The Stranger, August 9th, 2007
NASCRAP
First things first: My car will blow the freaking DOORS off your car. It's packing a 430 four barrel, and is so monstrously fast I have to repaint it every week-because the paint burns off, Count Bee-yotchula! That's right, I love to race. And it doesn't matter if I'm on the drag strip, the highway, a school zone, or the parking lot of Arby's, I burn so much rubber the federal government is afraid of a condom shortage. (But that's also because I use so many condoms.)
Now, you may be asking yourself, "Wm.(TM) Steven Hump-Me, why am I privy to this information?" Good question. (1) Cons...
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