Dominick Birdsey (b. 1950) - The novel's angst-filled narrator, this person is a high school teacher turned house painter, who candidly describes himself as a son of a bitch. The novel describes his lifelong struggle to deal with his mother's clear preference for his identical twin.
Thomas Joseph Birdsey (1949-92) - The narrator's identical twin, born six minutes before, on New Years Eve, December 31, 1949. He is a paranoid schizophrenic, having lived on-and-off for twenty years in the Three Rivers State Hospital.
Domenico Onofrio Tempesta (1880-1949) - Seen only through his own self-serving memoir, this author is a maternal grandfather.
Raymond Alva (Ray) Birdsey (b. 1923) - This character is a World War II and Korean War Navy veteran with a volatile temper. As boys, the adopted twins obey this person instantly, but not their mother. He works nights as a pipe fitter at Electric Boat, forcing the boys to...
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