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The Phantom of the Opera

About 1 pages (355 words)

The Stranger, December 23rd, 2004

I could conceive of only one way to wring the few remaining droplets of blood from the insipid, bloated Andrew Lloyd Webber musical, and that'd be to unleash Joel Schumacher's über-Hollywood aesthetics on the movie adaptation. Voilà: The Phantom of the Opera, a pallid film that looks like an immensely expensive mock-up for a Disneyland ride. There's the fake grotto--perfect for a sexless gondola thriller called The Phantom's Lair--plus some dramatic fog billowing around Christine's father's tomb, and the scrubbed golden hue of the faux Paris Opera staircase... (Plans are in the works for a p...

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