about the happy times he spent traveling with his donkey before he became ambitious for more. He saddles and climbs upon its back and addressing the steward, secretary, butler and doctor tells them to get out of his way he's going back to his old life where he belongs. He says he has to hurry since he needs some mustard plasters for all the broken ribs his enemies have given him last night. The doctor says he has a drink to heal him and if he'll only stay, he'll change his ways. Sancho says it is too little too late; none of this is funny anymore and he has made up his mind. The steward says they are sorry to lose him and they will miss his wit and goodness; but, he needs to give an accounting of his governorship before leaving the post. Sancho says he'll give it to the Duke, though the fact that he is leaving with nothing should prove he has been honest as governor. They agree and offer to supply him with anything he wants for the journey. Taking only some barley for his donkey and bread and cheese, Sancho leaves weeping. They are filled with admiration for him.
Topic Tracking: Donkey Imagery 10
The Duke and Duchess tell Don Quijote's they have arranged for him to meet his opponent in four days. However, since the real culprit is in Flanders, they (unknown to Don Quijote) are substituting their footman. They also tell Don Quijote that the girl is lying -- that she was never offered marriage. Don Quijote is high with anticipation and can hardly wait to show everyone his knightly skills.
As Sancho makes his way back he meets up with foreign pilgrims begging for alms. One of the pilgrims is an old neighbor of his who being a Moor had to leave the country, Ricote the Moor. Ricote recognizes Sancho first and finally seeing through the disguise, Sancho recognizes his old friend and they embrace. They invite Sancho to eat with them and as the rest fall asleep afterwards, Sancho and Ricote talk.
Ricote had left when there was only the rumor of exile to seek out which country he and his family should settle in; finally, choosing Germany for its religious freedom and live and let live attitude! He travels with these pilgrims once a year where they turn quite a profit seeking alms. On this trip, Ricote also plans to dig up a treasure he left behind near his old home. Ricote asks Sancho to come and help him and he'll give him two hundred dollars. Sancho turns him down, explaining that he has just come from being the governor of an island and isn't interested in getting involved in any intrigue or anything illegal. He asks Sancho what did he get out of being a governor and Sancho tells him he learned that he doesn't want to be one.
Sancho tells him he remembers the day Ricote's family were exiled and how Ricote's beautiful daughter wept hugging her girlfriends good-bye. Also, the rich heir, Don Pedro Gregorio (who was in love with her) was never seen again after that day. It is time to go, so they say good-bye and good luck to each other.
Though the castle is only a mile or so away, Sancho decides to turn off the road to find someplace to rest and sleep on this warm summer night only to fall into a pit between two old buildings. He and his donkey fall down twenty feet with Sancho still upon the donkey's back. The donkey whimpers a bit from the fall. Unable to see a way out, Sancho begins to think they are going to die there. He imagines that someday when his bones are found people might know they belonged to Sancho Panza since he and his donkey were inseparable. At daylight, he sees an opening in the wall and makes it larger till he and his donkey can enter a cavern through it. While walking a long way, Sancho's thoughts turn to Don Quijote and how this adventure would be just his cup of tea.
Topic Tracking: Donkey Imagery 11
Back to Don Quijote. That same morning, he sets out with Rocinante to began practicing tactical moves. Coincidences of coincidences he and his horse almost land in in the same pit but stop short of the edge. He soon hears and then recognizes Sancho's voice (who has started yelling for help again) and believes his squire to be in purgatory. Don Quijote pledges to assist in his penance and ransom to get him out. Sancho yells that he is not dead and the donkey's brays convince Don Quijote that he is dealing with a live squire rather than a dead one. He tells Sancho that he will go get help; but, before he leaves he tells Sancho that his being trapped in a pit is a punishment for his sins!
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 28
Don Quijote, returns with help and Sancho and donkey are pulled out of the pit. A student comments that it is a fit punishment for a bad governor. Sancho says he dosen't feel he deserves this punishment since he never got any money out of the deal -- only starvation and broken bones. But, that God knows the truth of the matter and Sancho is content with that.
Sancho, (after taking care of his poor donkey), presents himself to the Duke and Duchess. He tells them that he left without any profit and as to whether he ruled well or not, they should speak with those he ruled. He speaks of the sadistic doctor and the attack of the island and how he never wants to be a governor again. The Duke promises to give Sancho a less difficult post on his estate; the Duchess gives orders for him to be wined and dined after his ordeal.
Later that day the steward arrives and entertains the remorseless Duke and Duchess with the details surrounding Sancho's horrific last day as governor. They instruct their footman, Tosilos on how to win the fight without wounding Don Quijote.
