I have always hated mid-day television. It started when I was in grade school. I remember staying home sick one day and being forced to flip endlessly through mindless talk shows, sappy soap operas, and fake courtroom dramas. I wanted to know why my favorite cartoons would come on in the morning, go off the air in the mid-day, only to return around one thirty or two. An even greater concept my fifth grade intellect failed to fathom was whom these terrible programs were catering to. Who were the people that actually liked this stuff? For many years I had pondered these questions and now I can say definitively that mid-day television's audience is geared towards uneducated and unemployed people.

The first clue in finding mid-day television's audience is in the shows themselves. There is nothing but lowbrow content in them. On the talk show "Jerry Springer" the...