The Stranger, January 25th, 2007
Good Nanny/Bad Nanny
I love kids. In fact, I love kids so much I have roughly 27 of them scattered all over the country. (There could be more... I'm highly regarded for the potency of my seed.) The downside of having spawned so many illegitimate children is having to appear on The Maury Povich Show for one of his many "Paternity Test Results" episodes. IT'S AWFUL! Every time it's the same thing: my former lover poop-talks me for 20 minutes, then Maury brings me out on stage. The audience boos me and then Maury opens the DNA results envelope and says one of two things: "Humpy... you ARE the fa...
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