A great crowd arrives that day at the battlefield, along with Doña Rodríguez and her daughter. As he enters the field, the footman takes a good look at the daughter and finds her beautiful. As the trumpet signals to attack, Don Quijote charges over while the footman stays still and calls for the master of ceremonies. Don Quijote stops, and the footman tells the master of ceremonies that he considers himself conquered and will willingly marry the young lady and then tells this to Doña Rodríguez. Tosilos removes his visor and the dueña and her daughter scream that they have been tricked. Don Quijote explains it's those evil magicians changing one face for another again. Though very angry at first, the Duke now laughs and suggests they lock up the footman for two weeks and see if he turns back into the daughter's lover. The daughter calms down and says she is thankful to the footman and will be proud to be his wife, but the Duke still locks Tosilos up.
Sancho has some regrets after reading his wife's letter that was so full of excitement and anticipation. As they are about to leave the castle, the steward gives Sancho a purse with two hundred dollars in it for their journey. This cheers Sancho greatly. Altisidora starts to sing a bitter song (on her own initiative, this has not been arranged with the Duke or Duchess) singing curses and blights forever upon Don Quijote and accusing Sancho of stealing three handkerchiefs and garters. Sancho admits to having three of her handkerchiefs but that she is way out of line on the garters. The Duke says he will have to challenge Don Quijote to combat if these items are not returned. Altisidora announces that she has had the garters on and didn't realize it. Lord and squire take their leave (with the hankies).
They meet up with a dozen men who are resting from carrying bas-relief carvings of saints for altar decorations for their church. Don Quijote asks if might have a look at them. They are glad to show the carvings and Don Quijote sees this meeting with these men as a good omen; since he has so much in common with the engraved figures who fought as saints for God, while he, a sinner, fights for humanity. Sancho refers to this as the gentlest adventure they have ever had.
They continue on and Sancho mentions that he finds it curious that Altisidora fell so head over heels in love with Don Quijote; who is far from handsome and perhaps even frightening to behold. He reminds Don Quijote that he has said that beauty is the first and strongest reason for falling in love. Don Quijote acknowledges his lack of physical beauty but points out that he is not deformed and that if a man has spiritual gifts of virtue and generosity and good breeding he can attract love.
After veering off into a wooded area, Don Quijote is suddenly entangled in nets of green cord stretched among trees. Two girls dressed in expensive elaborate shepherdess outfits appear and explain that they had set the nets up to catch birds. They are part of a group of rich, well-born folk having a bit of a holiday and dressing up as shepherds and shepherdesses. She invites them to join in their festivities. Don Quijote speaks of her extraordinary beauty, his approval of these festivities and his availability to serve her. He then mentions that his name is Don Quijote -- perhaps she has heard of him? She has and turns to her friend and exclaims how lucky they are and then realizes that the other man must be the funny Sancho. To repay their kindness Don Quijote says he is going to go stand in the middle of the nearby road for two days proclaiming that the ladies here (with the exception of Dulcinea) are the most beautiful in the world and challenge anyone who disagrees with him. Very loudly, Sancho asks is there anyone in the world who will proclaim his master a lunatic?
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 29
After shouting out his proclamation several times, a crowd of men on horses carrying spears come charging down the road. One of the men curses and yells for them to get out of the road or they'll be run over by bulls. Don Quijote says he is not afraid and the man better admit that this proclamation is true or else! The reply comes in the form of the cowhands, bulls and oxen running right over Don Quijote, Rocinante, Sancho and donkey. Terribly injured, they all manage to get to their feet and Don Quijote chases after the cowhand yelling at him to stop. Sancho catches up with his master and they leave, not stopping to say good-bye to their new friends.
Squire and lord wash and rest by a stream. Don Quijote tries to get Sancho to whip himself three hundred times while he himself rests. Sancho promises he will keep his promise but not just now. After their nap, they travel a bit and then reach an inn. As Sancho and Don Quijote, along with the innkeeper eat in their room they overhear a conversation from the room next door. Someone is asking a Don Gerónimo to read to them from Don Quijote de La Mancha: The Second Part. Don Quijote jumps up and hears the man reply that it doesn't compare with the first book. The other gentleman, Don Juan, says this is true and he finds it upsetting that (in the second book) Don Quijote is no longer in love with Dulcinea. Don Quijote screams through the wall that this is a lie. Upon learning that it is Don Quijote himself speaking to them, the two men rush into the room. Don Gerónimo hands him the book to look at; Don Quijote reads through several pages and comments on the author's bad judgment in bad-mouthing Miguel de Cervantes. He also points out that there are grammatical errors and Sancho's wife has the wrong name. At this point, Sancho pipes up and they tell him that he is depicted as a glutton and a fool in the second book.
