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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Sedaris says he sounds like an evil baby when speaking French because
(a) He only uses curse words.
(b) He only uses nouns at first.
(c) He refuses to speak French aloud.
(d) He refuses to learn new words.

2. Using the reference books, Sedaris discovers a whole new world of
(a) Phobias.
(b) Sports.
(c) Opera.
(d) Diseases.

3. At the end of the essay, Sedaris compares himself to
(a) A hillbilly.
(b) A celebrity.
(c) A baby.
(d) A criminal.

4. Martin, the American husband, remarks that
(a) Sedaris does not speak French well.
(b) Sedaris stole his wallet on his last trip to Paris.
(c) Sedaris stole Hugh's wallet.
(d) Sedaris, like all the French, smells badly.

5. How does Sedaris solve his problem naming masculine and feminine nouns in public?
(a) He refuses to use nouns in conversation.
(b) He uses the singular form of every noun, so no gender is necessary.
(c) He assigns every noun a gender he feels is appropriate.
(d) He uses the plural form of every noun, so no gender is necessary.

6. The derogatory term Martin uses for a French person is
(a) Fritter.
(b) French fry.
(c) Fruit.
(d) Froggy.

7. Though Sedaris is in Paris, he spends most of his time
(a) Watching American films.
(b) Watching foreign films.
(c) Watching silent films.
(d) Watching documentaries.

8. Sedaris claims that if he wanted to hear wall-to-wall French
(a) He would buy more French books on tape.
(b) He would simply participate in real life.
(c) He would move back to Normandy.
(d) He would go back to French class.

9. Why does Sedaris feel ashamed about his inability to speak proper French?
(a) A friend told him that French is easy if one pays attention in class.
(b) A friend told him that French children never struggle with the sex of their nouns.
(c) A friend told him that French is the easiest language to learn.
(d) A friend told him that French children learn English easily.

10. Sedaris takes it personally when his teacher says
(a) She will not pass him from the course.
(b) He will never learn French.
(c) His accent is terrible.
(d) She hates him.

11. Sedaris claims he sees so many movies because
(a) He has no interest in other attractions.
(b) He has not seen most of these films in America.
(c) He is too lazy to do anything else.
(d) He is too intimidated by the French to do anything else.

12. Reggie believes that he is a genius because
(a) His childhood teachers told him so.
(b) He has a prestigious job.
(c) His has an IQ of 130.
(d) Sedaris has confirmed it.

13. The Texans on the Metro do not make room for the growing crowd because
(a) They feel entitled to their seats.
(b) They are unable to make their seats fold up.
(c) They are unable to read the signs instructing them to do so.
(d) They are too tired to get up.

14. In the end, Sedaris decides
(a) Not to admit he speaks English, as he enjoys the misunderstanding.
(b) To pretend to steal Martin's wallet just for fun.
(c) Not to admit he speaks English because he is embarrased.
(d) To "steal" Hugh's wallet and create a scene on the train.

15. Sedaris does poorly on the IQ test because
(a) He does not know the answers to the questions.
(b) He does not understand the questions in French.
(c) He is distracted by the teacher.
(d) The testing room was too hot.

Short Answer Questions

1. As an adult, what prompts Sedaris to believe he is a genius?

2. Why did Hugh's family live in the Congo?

3. At the start of the essay, Sedaris explains how he met

4. When men are injured by the vachettes, Sedaris

5. Sedaris confesses his own fear is that

(see the answer keys)

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