Leigh-Cheri - This main character is from royalty.
Bernard Mickey Wrangle - This main character was once named "Baby".
The Writer - This person is also the narrator of the novel.
King Max and Queen Tilli - These characters are the royal parents of the main character.
Ralph Nader - The main character has a crush on this real life environmentalist.
Gulietta - This character is the elderly maid with a surprise relationship with the royal family.
Chuck - The CIA depends on this character to keep tabs on the royal family.
A'ben Fizel - This character is the Arab fiance of the main character.
The Argon Aliens - These characters dislike people with red hair.
Nina Jablonski - This character is the pregnant attorney of the "Woodpecker."
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