Topic Tracking: Metafiction 14
They gentlemen invite Don Quijote to dine with them, leaving Sancho and the innkeeper to their preferred stew. They ask Don Quijote how is Dulcinea faring these days; specifically asking after her virginity or has she had a child? Don Quijote informs them that she is still a virgin, but has been transformed into a common peasant by enchanters. He fills them in on the events concerning Montesino's cave, Merlin's appearance in the woods and Sancho's required whippings. The two men are struck by the strange union DQ's intelligence and madness make. After his stew, Sancho joins them and learns that he is depicted as a drunk in this second book. Don Quijote finds out that this author Avellaneda of the second part of this history has lied about him already competing at the Zaragoza tournaments to which he is headed. Don Quijote decides to skip the Zaragoza tournaments and compete at some in Barcelona instead -- to prove this author is a liar!
Topic Tracking: Metafiction 15
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 30
One night they settle themselves against tree trunks to sleep. While Sancho falls quickly to sleep, Don Quijote remains wakeful and restless. He soon becomes angry about the small number (five hundred) of lashes that Sancho has given himself, and decides to administer some himself right now. He sees no difference between Sancho receiving lashes of his own free will and Sancho receiving lashes against his will.
Topic Tracking: Grandiosity 30
After removing Rocinante's reins, he begins to loosen Sancho's belt, which wakes the squire who asks for information regarding this unusual nighttime phenomenon. Don Quijote informs Sancho of his plans for the squire's buttocks -- namely, two thousand or more overdue lashes! Sancho reminds Don Quijote that he must receive these voluntarily and he has no intention of volunteering this night for a good thrashing. Undeterred, Don Quijote still tries to open his squire's belt, whereupon Sancho stands up and manages to knock down and then pin his lord upon the ground. Don Quijote is shocked by his squire's disrespect to his lord! Sancho replies that he is his own lord, and if Don Quijote does not swear that he will keep his hands to himself, Sancho will kill him. Don Quijote quickly swore in the name of Dulcinea to touch not the squire and leave Sancho in charge of the time and place of his whippings.
As Sancho settles himself under another tree he feels something touching his head -- it is shoed feet. It turns out that the trees are full of hanged men which Don Quijote rightly guesses means they are near Barcelona; as it is customary there to hang criminals bunches at a time. Dawn brings a Technicolor view of this sight, along with forty bandits with pulses surrounding them. Totally defenseless (his lance against the tree) Don Quijote cannot defend them. The bandits take anything of value from the donkey's luggage, but before they can search Sancho (who is wearing the money belt with the gold coins), their leader shows up and tells them to wait. Spotting Don Quijote's woebegone expression he tells him to cheer up because he has been captures by Rocque Guinart the empathetic bandit. Don Quijote recognizes the name (a genuine historical figure) and says he is ashamed that they caught him with his guard down; that he was not alert and ready as a knight errant should be. If he had been prepared they would not have found the famous Don Quijote so easy to capture! Guinart quickly catches on that Don Quijote's mind is not all it should be and is delighted to be in the presence of this legend; that until now he thought was a mere fable. He tells Don Quijote to relax, that this incident could turn out well for the knight.
Just then, a twenty year old female dressed as a male with a variety of weapons rides up begging for Rocque's help. She is Claudia Jerónima, daughter of his friend Simon Forte. She was secretly engaged to Don Vincente Torrelas, the son of their mutual enemy -- Don Clauquel Torrelas. She heard yesterday that he meant to marry someone else this morning. Dressing as they see her now she rode, caught up with Don Vincent and shot him several times. She now needs Rocque to smuggle her to relatives in France and protect her father from the Torrelas family's revenge. Rocque calmly suggests they find out if the guy is really dead first. Ignoring Don Quijote's offers of assistance, he orders his men to return Sancho's belongings and to wait for his return. They find Don Vincente near death. It turns out that there is no truth to the rumor she heard of his marriage. He is not angry with her and says he feels lucky to be able to die in her arms and asks her to squeeze his hand if she accepts him as her husband. She does, she faints, he dies. Coming to, she howls, tears out her hair and scratches her face with her fingernails and then decides to enter a convent.
Rocque returns to his men to find Don Quijote on his high horse trying to persuade them to leave this way of life. He asks Sancho if his items were returned to him and Sancho tells him all but three very valuable handkerchiefs. One of the men gives them back, though he does not find them as valuable as Don Quijote and his squire. Rocque and the bandits divvy up their latest stolen goods to everyone's satisfaction. The lookout spots a traveling party and men are dispatched to capture and bring them back. Don Quijote tries to convert Rocque over to knight errantry after he hears him admit that revenge is what first got him started on the life of a bandit. Waxing eloquent, he expresses how he now he fights for vengance for the world (a kind of a bandit errantry). His squires (that is what he calls them) return with the traveling party. Rocque asks who they are, their destination and cash on hand. Given this information, he finds he has no bone to pick with these particular people and asks for a very small portion of their money as a donation to keep his men happy. In return he will issue them a letter of safe conduct so that other members of his band will not bother them. He even gives ten dollars to the set of pilgrims headed for Rome and puts aside ten for Sancho.
