The Long Dark Tea-time of the Soul Test | Final Test - Easy

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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Where do Kate and Thor find themselves when they flick out of Asgard?
(a) A bedroom suite in a hotel.
(b) A train station in the South of France.
(c) Woodshead.
(d) Dirk's house.

2. Who attends Odin at Woodshead as he prepares to return to Asgard?
(a) Hollow.
(b) Willow.
(c) Hillow.
(d) Wallow.

3. What does Dirk think he will not be able to handle in terms of the eagle in his house if he tries to go upstairs to get a cigarette?
(a) His overwhelming queasiness.
(b) The memory of his accident.
(c) The thought of the eagle's anger.
(d) The sheer ornithology involved.

4. When does Dirk reminisce that one could get once cigarettes?
(a) During the Depression.
(b) During Lent.
(c) During the French Revolution.
(d) During the blitz.

5. How did Thor take care of the fighter pilot's wife?
(a) By fixing the lottery for her.
(b) By giving her a golden hammer.
(c) By repairing her house.
(d) By selling his stock.

6. Who once occupied the hospital bed Dirk finds himself in?
(a) Clive Draycott.
(b) Anstey.
(c) Odin.
(d) Kate.

7. Why does Dirk think nobody will sell him cigarettes?
(a) Because they aren't in the mood.
(b) Because he looks like a maniac.
(c) Because it is raining.
(d) Because they are out fo stock.

8. What is sitting next to Odin's bed the afternoon following his return to Woodshead?
(a) An onion ring.
(b) A Stanley hammer.
(c) A newspaper.
(d) A gold class ring.

9. What has been left at the hospital for Kate?
(a) A pizza.
(b) A guilded soda can.
(c) An eagle.
(d) A bill.

10. Who does Tsuliwaensis tell Thor to be wary of?
(a) Kate.
(b) Toe Rag.
(c) Clive Draycott.
(d) Poseiden.

11. According to Odin, very little attention was given to _____ at Valhalla.
(a) Steak.
(b) Laundry.
(c) Wine.
(d) Weapon maintenance.

12. Who is the world's greatest publisher of the world's sleaziest newspaper?
(a) Larry Flintlocke.
(b) Carmine Rigozza.
(c) Annie Gittergun.
(d) Roderick Mercer.

13. What befalls Toe Rag and the green-eyed monster?
(a) The end up on Saturn.
(b) They are eaten by the Guilt God.
(c) The turn into fire hydrants.
(d) The kill each other.

14. How does the author describe Odin's hands in the bed at Woodshead?
(a) As still strong and powerful.
(b) As exquisitely frail.
(c) As skeletal.
(d) As womanly.

15. Where in Wales did Thor lose count?
(a) Mid-Glamorgan.
(b) Cardiff.
(c) Stoke-on-Trent.
(d) Caernarton.

Short Answer Questions

1. When Dirk is struggling up through Pentonville Road in traffic, what does he suddenly think of?

2. In what kind of vehicle does Odin return to Valhalla?

3. Where does the eagle injure Dirk as he tries to escape to get some cigarettes?

4. Who has run over Dirk and caused some of his injuries?

5. What happens to a god that makes the god know he is dead?

(see the answer keys)

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