he was informed, they trifled away too much of their
lives.” He added, “The Christian religion
was a nobler subject for these speeches than any Socrates
could have invented.” The gentleman of
the house approved what Mr Adams said, and declared
“he was resolved to perform the ceremony this
very evening.” To which the doctor objected,
as no one was prepared with a speech, “unless,”
said he (turning to Adams with a gravity of countenance
which would have deceived a more knowing man), “you
have a sermon about you, doctor.” “Sir,”
said Adams, “I never travel without one, for
fear of what may happen.” He was easily
prevailed on by his worthy friend, as he now called
the doctor, to undertake the part of the ambassador;
so that the gentleman sent immediate orders to have
the throne erected, which was performed before they
had drank two bottles; and, perhaps, the reader will
hereafter have no great reason to admire the nimbleness
of the servants. Indeed, to confess the truth,
the throne was no more than this: there was a
great tub of water provided, on each side of which
were placed two stools raised higher than the surface
of the tub, and over the whole was laid a blanket;
on these stools were placed the king and queen, namely,
the master of the house and the captain. And now
the ambassador was introduced between the poet and
the doctor; who, having read his sermon, to the great
entertainment of all present, was led up to his place
and seated between their majesties. They immediately
rose up, when the blanket, wanting its supports at
either end, gave way, and soused Adams over head and
ears in the water. The captain made his escape,
but, unluckily, the gentleman himself not being as
nimble as he ought, Adams caught hold of him before
he descended from his throne, and pulled him in with
him, to the entire secret satisfaction of all the
company. Adams, after ducking the squire twice
or thrice, leapt out of the tub, and looked sharp
for the doctor, whom he would certainly have conveyed
to the same place of honour; but he had wisely withdrawn:
he then searched for his crabstick, and having found
that, as well as his fellow travellers, he declared
he would not stay a moment longer in such a house.
He then departed, without taking leave of his host,
whom he had exacted a more severe revenge on than
he intended; for, as he did not use sufficient care
to dry himself in time, he caught a cold by the accident
which threw him into a fever that had like to have
cost him his life.
Which some readers will think too short and others
too long.