One of his men complains about Rocque giving away their money and Rocque kills him by bringing his sword down through the man's head. He writes another letter to a friend in Barcelona informing him of the imminent arrival of Don Quijote and dispatches one of his men to deliver it.
Don Quijote and Sancho visit with Rocque and his men for three more days and witness their constant need to keep moving, hiding, and watching to avoid arrest. Don Quijote cannot understand why anyone would choose this lifestyle! On the fourth day, Rocque and some of his men escort him and Sancho to the outskirts of Barcelona, arriving at night. Rocque hugs Don Quijote and Sancho good-bye and gives Sancho the promised the dollars. In full armor and upon his horse Don Quijote waits for the sun to rise before entering the city. Dawn brings with it the sound of flutes and drums and bells and a view of the sea that quite amazes lord and squire as they had never seen it before this day. They stand awed at the sight and sound of all the galley ships and their booming cannons.
Many men on horses and in uniform ride up to Don Quijote and bid him an eloquent welcome -- heralding him as the bright star of knight errantry. They specify that they are welcoming the real Don Quijote of Volume One, not the ersatz Don Quijote of the second volume of published lies. They introduce themselves as friends of Rocque Guinart and invite him to come with them. Don Quijote assents gladly and eloquently; they surround and escort him into the city accompanied by drums and flutes.
Topic Tracking: Metafiction 16
As they are entering the city's gates, two youngsters manage to stuff prickly brambles under the tails of both horse and donkey resulting in squire and lord being pitched to the ground. This was no set-up but unlucky luck and after removing the offending items from the rears of their mounts, they go on to their guide's impressive house.
Their guide and host was a rich man named Don Antonio Moreno. Although keen to enjoy the full measure of DQ's madness, his sense of humor drew the line at causing the knight errant any pain of injury. He invites some of his friends to dine with them. They ask Sancho if it is true that he carries leftovers like meatballs and tarts in his pockets. He denies this, and Don Quijote backs him up -- saying although an eager eater, Sancho is very clean.
After the meal, Don Antonio takes Don Quijote to a room to show him a secret bronze bust head that can answer any question spoken in its ear except on Fridays. It happens to be Friday, so he tells Don Quijote to think of a question to ask the head tomorrow. That afternoon he takes Don Quijote out for a street exhibition (Don Quijote being the exhibition) wearing a yellow wool cassock and a placard on his back on which it was written in bold print "This is Don Quijote de la Mancha". As they pass by people read it out loud; Don Quijote thinking all these people recognize him. A Castillian, who was very familiar with Don Quijote's history and antics, tells him to stop being nuts and go home.
Don Antonio's wife gives a dancing party and two ladies keep begging Don Quijote for dances till completely exhausted he has to be carried to bed. The next day, they visit the mysterious talking head. Don Quijote asks if the events in Montesino's cave were real or a dream and if Dulcinea would ever be set free from her enchantment. The head says the events were both and that Sancho's whipping would take a long time but eventually Dulcinea would be set free. It is all a parlor trick.
An impromptu tournament is being arranged just for Don Quijote. Don Quijote visits a shop that prints books and the subject of translating books from their original language is discussed. He finds them proofreading the ersatz sequel to the first volume of Don Quijote and he expresses surprise that it is still in print since he'd heard they'd all been burned!
Topic Tracking: Metafiction 17
Don Antonio arranges for Don Quijote and Sancho to tour a galley ship, but they get more than they bargain for. It starts off well-enough with the crew yelling hoo-hoos (a traditional yell for important guests) at Don Quijote. But after the galley slaves remove their shirts to row, they pick up poor Sancho and pass him from one set of hands to another. Don Quijote informs them that if anyone tries this with him he'll kill them and places his hand on his sword. Sancho is greatly upset by the lashing of the galley slave's shoulders and wonders what crimes they have committed to deserve this. Don Quijote suggests that Sancho remove his shirt and join them; working off some of the lashings to deliver Dulcinea; who knows, perhaps Merlin will count these lashings as equal to ten of Sancho's!
Another galley is sighted and tries to flee from this quick flagship but can not. The flagship pulls alongside telling them to surrender and a group of drunken Turks from the galley shoot and kill two of the flagship's best officers. Finally captured, the unknown galley's captain is about to be hung. The governor, who has come aboard, is influenced by his handsomeness and nice manner and delays the hanging long enough to discover that the captain claims to be a Christian woman. She asks them to hold off hanging her till she has a chance to tell her life story!
