Chapters One through Three
• Sellevision host Max Andrews is fired after his penis is accidentally exposed during a live broadcast for children.
• Another Sellevision host named Peggy Jean Smythe receives e-mails from a "fan" telling her that she has hairy earlobes and a deep voice.
• Host Bebe Friedman runs a personal ad on the internet, to which she receives a promising response.
• Howard Toast, executive producer and married man, is having an affair with host Leigh Bushmoore.
• Peggy Jean believes that "female problems" are the cause of her hairy earlobes and deep voice.
Chapters Four through Six
• Host Trish Mission's father buys her a 7.5 carat engagement ring because he feels the one she received from her fiancÃ© is too small.
• Peggy Jean's husband John arranges to be alone with their teenage neighbor Nikki.
• Peggy Jean continues to receive rude, critical e-mails from her "fan."
• Max's future in shopping...
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