The Long Dark Tea-time of the Soul Test | Final Test - Easy

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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Neil asked Thor if he liked _____ when he delivered the Coca-Cola machine.
(a) Sweet Tarts.
(b) Wagner.
(c) Bugs Bunny.
(d) Soda.

2. When Dirk is struggling up through Pentonville Road in traffic, what does he suddenly think of?
(a) Egyptian artifacts.
(b) Karaoke.
(c) Whales.
(d) Spaghetti incidents.

3. What store is closed for the night when Dirk looks for cigarettes?
(a) B.E. Bradley.
(b) Cross Wares.
(c) H.W. Smith.
(d) 7-Eleven.

4. Where did Dirk buy the Japanese print that is missing from his wall when the eagle comes into his house?
(a) Cotswolds.
(b) Camden Passage.
(c) Japan.
(d) Korea.

5. What kind of script is on the papers Dirk stares at as he contemplates what to do about the eagle in his house?
(a) Old French.
(b) Sanskrit.
(c) Cuneiform.
(d) Runic.

6. Why does Dirk think nobody will sell him cigarettes?
(a) Because he looks like a maniac.
(b) Because they aren't in the mood.
(c) Because it is raining.
(d) Because they are out fo stock.

7. What does Thor say he needs when Kate offers to help him with the bruise she just caused on his face?
(a) A hug.
(b) Compensation.
(c) A cold compress.
(d) Vengeance.

8. What befalls Toe Rag and the green-eyed monster?
(a) The end up on Saturn.
(b) They are eaten by the Guilt God.
(c) The kill each other.
(d) The turn into fire hydrants.

9. As Dirk turns through Islington, he begins the long haul past _____.
(a) Pet groomers and hair salons.
(b) Hamburger joints and vision centers.
(c) Pizza restaurants and estate agents.
(d) Laundromats and car repair shops.

10. In what kind of vehicle does Odin return to Valhalla?
(a) A Mack diesel.
(b) A dead-in-the-water Citroen.
(c) An unmarked gray Mercedes van.
(d) A decrepit Jaguar.

11. What was the subject of the "big talk" Odin used to endure at Valhalla?
(a) Things being riven.
(b) Weapons being fashioned.
(c) Ancestors being summoned.
(d) Maidens being captured.

12. What has he been counting in Wales?
(a) People.
(b) Stones.
(c) Seagulls.
(d) Picnic tables.

13. Where in Wales did Thor lose count?
(a) Cardiff.
(b) Stoke-on-Trent.
(c) Mid-Glamorgan.
(d) Caernarton.

14. How does Dirk feel about the lawyer he hits with his car after he gives him his business card?
(a) Lethal.
(b) Exuberant.
(c) Patronized.
(d) Pedantic.

15. How does the author describe Odin's hands in the bed at Woodshead?
(a) As exquisitely frail.
(b) As womanly.
(c) As skeletal.
(d) As still strong and powerful.

Short Answer Questions

1. In Dirk's experience, what do crazy, pushy New York drivers explain to oncoming traffic as they careen out into the road?

2. When he is in the altercation with the eagle, Dirk considers _____.

3. How did Thor take care of the fighter pilot's wife?

4. Which neighbor of Kate's has recently died of a heart attack?

5. What does Odin say of being a god in reference to the white linen sheets he gets at Woodshead?

(see the answer keys)

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