It turns out that she is Anna Félix the daughter of Sancho's friend (the Moor) Ricote. Because of her beauty, she caught the king of Barbaria's eye and he insisted she return to Spain and bring back her father's treasure. The king had also heard of Don Gregorio and that he was beautiful and asked her if she knew him. In love with Gregorio herself, and knowing how hot the Turks are for handsome boys, she told the king that Gregorio was really a woman. She helped Gregoria transform himself into a girl. The king is impressed and decides to make a gift of "her" to the Sultan and sends Gregorio to work at the house of a well-to-do Moorish woman till arrangements can be made.
It is quite a story and no sooner do they remove the rope from her neck, than her father Ricote the Moor dressed as a pilgrim (he had gotten on with the governor), plunges at her feet crying over his long lost daughter. Arrangements are made with a Christian Spanish Renegade on board the ship (whom Anna Félix trusts) to go and rescue Gregorio before his virtue is irreconcilably ruined.
Everyone except Don Quijote are happy because he wanted to rescue Gregorio. Sancho reminds him that the fact they have no ship might have been a handicap in getting Gregorio back to Spain. Don Quijote sees this as an irrelevant detail. A few days later as Don Quijote is taking a walk to the seashore with Rocinante he meets up with another knight who is wearing full armor like himself. He identifies himself as the Knight of the White Moon and he has come to challenge Don Quijote to combat unless Don Quijote admits that the Knight of the White Moon's lady is a better-looking babe than Dulcinea. His terms are that Don Quijote return home for a year and lay down his sword, living quietly if the Knight of the White Moon wins. If he loses, he will give Don Quijote his sword, his horse and even his life if Don Quijote wishes. Don Quijote finds this knights arrogance astonishing!
Word travels incredibly fast in Barcelona and soon the governor and Don Antonio and a host of others join them at the seaside. The governor stands between them and asks why do they wish to battle. After checking with Don Antonio, who tells the governor that this is no joke of his, the governor gives them permission to fight believing it must be the joke of someone surely! Don Quijote and the other knight charge at the same time but the other horse is far stronger and faster than Rocinante leaving Don Quijote at a disadvantage. The Knight of the White Moon avoids using his spear but savagely knocks Don Quijote and Rocinante to the ground. Placing the point of his lance on Don Quijote's visor he demands that Don Quijote agree to the terms of his challenge. Don Quijote tells him to go ahead and kill him because he is not going to say some other woman is more beautiful than his Dulcinea. The White Moon Knight says he'll leave Dulcinea's beauty uncontested if Don Quijote goes into retirement. Don Quijote agrees to honor this term, and the knight rides away. The governor tells Don Antonio to follow him and find out his identity.
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 31
Rocinante is in shock and cannot move. Don Quijote is completely devastated. Sancho for once is speechless, so grieved is he.
Don Antonio follows the White Moon knight to an inn. It is Samson Carrasco and he explains to Don Antonio that he contrived this whole affair to get Don Quijote to come home. Although unhappy about losing his live entertainment, Don Antonio agrees to keep Samson's true identity from Don Quijote and to provide any help he needs. Don Quijote stays in bed for six days deeply depressed. Sancho tries to cheer him up by reminding him that he came out of this adventure with no broken bones. Also, Sancho stands to lose more by their returning home since it means he will never be a count! Don Quijote tells him he only has to stay home for a year, after that he can take up knight errantry again and perhaps get himself that kingdom after all.
Don Gregorio, all of seventeen years, has been rescued. The renegade recommits his life to the church. Don Antonio says he will try to find a way for Ricote and his daughter to stay in Spain. Don Quijote and Sancho take their leave, with Sancho walking as his donkey is carrying all Don Quijote's armor and weapons.
Topic Tracking: Donkey Imagery 12
As they travel, Don Quijote has good things to say about Sancho and honest things to say about himself:
"[S]o I have had to pay in spades for my vanity, because I ought to have understood that my feeble Rocinante could never withstand a horse so immensely strong as the Knight of the White Moon's." Volume 2, Chapter 66, pg. 709
Sancho suggests they place the armor in a tree like a man being hanged because there is absolutely no way he is going to make this journey on foot. Don Quijote warms to the idea thinking of it as a monument to himself and suggests carving a warning into the tree that no one should remove the armor unless they wish to fight Don Quijote. Sancho says if they didn't need her for the journey they could hang Rocinante up there too. Angered, Don Quijote says that is not a fit reward for her service and now he's not going to hang the armor up either. Sancho says Don Quijote is right:
"[A]nd since in all this the fault is yours, your grace, you ought to punish yourself, instead of venting your anger on this armor...and you shouldn't blame it on Rocinante's meek, mild ways, or even on the softness of my feet." Volume 2, Chapter 66, pg. 710
Topic Tracking: Scapegoat 21
After several days they pass through a village where the villagers ask Don Quijote and Sancho (since they are outsiders, they'll be unbiased) to decide on some particulars involving a race between a fat man and a thin man. Sancho asks to be allowed to handle this, as this was his forte as governor. Feeling a bit muddled in the head, Don Quijote readily agrees. Sancho quickly finds the flaw in the people's reasoning, offers a fair alternative and everyone is impressed and believes Sancho could easily be a magistrate if he went to college.
