“I do not doubt that he hovers near the spot
which I inhabit, and if he has indeed taken refuge
in the Alps, he may be hunted like the chamois and
destroyed as a beast of prey. But I perceive
your thoughts; you do not credit my narrative and
do not intend to pursue my enemy with the punishment
which is his desert.” As I spoke, rage sparkled
in my eyes; the magistrate was intimidated.
“You are mistaken,” said he. “I
will exert myself, and if it is in my power to seize
the monster, be assured that he shall suffer punishment
proportionate to his crimes. But I fear, from
what you have yourself described to be his properties,
that this will prove impracticable; and thus, while
every proper measure is pursued, you should make up
your mind to disappointment.”
“That cannot be; but all that I can say will
be of little avail. My revenge is of no moment
to you; yet, while I allow it to be a vice, I confess
that it is the devouring and only passion of my soul.
My rage is unspeakable when I reflect that the murderer,
whom I have turned loose upon society, still exists.
You refuse my just demand; I have but one resource,
and I devote myself, either in my life or death, to
his destruction.”
I trembled with excess of agitation as I said this;
there was a frenzy in my manner, and something, I
doubt not, of that haughty fierceness which the martyrs
of old are said to have possessed. But to a Genevan
magistrate, whose mind was occupied by far other ideas
than those of devotion and heroism, this elevation
of mind had much the appearance of madness.
He endeavoured to soothe me as a nurse does a child
and reverted to my tale as the effects of delirium.
“Man,” I cried, “how ignorant art
thou in thy pride of wisdom! Cease; you know
not what it is you say.”
I broke from the house angry and disturbed and retired
to meditate on some other mode of action.
Chapter 24
My present situation was one in which all voluntary
thought was swallowed up and lost. I was hurried
away by fury; revenge alone endowed me with strength
and composure; it moulded my feelings and allowed
me to be calculating and calm at periods when otherwise
delirium or death would have been my portion.
My first resolution was to quit Geneva forever; my
country, which, when I was happy and beloved, was
dear to me, now, in my adversity, became hateful.
I provided myself with a sum of money, together with
a few jewels which had belonged to my mother, and
departed. And now my wanderings began which
are to cease but with life. I have traversed
a vast portion of the earth and have endured all the
hardships which travellers in deserts and barbarous
countries are wont to meet. How I have lived
I hardly know; many times have I stretched my failing
limbs upon the sandy plain and prayed for death.
But revenge kept me alive; I dared not die and leave
my adversary in being.
