The Long Dark Tea-time of the Soul Test | Final Test - Easy

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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Who has run over Dirk and caused some of his injuries?
(a) A motorcycle courier.
(b) Thor in a Volkswagen.
(c) Kate in Dirk's own Jaguar.
(d) A gray Mercedes van.

2. What is the name of the wife of the lawyer that Dirk hits with his car?
(a) Barbara.
(b) Cynthia.
(c) Beth.
(d) Sally.

3. What kind of script is on the papers Dirk stares at as he contemplates what to do about the eagle in his house?
(a) Cuneiform.
(b) Runic.
(c) Old French.
(d) Sanskrit.

4. How does the author describe the Midland Grand Hotel?
(a) As a colossal dump.
(b) As an epic shrine to mediocrity.
(c) As an Art Deco trash compactor.
(d) As a huge, dark Gothic Fantasy of a building.

5. Dirk awakens in the hospital and finds he has _____.
(a) A broken leg.
(b) A broken arm.
(c) Lost his sight.
(d) Eaten a salamander.

6. What was the subject of the "big talk" Odin used to endure at Valhalla?
(a) Maidens being captured.
(b) Ancestors being summoned.
(c) Things being riven.
(d) Weapons being fashioned.

7. When he is in the altercation with the eagle, Dirk considers _____.
(a) Flooding the basement.
(b) Running the bird down with his car.
(c) What the eagle would taste like roasted.
(d) Burning the house down.

8. How does the author characterize the Eighties?
(a) As utopian.
(b) As materialistic.
(c) As meat-eating.
(d) As brilliant.

9. What does Odin say of being a god in reference to the white linen sheets he gets at Woodshead?
(a) It is unclean.
(b) It is superior.
(c) It is resourceful.
(d) It is powerful.

10. What is sitting next to Odin's bed the afternoon following his return to Woodshead?
(a) A gold class ring.
(b) A newspaper.
(c) A Stanley hammer.
(d) An onion ring.

11. What is Tsuliwaensis about to do when Kate and Thor arrive in Asgard?
(a) Kill herself.
(b) Steal the keys to Valhalla.
(c) Ride on a ghost ship.
(d) Cook a mutton steak.

12. What does Thor turn into a kitten?
(a) A blue china table lamp.
(b) A carton of milk.
(c) A carton of free-range eggs.
(d) A shangung silk pillow.

13. Where do Kate and Thor find themselves when they flick out of Asgard?
(a) A train station in the South of France.
(b) Woodshead.
(c) Dirk's house.
(d) A bedroom suite in a hotel.

14. What sensory experience for Dirk increases with a heavy sky?
(a) Ecstasy.
(b) Extreme depression.
(c) Blindness.
(d) Claustrophobia.

15. What disturbs the horses that Toe Rag has stolen?
(a) A short, talking tree.
(b) Odin.
(c) Thor.
(d) A large, white metal box.

Short Answer Questions

1. What does the old man that befriends Dirk at King's Cross Station utter often?

2. What song does Neil suddenly erupt into during Kate's conversation with Thor after his bath?

3. How is Thor holding Kate as they hurtle through space?

4. In Dirk's experience, what do crazy, pushy New York drivers explain to oncoming traffic as they careen out into the road?

5. What is the neroli oil Kate puts in Thor's bath distilled from?

(see the answer keys)

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