Spring Chicken: We’ve tried our best not to be cranky (honest!) and to embrace the sunny weather with all the bobble-headed enthusiasm of our yogic/bulimic/solipsistic sisters … but … it … just … isn’t … working …. Between premature flip-flops and postnatal ninnies barging down Broadway with their triple-wide strollers, we’re about ready to hang it up …. Harumph! But we’ll do our best to rejoice as the city crawls toward the official kickoff of “the season”—when summer becomes a verb (full-body eye-roll) …. Fortunately for all those who care about literature, model/actress/dancer/future stripper Carmen Electra has written a book, How to Be Sexy. Ms. Electra will be in the bodacious flesh at the Bryant Park Reading Room at lunchtime. “Everyone has what it takes to be sexy. Let go of those inhibitions and insecurities and allow Carmen Electra to take you from ho-hum to hot,” says the book’s description. Thanks, but we’re gonna stick with ho-hum №…. Moving on—’cause if ya don’t keep movin’, that big sweaty hairy fat guy, who’s clearly been waiting all winter for this moment when he can saunter down the street without his shirt on, is gonna mow ya down—Antony Edward Zito attempts to paint 100 portraits from 100 live models during the next 24 hours. Why, you ask? “The marathon will be filmed as part of a documentary currently being created about the artist,” a press rep told us. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to summer 2007.
[Carmen Electra book signing, Bryant Park Reading Room, 12:30 p.m. to 1:45 p.m., www.bryantpark.org; New York City Portrait Marathon, GalleryBar, 120 Orchard Street, www.gallerybarnyc.com.]
