’So insolent, so trivial, so capricious, so
mercenary, so careless, so hard to touch, so hard
to turn!’ he said, bitterly.
And added as he went upstairs. ‘And yet
so pretty, so pretty!’
And added presently, as he walked to and fro in his
room. ’And if she knew!’
She knew that he was shaking the house by his walking
to and fro; and she declared it another of the miseries
of being poor, that you couldn’t get rid of
a haunting Secretary, stump—stump—stumping
overhead in the dark, like a Ghost.
A DISMAL SWAMP
And now, in the blooming summer days, behold Mr and
Mrs Boffin established in the eminently aristocratic
family mansion, and behold all manner of crawling,
creeping, fluttering, and buzzing creatures, attracted
by the gold dust of the Golden Dustman!
Foremost among those leaving cards at the eminently
aristocratic door before it is quite painted, are
the Veneerings: out of breath, one might imagine,
from the impetuosity of their rush to the eminently
aristocratic steps. One copper-plate Mrs Veneering,
two copper-plate Mr Veneerings, and a connubial copper-plate
Mr and Mrs Veneering, requesting the honour of Mr
and Mrs Boffin’s company at dinner with the
utmost Analytical solemnities. The enchanting
Lady Tippins leaves a card. Twemlow leaves cards.
A tall custard-coloured phaeton tooling up in a solemn
manner leaves four cards, to wit, a couple of Mr Podsnaps,
a Mrs Podsnap, and a Miss Podsnap. All the world
and his wife and daughter leave cards. Sometimes
the world’s wife has so many daughters, that
her card reads rather like a Miscellaneous Lot at
an Auction; comprising Mrs Tapkins, Miss Tapkins,
Miss Frederica Tapkins, Miss Antonina Tapkins, Miss
Malvina Tapkins, and Miss Euphemia Tapkins; at the
same time, the same lady leaves the card of Mrs Henry
George Alfred Swoshle, Nee Tapkins; also, a card,
Mrs Tapkins at Home, Wednesdays, Music, Portland Place.
Miss Bella Wilfer becomes an inmate, for an indefinite
period, of the eminently aristocratic dwelling.
Mrs Boffin bears Miss Bella away to her Milliner’s
and Dressmaker’s, and she gets beautifully dressed.
The Veneerings find with swift remorse that they have
omitted to invite Miss Bella Wilfer. One Mrs
Veneering and one Mr and Mrs Veneering requesting
that additional honour, instantly do penance in white
cardboard on the hall table. Mrs Tapkins likewise
discovers her omission, and with promptitude repairs
it; for herself; for Miss Tapkins, for Miss Frederica
Tapkins, for Miss Antonina Tapkins, for Miss Malvina
Tapkins, and for Miss Euphemia Tapkins. Likewise,
for Mrs Henry George Alfred Swoshle Nee Tapkins.
Likewise, for Mrs Tapkins at Home, Wednesdays, Music,
Portland Place.
