CommenTerry, May 29th, 2007
In time past, people became rich by becoming entrepreneurs, making important discoveries, inventing useful gadgets, making significant contributions to the good of society, or simply working hard and saving. But in 21st century America, it's no longer a requirement to earn one's way to wealth, as people have found short cuts to big profits and more dubious methods of acquiring monetary gain. Here are just a few of today's alternative paths to riches:
(1) Get your feelings hurt by something someone said. Then sue them and/or write a book about your horrifying experience of humiliation and degradation.
(2) Do something extremely stupid that causes you injury or serious illness, but not death. Then sue whoever allowed you to do it or didn't come to your aid quickly enough.
(3) Be the spouse, child, parent, or sibling of someone who did something extremely stupid and didn't survive it. Then sue whoever allowed your loved one to do it or didn't come to their aid quickly enough.
(4) Be a victim of some kind of high-profile calamity (natural or manmade) and survive it. First, have the government compensate you handsomely for your pain and suffering. Then sue whomever was responsible for it, allowed it to happen, and/or did not provide relief quickly enough.
(5) Be the spouse, child, parent, or sibling of a victim of some kind of high-profile calamity (natural or manmade) who didn't survive it. First, have the government compensate you handsomely for the loss of your loved one. Then sue whomever was responsible for it, allowed it to happen, and/or did not provide relief quickly enough.
(6) Be a marginally talented singer and get discovered by some TV "talent search" show and get signed to a recording contract.
(7) Be a marginally talented baseball, football, or basketball player. Sign a Major League, NFL, or NBA contract and remain on a team's roster (you don't even have to play) for at least one year.
(8) Be lucky enough to be born to wealthy parents who will be willing to lavish all of their riches upon you for nothing more than the simple fact that you are their son or daughter.
(9) Become a victim of some great injustice (real or imaginary). Then demand justice in the form of financial compensation from the government and whomever propagated it (if they are not one in the same).
(10) Be the spouse, child, parent, or sibling of a deceased victim of some great injustice (real or imaginary). Then demand justice on behalf of your loved one in the form of financial compensation (for yourself) from the government and whomever propagated it (if they are not one in the same).
(11) Claim you have some kind of supernatural power and con enough people into believing you and handing you huge sums of money to fool them over and over again.
(12) Sell the public on some kind of fad diet, snake oil health product, step-by-step plan to overcome an addiction, or easy path to wealth.
(13) Become a TV preacher and/or pastor of a mega-church.
(14) Marry some rich old man or woman and then hang around long enough until he or she dies and leaves you all their money.
(15) Be the victim of some wealthy person's mistake, carelessness, or recklessness and then sue them for everything they have.
(16) Win the Mega Millions or Power Ball lottery.
