As this letter will apprize you of an alteration in
the place to which you must direct your next, I send
it by a friend of Mr. Hickman, who may be depended
upon. He has business in the neighbourhood of
Mrs. Sorlings; and he knows her. He will return
to Mr. Hickman this night; and bring back any letter
you shall have ready to send, or can get ready.
It is moon-light. He’ll not mind waiting
for you. I choose not to send by any of Mr.
Hickman’s servants—at present, however.
Every hour is now, or may be, important; and may
make an alteration in your resolutions necessary.
I hear at this instant, my mother calling about her,
and putting every body into motion. She will
soon, I suppose, make me and my employment the subjects
of her inquiry.
Adieu, my dear. May heaven preserve you, and
restore you with honour as unsullied as your mind
to
Your ever affectionate
Anna Howe.
Miss Clarissa Harlowe, to miss
Howe
Thursday afternoon, April 13.
I am infinitely concerned, my ever dear and ever kind
friend, that I am the sad occasion of the displeasure
between your mother and you.—How many persons
have I made unhappy.
Had I not to console myself, that my error is not
owing to wicked precipitation, I should be the most
miserable of all creatures. As it is, I am enough
punished in the loss of my character, more valuable
to me than my life; and in the cruel doubts and perplexities
which, conflicting with my hopes, and each getting
the victory by turns, harrow up my soul between them.
I think, however, that you should obey your mother,
and decline a correspondence with me; at least for
the present. Take care how you fall into my
error; for that begun with carrying on a prohibited
correspondence; a correspondence which I thought it
in my power to discontinue at pleasure. My talent
is scribbling; and I the readier fell into this freedom,
as I found delight in writing; having motives too,
which I thought laudable; and, at one time, the permission
of all my friends; to write to him.*
* See Vol. I. Letter III.
Yet, as to this correspondence, What hurt could arise
from it, if your mother could be prevailed upon to
permit it to be continued?—So much prudence
and discretion as you have; and you, in writing to
me, lying under no temptation of following so bad
an example as I have set—my letters too
occasionally filled with self-accusation.
I thank you, my dear, most cordially I thank you,
for your kind offers. You may be assured, that
I will sooner be beholden to you, than to any body
living. To Mr. Lovelace the last. Do not
therefore think, that by declining your favours, I
have an intention to lay myself under obligations
to him.