They run into Tosilos, the footman. He tells Don Quijote how happy his master will be to find Don Quijote returning to the castle. Don Quijote asks Tosilos who he is since he doesn't recognize him. Tosilos explains that he is the one who conceded the battle and offered to marry Doña Rodriguez's daughter. Don Quijote is confused and astonished that he has not transformed back into his true identity and will not be convinced that he was always the footman. Tosilos tells them that the Duke gave him a hundred lashes for his disobedience, the daughter is in a nunnery and Doña Rodríguez has gone back to Castille. He offers to share his cheese and wine with them both. Sancho accepts gladly, but Don Quijote says he'll ride slowly ahead and Sancho can catch up after he is done stuffing his face with an apparition.
Sancho rejoins Don Quijote and finds him under a tree where he has been busy nursing bitterness and disappointment. Don Quijote asks if Tosilos gave Sancho any news regarding the lovesick Altisidora -- is she still pining for him? Sancho says they spoke of other matters. Don Quijote brings up Sancho's unfinished whippings and how he'd like to see the squire's buttocks eaten by wolves. Sancho confesses he still can not make any connection between his buttocks and someone's disenchantment; nevertheless, he will keep his word but on his schedule.
As they pass the spot of their unlucky adventure with the bulls, Don Quijote muses on the idea of the young folks they had met there pretending to be shepherds. He tells Sancho that this is what they should do when they get back home. He sketches out a lovely idyllic existence and Sancho climbs right on board even suggesting that Carrasco, the Barber and the Priest might want to join them. Sancho suddenly starts to worry about his daughter's virtue being in danger in the hills and he spits out half a dozen proverbs. As Don Quijote complains about Sancho's overuse and abuse of these phrases, he ushers in a few of his own. Sancho points this out saying:
"...that what applies here is the old saying about the pot calling the kettle black." Volume 2, Chapter 67, pg. 716
They sleep outside that night. Don Quijote awakes after a short nap and wakes up Sancho and complains about how Sancho does not do his fair share of empathetic suffering with Don Quijote as squires are supposed to do -- properly mirroring their masters physical and emotional states. He tells him to get out there and whip his butt a bit and then come back and they'll sing some pastoral shepherd ditties. Sancho calmly explains to his lord that not having taken holy orders he is not in the habit, nor has the ability to start beating himself in the middle of the night or break out in song after enduring pain. And, if he doesn't get off his case about it he is never going to administer them -- ever! Don Quijote tries to give Sancho a guilt trip by naming all the good things he has done for him and quoting a passage about light following darkness from the Bible. Sancho tells him that he has no idea what his master is talking about that he only knows that when he is asleep he is at peace.
"--and bless the man who invented sleep, a cloak to cover over all human thought, food that drives away hunger, water that banishes thirst, fire that heats up cold, chill that moderates passion and, finally universal currency with which all things can be bought, weight and balance that brings the shepherd and the king, the fool and the wise, to the same level." Volume 2, Chapter 68, pg. 717
Sancho's foray into eloquent, poetic speech calms his master who in praising him uses a proverb. They are startled by a tremendous noise and before they know what is happening they are run over by a huge herd of pigs, leaving men, animals, saddlebags and armor laid out flat on the ground. Don Quijote sees this as his own personal punishment from heaven; Sancho wonders why he is in on it.
Traveling the next day fifteen men with lances and shields surround Don Quijote and gesture to keep quiet or die and take Sancho prisoner too. They finally arrive at their destination -- the Duke's castle! Don Quijote credits his recent failure to this sudden dramatic change of treatment from the royal duo.
They are carried to a courtyard lit up as bright as day with candles. On a tomb, with a canopy of black velvet lies Altisidora -- apparently dead. Two kingly figures (which are later identified as the legendary figures of Minos and Rhadamanthus -- judges in hell) are upon a platform. Don Quijote and Sancho are placed in chairs next to the platform, and the Duke and Duchess enter, acknowledge the pair and sit next to the kings. Sancho is outfitted in a robe decorated with flames and cone-shaped hat with a demon motif and is again told to keep his mouth shut. A young man starts playing a harp and sings ofAltisidora's death and Don Quijote's cruelty, and the magic of this court. One of the kings announces that Sancho Panza will bring Altisidora back to life by experiencing her suffering in the form of twenty-five slaps in the face, twelve pinches and six pricks with a pin on his arms and back.
