She comes! She comes! And the sun is just
rising to attend her! Adieu! Be half as
happy as I am (for all diffidencies, like night-fogs
before the sun, disperse at her approach) and, next
myself, thou wilt be the happiest man in the world.
Miss Clarissa Harlowe, to miss
Howe
Wednesday, April 12.
I will pursue my melancholy story.
Being thus hurried to the chariot, it would have been
to no purpose to have refused entering into it, had
he not in my fright lifted me in, as he did:
and it instantly drove away a full gallop, and stopped
not till it brought us to St. Alban’s; which
was just as the day shut in.
I thought I should have fainted several times by the
way. With uplifted hands and eyes, God protect
me! said I often to myself: Can it be I, that
am here! My eyes running over, and my heart ready
to burst with sighs as involuntarily as my flight.
How different, how inexpressibly different, the gay
wretch; visibly triumphing (as I could not be construe
his almost rapturous joy) in the success of his arts!
But overflowing with complimental flourishes, yet
respectfully distant his address, all the way we flew;
for that, rather than galloping, was the motion of
the horses; which took, as I believe, a round-about
way, to prevent being traced.
I have reason to think, there were other horsemen
at his devotion; three or four different persons,
above the rank of the servants, galloping by us now-and-then,
on each side of the chariot: but he took no notice
of them; and I had too much grief, mingled with indignation,
notwithstanding all his blandishments, to ask any
questions about them, or any thing else.
Think, my dear, what were my thoughts on alighting
from the chariot; having no attendant of my own sex;
no clothes but what I had on, and those little suited
to such a journey as I had already taken, and was
still to take: neither hood nor hat, nor any thing
but a handkerchief round my head and shoulders:
fatigued to death: my mind still more fatigued
than my body: and in such a foam the horses, that
every one in the inn we put up at guessed [they could
not do otherwise] that I was a young giddy creature,
who had run away from her friends. This it was
easy to see, by their whispering and gaping: more
of the people of the house also coming in by turns,
than were necessary for the attendance.
The mistress of the house, whom he sent in to me,
showed me another apartment; and, seeing me ready
to fain, brought me hartshorn and water; and then,
upon my desiring to be left alone for half an hour,
retired: for I found my heart ready to burst,
on revolving every thing in my thoughts: and
the moment she was gone, fastening the door, I threw
myself into an old great chair, and gave way to a
violent flood of tears, which a little relieved me.
