“DEFEND THEE, LORD”
I paid three pennies for my breakfast, and a most
extravagant price it was, too, seeing that one could
have breakfasted a dozen persons for that money; but
I was feeling good by this time, and I had always
been a kind of spendthrift anyway; and then these
people had wanted to give me the food for nothing,
scant as their provision was, and so it was a grateful
pleasure to emphasize my appreciation and sincere
thankfulness with a good big financial lift where
the money would do so much more good than it would
in my helmet, where, these pennies being made of iron
and not stinted in weight, my half-dollar’s
worth was a good deal of a burden to me. I spent
money rather too freely in those days, it is true;
but one reason for it was that I hadn’t got the
proportions of things entirely adjusted, even yet,
after so long a sojourn in Britain—hadn’t
got along to where I was able to absolutely realize
that a penny in Arthur’s land and a couple of
dollars in Connecticut were about one and the same
thing: just twins, as you may say, in purchasing
power. If my start from Camelot could have been
delayed a very few days I could have paid these people
in beautiful new coins from our own mint, and that
would have pleased me; and them, too, not less.
I had adopted the American values exclusively.
In a week or two now, cents, nickels, dimes, quarters,
and half-dollars, and also a trifle of gold, would
be trickling in thin but steady streams all through
the commercial veins of the kingdom, and I looked to
see this new blood freshen up its life.
The farmers were bound to throw in something, to sort
of offset my liberality, whether I would or no; so
I let them give me a flint and steel; and as soon
as they had comfortably bestowed Sandy and me on our
horse, I lit my pipe. When the first blast of
smoke shot out through the bars of my helmet, all
those people broke for the woods, and Sandy went over
backwards and struck the ground with a dull thud.
They thought I was one of those fire-belching dragons
they had heard so much about from knights and other
professional liars. I had infinite trouble to
persuade those people to venture back within explaining
distance. Then I told them that this was only
a bit of enchantment which would work harm to none
but my enemies. And I promised, with my hand
on my heart, that if all who felt no enmity toward
me would come forward and pass before me they should
see that only those who remained behind would be struck
dead. The procession moved with a good deal of
promptness. There were no casualties to report,
for nobody had curiosity enough to remain behind to
see what would happen.
I lost some time, now, for these big children, their
fears gone, became so ravished with wonder over my
awe-compelling fireworks that I had to stay there
and smoke a couple of pipes out before they would
let me go. Still the delay was not wholly unproductive,
for it took all that time to get Sandy thoroughly wonted
to the new thing, she being so close to it, you know.
It plugged up her conversation mill, too, for a considerable
while, and that was a gain. But above all other
benefits accruing, I had learned something.
I was ready for any giant or any ogre that might come
along, now.