Sancho then tells them to all go to hell, he's sick of these games and they should go find someone else to play with! One of the kings tells him to settle down or die because this will be done. Six dueñas approach to carry out this task and Sancho says he is definitely not going to put up with this now. He'll put up with a lot to please the Duke and Duchess but he'll go to hell before he'll let dueñas touch him! Don Quijote tells him to calm down, that it's quite an honor that by becoming a martyr he can disenchant and even raise the dead!
Sancho allows the slaps and pinching but as they begin to stick him with the pins he takes a torch and gives chase to his torturers. But lo and behold Altisidora stirs and the king tells Sancho the torture is at an end. Don Quijote has different ideas. Getting on his knees he begs Sancho to whip himself right here, right now while he is so full of power. Sancho says that sounds like fun and while we're at it why not tie a big rock around my neck and drown me? After all:
"...that wouldn't be so bad, if I have to cure the world's problems by being everybody's scapegoat." Volume 2, Chapter 69, pg. 724
Topic Tracking: Scapegoat 22
Altisidora then scorns Don Quijote, thanks Sancho and to show her gratitude she asks him to accept six of her used but clean slips with which he could use to make some new shirts. Sancho kneels and kisses her hands. He asks the Duke and Duchess if he could keep the cloak and hat as a souvenir.
Sidi Hamid explains that the Duke and Duchess were able to pull off their last prank because they had asked Samson Carrasco (who had stopped at their castle looking for Don Quijote and Sancho) to stop by on his way back and let them know if he was successful. Sidi Hamid admits that he is hard pressed to decide who is nuttier -- this prank-addicted duo or Don Quijote?
Don Quijote and Sancho are ensconced in their old room in the castle when Altisidora comes to call. Don Quijote hides under his covers from this very real, very angry woman. She harangues him again about her suffering and his hard-heartedness.
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 32
Sancho asks her to tell them what hell was like. She says she must not have been fully dead because she was not fully in hell but at a gate to hell. She saw a dozen devils hitting books blown up with hot air and garbage (making them sort of ball shaped) around with rackets of fire. After the book was hit, it disappeared. They hit a shiny, new one and instead of disappearing the pages got knocked out of the binding onto the floor. It was the ersatz second volume to Don Quijote! One of the devil's recognized it and said it was so bloody awful he couldn't write a worse book if he tried! He told the another devil to throw it down into the deepest part of Hell so he wouldn't have to see it again.
Topic Tracking: Metafiction 18
Altisidora begins to complain again about Don Quijote, but he interrupts her and tells her he is grateful for her regard but he cannot possibly return it since his heart belongs to Dulcinea. He advises her to behave more modestly in light of this information. She becomes well and truly angry and calls him a "dried-up old fish" (pg. 728) and that everything last night was a fake -- she would never die over the likes of him! Sancho says now this is believable. The singer, the Duke and Duchess join them in the room. Don Quijote advises them to keep this young lady busy making lace in order to keep her out of trouble and from:
"...conjuring up images of anyone she thinks she loves." Volume 2, Chapter 70, pg. 729
Topic Tracking: Idealized Women 33
Altisidora says that won't be necessary since his cruelty will drive him out of her heart. She asks to leave the room so she doesn't have to see his ugly mug and feigns drying tears with a handkerchief. Don Quijote and Sancho leave the castle that afternoon.
Sancho tells Don Quijote he is very disappointed that Altisidora didn't keep her promise to give him her six slips. He points out that even when a patient dies, a doctor still expects to get paid and Sancho suffers and sheds blood but gets nothing! From here on in, he is going to ask for money up front before he works a cure on anyone. Don Quijote agrees with him and says he will gladly pay him for the lashes for Dulcinea (though he hopes that doesn't interfere with the rules of the disenchantment). This thought cheers Sancho greatly and he asks Don Quijote how much he's willing to pay for each lash. Don Quijote, tells him to count what money he has (Sancho is the money holder) and figure out what Don Quijote can afford. Sancho decides twenty-five cents a lash to be fair; which will earn him eight hundred and twenty-five dollars. Don Quijote tells him if he does it soon -- he'll throw in another hundred dollars.
Sancho gets started that evening. Standing amid a grove of trees he actually gives himself eight lashes. Sancho calls out that he should have charged more and Don Quijote says he'll give him double. After that, Sancho switches to thrashing the trees and groaning miserably to aid in the deception. After a while, afraid that Sancho might kill himself before the goal is reached, he asks Sancho to stop since he has already done well over a thousand. Sancho says he'd like to get another thousand done tonight. Don Quijote comments on how Sancho is certainly in the mood tonight and allows him to go on till Sancho lets out such a yelp and hits the tree so loudly that Don Quijote comes running and says enough is enough -- for this evening. Sancho asks him to throw his cloak over his back and they call it a day.
