Student Essay on Immagination and Decisions

Immagination and Decisions

Summary:   The imagination in This Boy's Life by Tobias Wolff helps Toby to realize that he can be a successful person through his own dreams. Toby's fantasy world is where he imagines and makes wrong decisions; however, Toby's dreams of a better life help make right decisions.

The imagination in This Boy's Life by Tobias Wolff helps Toby to realize that he can be a successful person through his own dreams. Toby's fantasy world is where he imagines and makes wrong decisions; however, Toby's dreams of a better life help make right decisions. Although at first Toby's imagination forces him to make bad decisions, later on these bad decisions bring him closer to his dream of a better life. His fantasy and dream worlds play an important role in his childhood. The decisions Toby makes based on his dreams and fantasy world help him to become a strong and determined person as an adult.

Toby lives in a broken home with his mom, they always move from place to place. Although his mother asks him for his approval, he refuses to tell her the truth that he doesn't want to contribute any comments. Toby doesn't say anything about moving because he is willing to give his mom a chance to find a family so they can be happy together. But he does not have a normal life and it pushes him to desire a life like other people. He enters his fantasy world by "imagin[ing] being adopted by different people that [he] s[ees] on the street.[. . .] [He] talk[s] to anyone who would talk back" when he's lonely (Wolff 12-3). Sometimes he sits "in other people's yards and plays with their dogs" (13). Toby's actions show that he needs a father, a friend, or even animals to play with. By imagining a stranger to be his father, it shows that he longs for a strong father figure. When Toby imagines someone else as his father, it shows that he wants to feel safe. His loneliness and isolation from everyone leads him to find anyone to talk to. Although Toby's actions do not seem to take him anywhere, they actually make him become optimistic about his unfortunate life.

Therefore, Toby starts imagining him as someone else, someone he wants to be. He pictures himself as a wealthy and strong person, which motivates him to seek more self esteem. Toby lies about himself to his pen pal, Alice, in Phoenix, Arizona. "[He] represent[s] [himself] to her as the owner of a palomino horse" and anything that makes him superior, but he hides his real identity (13). He even wants everyone to refer to him as Jack, after Jack London despite his mother's disapproval. For Toby, Jack signifies "the strength and competence inherent in [Toby's] idea of" Jack London (8). With those lies about his real identity, Toby has mitigated the heaviness of his broken family. Toby is desperate for a normal life and he is willing to do anything to achieve it, even if it makes him look pathetic. By imagining him as someone else, Toby is able to realize that he should strive for what he dreams of. Those dreams motivate him to see that he needs to change and become a good person in order to make his dreams come true.

However, Toby's dreams of becoming a better person are thwarted when his mother marries Dwight. Dwight often abuses Toby it makes Toby feel that Dwight has the power over him, thus, Toby feels weak. Toby knows that he cannot win against Dwight, which is why Toby is desperate to find weaker people so that he can exploit them. Toby finally finds friends and people in the same situation as himself, which makes him feel normal. Although Toby sees that he is accepted by his friends, Taylor, Silver, and the Ballard boys, he knows they are bad influences. One day, "Taylor, Silver, and [Toby] br[eak] out some windows in the school cafeteria" (60). Although Toby's friends give him some kind of consolation, they incite Toby to become ill-natured. Even though Toby's friends are bad influences, Toby finally gets 'power' when he is with these friends. Toby uses all of his strength to fight Arthur in the smoker, but when he sees Dwight is proud of him. Dwight's approval however disgusts and scares Toby because he does not want to be a person like Dwight. Toby's fear is even more evident when he kills a squirrel by accident and feels because he does not intend for his "tough guy" actions to harm anyone. Toby shows that he does not use his power to take advantage of innocent animals, unlike Dwight who willfully shoots random creatures to hurt him intentionally--just like he beats Toby intentionally. After trying to comfort him from Dwight's violent, Toby decides that he doesn't want to become someone like Dwight. Toby sees that abusing other people or even animals to make him feel powerful isn't who he is or what he wanted to become.

Toby likes to consider himself "a master thief" (62). He chooses to make other people think that he is a "cool" person by making himself looks tough in front of his friends. There is also a time when Toby aims his gun at people and throws eggs on an expensive car and both actions make him feel he has power. Toby likes to be in the Boy Scout and put on his uniform when he aims gun at people shows that he feels proud and somewhat like a soldier. Being sneaky and firing guns eventually make Toby want to join the army, where he finally "redeem[s] [himself]. All [he] need[s] [is] a war" (286). Although Toby is young when he does all of these bad things, he eventually wants to go to war where he can redeem himself. According to Toby, if he goes to war then he will get away from the life he has been struggled with throughout his childhood. By going to war, he will have the real power he never had as a child and he able to be proud of the actions. When Toby aims his gun at people, when he is a boy he feels as if he is a sniper which leads him wanting to become a soldier and have real power not like at home where he is just a 'cool' kid. Toby wants to feel that he has the power in his hands.

Although Toby is surrounded by many poor influences, his mom, brother, and friend Arthur are good influences. They are the people who help Toby to escape from the bad environment and make right decisions. Toby's mom plays a very important role in Toby's life because she is the reason why Toby does not fall so deeply under the bad influences in his life. He does not want her to be sad; therefore, he doesn't let her know that he drinks and smokes with the Ballard Boys. When he has the chance to get away from Dwight, his cruel stepfather, Toby refuses the offer from his uncle, who offers to bring him to live over seas in Paris, because he realizes that his mother is the reason why he is trying so hard for a better life. Whenever Toby tries to make a decision about leaving his mother his mind "[becomes] a desert", because he does not know what to do without her (142). He "imagine[s] leaving" his mother, but he knows that it is "impossible" (142). Through Toby's imagination, he believes he and his mother are going to have a better life in the future. Leaving for Paris is not a wise choice for Toby because throughout the book, Toby's mom is the person who gives him the optimism for striving for a better life.

Geoffrey, like Toby's mother, inspires Toby to go to a good college and to become a writer. For the first time, Toby is encouraged to attend a good school because Geoffrey attends Princeton. After talking to Geoffrey in four years, Toby starts to behave like a Princeton's student shows that Toby wants to go Princeton and become like his brother. After Geoffrey finds out that Dwight often hits Toby, he tells Toby to apply to a prep school and get away from Dwight. At this point, Toby feels that he should really get away and become a decent person who goes to college and he begins applying to prep school. In the fake recommendations that he writes to the prep schools, which "carr[y] all [his] hopes, it seemed to [him] [he] s[ees], at last, [his] own face", Toby realizes that it is what he should be doing and Toby is the one he describes in the recommendations (214). Although Toby lies about his grades and teachers' recommendations, he gets into Hill School. He ends up dropping out because he can not handle the work at Hill, but from there he knew he wants to become successful and a writer. When he lies about himself in the fake recommendations, he realizes that that is the real him. Therefore, he feels that he can be the person he describes on the recommendations.

Toby suggests that imagination can be both beneficial and harmful. All of Toby's decisions are important to his future, yet his decisions come mostly from his imagination. Toby lives in an unpleasant environment, a broken home and is surrounded by people who encourage him to do bad things. It is hard for Toby to stand up for himself and to escape from his fantasy world. This Boy's Life suggests that when one lives in a fantasy world, dreams may seem impossible to accomplish, but it is important to have faith in them as one's goal. By following his dreams, Toby becomes a writer and a successful person. His imagination helps him overcome difficulties in life by giving him something for which to strive. At first, his poor decisions do not seem to be helpful, but if he has faith and they help him to make another better choice.