The Long Dark Tea-time of the Soul Test | Final Test - Easy

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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What does Odin have to promise Woodshead to stay there?
(a) Valhalla.
(b) His son, Thor.
(c) His god-like powers.
(d) His entire estate.

2. What befalls Toe Rag and the green-eyed monster?
(a) The kill each other.
(b) The turn into fire hydrants.
(c) The end up on Saturn.
(d) They are eaten by the Guilt God.

3. What store is closed for the night when Dirk looks for cigarettes?
(a) 7-Eleven.
(b) Cross Wares.
(c) H.W. Smith.
(d) B.E. Bradley.

4. What has he been counting in Wales?
(a) Seagulls.
(b) Picnic tables.
(c) People.
(d) Stones.

5. Why does Thor go to Wales to count the things he has to count?
(a) Penance.
(b) Art.
(c) Records.
(d) Superstition.

6. What has been left at the hospital for Kate?
(a) A pizza.
(b) An eagle.
(c) A guilded soda can.
(d) A bill.

7. Where does the eagle injure Dirk as he tries to escape to get some cigarettes?
(a) On his leg.
(b) On his nose.
(c) On his arm.
(d) On his right ear.

8. To what conclusion does Dirk come in regards to Thor at the airport when he contemplates the gods roaming the earth?
(a) That the gods could destroy the earth.
(b) That he would have trouble in traffic.
(c) That music would mean nothing to him.
(d) That he would have no passport.

9. What creatures crouch beneath the foul sky outside the gates of Valhalla?
(a) Dragons.
(b) Demons.
(c) Gorgons.
(d) Gargoyles.

10. When he is in the altercation with the eagle, Dirk considers _____.
(a) What the eagle would taste like roasted.
(b) Running the bird down with his car.
(c) Burning the house down.
(d) Flooding the basement.

11. On what type of bass does Neil play "The Ride of the Valkyries"?
(a) A Fender Precision.
(b) A Steinberger.
(c) A Dean Edge.
(d) An Epiphone.

12. Who once occupied the hospital bed Dirk finds himself in?
(a) Anstey.
(b) Kate.
(c) Clive Draycott.
(d) Odin.

13. Why does Dirk think nobody will sell him cigarettes?
(a) Because they aren't in the mood.
(b) Because it is raining.
(c) Because they are out fo stock.
(d) Because he looks like a maniac.

14. What is the only thing that keeps Kate from screaming as she and Thor hurtle through space?
(a) He dignity.
(b) The air pressure.
(c) Thor's body odor.
(d) The rain in her throat.

15. Dirk awakens in the hospital and finds he has _____.
(a) Lost his sight.
(b) Eaten a salamander.
(c) A broken leg.
(d) A broken arm.

Short Answer Questions

1. How is Thor holding Kate as they hurtle through space?

2. Where in Wales did Thor lose count?

3. Which neighbor of Kate's has recently died of a heart attack?

4. What disturbs the horses that Toe Rag has stolen?

5. How does the author characterize the Eighties?

(see the answer keys)

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