A new guest arrives at the inn and Don Quijote overhears that his name is Don Alvaro Tarfe. Don Quijote recognizes that it is the name of a character from the bad sequel by Avellaneda. They speak with him and he tells how he accompanied Don Quijote to the tournament in Zaragoza and also how he didn't find Sancho to be witty at all, contrary to his reputation. Sancho tells him that the real Sancho stands before him, as does the real Don Quijote and the man believes him due to the squire's evident wit. They ask and he agrees to put it in writing that he has only first met them today and that they are not, nor do they resemble the persons whom he previously had been led to believe were Don Quijote and Sancho. As luck would have it, a magistrate and notary enter the inn and they do just that.
Over the next few evenings Sancho completes his required whippings and Don Quijote starts looking carefully at every girl they pass to see if she is Dulcinea (Merlin said she was supposed to appear the second Sancho whipped himself with the last lash). Riding up a slope they can now see a view of their village and Sancho dramatically addresses his "homeland" (pg. 737) telling it to welcome home it's son Sancho, and its son Don Quijote who although defeated in battle:
"[He] has won the battle with himself, and that according to what he's told me, is the greatest victory anyone could want." Volume 2, Chapter 72, pg. 737
Don Quijote tells Sancho to knock it off; they've got to get home and start making their plans for their new lives as shepherds.
As they enter the village Don Quijote starts to see and hear omens in the activities of the villagers. He interprets them to mean that he will never see Dulcinea. Sancho points out that these things could just as easily be interpreted as good signs; but, regardless the church teaches that only idiots believe in these things. Sancho's donkey arrived in town transformed wearing Sancho's flame covered cloak (with the armor and weapons underneath) and the cone-shaped hat upon his head. Two little boys comment on how the donkey's come back all dressed up and DQ's horse is skinnier than when he went away.
Topic Tracking: Donkey Imagery 13
The priest and Carrasco spot Don Quijote and Sancho and hurry over to embrace them. By the time Don Quijote reaches his front door word has reached his housekeeper and niece and Sancho's wife Teresa and his daughter Sanchica that they are back in town and they are waiting by the front door. Teresa, who's a mess and not quite dressed comments that Sancho looks a little grubby for someone who has recently been governor. He tells her to shut up; after all. he has brought home money. She changes her tune to a sweeter one and they set out for their home.
Don Quijote quickly sequesters himself in his room with Carrasco and the priest. He fills them in on recent events and tells of his current plans to become a shepherd and invites them to join him. Though a bit stunned at this turn of events they agree to join him so he'll remain home. They have a good time discussing their nicknames, and those of the necessary shepherdesses. They leave Don Quijote in the care of his niece and housekeeper who do a reality rain dance on his parade and he tells them he knows what he's doing and could they help him to bed because he is feeling poorly at the moment.
Don Quijote comes down with a fever and for six days Sancho stays by his side while all his friends including the barber visit him. Carrasco tries to cheer him with news of the sheep dogs he has bought for their new occupation. The doctor tells them all that Don Quijote may well be dying from sorrow. Don Quijote requests that they all leave the room while he sleeps a while. After six hours he wakes up shouting praises to God for his mercy. He tells his niece:
"I am in my right mind, now, clear-headed and free of the murky darkness of ignorance, brought upon me by my continual, bitter reading of those abominable books of chivalry." Volume 2, Chapter 74, pg. 742
The priest, Carrasco and Master Nicolás arrive and he tells them he is Alonso Quijano and an enemy of Amadís of Gaul. They initially fear that he has entered some new stage of madness. Carrasco tells him that they have discovered that Dulcinea is free from the enchantment. Don Quijote tells them to fetch a scribe while he makes his confession to the priest. They return with a scribe and Sancho who weeps, along with the niece and housekeeper. Don Quijote starts dictating his last will and testament. Sancho begs him not to die; they'll go out and about and do their shepherding and maybe find Dulcinea hiding behind some bushes.
Don Quijote tells them again that he is no longer the insane Don Quijote de la Mancha, but the sane and previously know as good, Alonso Quijano. He continues dictating his will leaving most everything he possesses to his niece on the condition that her future husband has no knowledge of books of chivalry. He even asks them to extend his apologies to the man who wrote the ridiculous book The Second Part of the Exploits of Don Quijote de La Mancha because he feels it is his fault that the man ever wrote at all.
After several days drifting in and out of consciousness, Don Quijote dies. The priest asks the scribe to witness this to prevent any other writers from raising him from the dead and producing more sequels. Not as forgiving as Don Quijote, Sidi Hamid finishes this manuscript, his second volume of Don Quijote, with insults to Avellaneda warning him to let his Don Quijote rest in peace. Sidi Hamid is happy and satisfied that he has successfully met his goal of making people feel nothing but disdain for ridiculous books of chivalry.
Topic Tracking: Metafiction 19