The Long Dark Tea-time of the Soul Test | Final Test - Easy

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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Where in Wales did Thor lose count?
(a) Cardiff.
(b) Caernarton.
(c) Mid-Glamorgan.
(d) Stoke-on-Trent.

2. What is the neroli oil Kate puts in Thor's bath distilled from?
(a) Bitter almonds.
(b) Bitter orange blossoms.
(c) The argan tree.
(d) Shea nuts.

3. What has happened to many of the gods?
(a) They have transmutated into animals.
(b) They have found jobs in other dimensions.
(c) They have retired with a pension.
(d) They have succumbed to alcoholism.

4. What is the name of the wife of the lawyer that Dirk hits with his car?
(a) Sally.
(b) Cynthia.
(c) Beth.
(d) Barbara.

5. Who has run over Dirk and caused some of his injuries?
(a) Thor in a Volkswagen.
(b) A motorcycle courier.
(c) A gray Mercedes van.
(d) Kate in Dirk's own Jaguar.

6. What does Thor tear up to bind his injured arm?
(a) Kate's towel.
(b) Kate's nightgown.
(c) Kate's tablecloth.
(d) Kate's umbrella.

7. Who attends Odin at Woodshead as he prepares to return to Asgard?
(a) Wallow.
(b) Hollow.
(c) Willow.
(d) Hillow.

8. How does the author characterize the Eighties?
(a) As meat-eating.
(b) As brilliant.
(c) As materialistic.
(d) As utopian.

9. Who sends a constant barrage of paradoxical notices to Dirk in the mail?
(a) American Express.
(b) The government.
(c) Coca-Cola.
(d) His brother.

10. What does the nurse say is rumored of Howard Bell?
(a) That he eats worms every day.
(b) That he is a saint.
(c) That he has eyes in the back of his head.
(d) That he is in a pact with the devil.

11. What does the old man that befriends Dirk at King's Cross Station utter often?
(a) "Humph".
(b) "Oh, ah".
(c) "Delicious!".
(d) "Naught!".

12. How does Thor explain how he and Kate are going to get to Asgard?
(a) As molecules.
(b) By closing their eyes.
(c) Telekenesis.
(d) As shapeshifters.

13. As Dirk turns through Islington, he begins the long haul past _____.
(a) Pet groomers and hair salons.
(b) Laundromats and car repair shops.
(c) Hamburger joints and vision centers.
(d) Pizza restaurants and estate agents.

14. The air at Valhalla is filled with the noiseless howls of _____.
(a) Old godly jokes.
(b) The lonely wind.
(c) Great winged dogs.
(d) Tortured prisoners.

15. Where does Dirk decline offers that don't involve the procurement of cigarettes?
(a) Blackfriar's Road.
(b) Lincolnshire Way.
(c) Stamford Road,
(d) York Way.

Short Answer Questions

1. How can Tsuliwaensis tell Kate is a mortal?

2. What kind of script is on the papers Dirk stares at as he contemplates what to do about the eagle in his house?

3. What part of London does Dirk say is antique buildings being ripped apart?

4. How does Dirk describe the lawyer he hits with his car's glasses, hair, and spotted bowtie?

5. How does Kate describe Thor's eyes?

(see the answer keys)

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