war for six-and-thirty moons past. It began
upon the following occasion. It is allowed on
all hands, that the primitive way of breaking eggs,
before we eat them, was upon the larger end; but his
present majesty’s grandfather, while he was
a boy, going to eat an egg, and breaking it according
to the ancient practice, happened to cut one of his
fingers. Whereupon the emperor his father published
an edict, commanding all his subjects, upon great
penalties, to break the smaller end of their eggs.
The people so highly resented this law, that our
histories tell us, there have been six rebellions raised
on that account; wherein one emperor lost his life,
and another his crown. These civil commotions
were constantly fomented by the monarchs of Blefuscu;
and when they were quelled, the exiles always fled
for refuge to that empire. It is computed that
eleven thousand persons have at several times suffered
death, rather than submit to break their eggs at the
smaller end. Many hundred large volumes have
been published upon this controversy: but the
books of the Big-endians have been long forbidden,
and the whole party rendered incapable by law of holding
employments. During the course of these troubles,
the emperors of Blefusca did frequently expostulate
by their ambassadors, accusing us of making a schism
in religion, by offending against a fundamental doctrine
of our great prophet Lustrog, in the fifty-fourth
chapter of the Blundecral (which is their Alcoran).
This, however, is thought to be a mere strain upon
the text; for the words are these: ’that
all true believers break their eggs at the convenient
end.’ And which is the convenient end,
seems, in my humble opinion to be left to every man’s
conscience, or at least in the power of the chief magistrate
to determine. Now, the Big-endian exiles have
found so much credit in the emperor of Blefuscu’s
court, and so much private assistance and encouragement
from their party here at home, that a bloody war has
been carried on between the two empires for six-and-thirty
moons, with various success; during which time we
have lost forty capital ships, and a much a greater
number of smaller vessels, together with thirty thousand
of our best seamen and soldiers; and the damage received
by the enemy is reckoned to be somewhat greater than
ours. However, they have now equipped a numerous
fleet, and are just preparing to make a descent upon
us; and his imperial majesty, placing great confidence
in your valour and strength, has commanded me to lay
this account of his affairs before you.”
I desired the secretary to present my humble duty
to the emperor; and to let him know, “that I
thought it would not become me, who was a foreigner,
to interfere with parties; but I was ready, with the
hazard of my life, to defend his person and state against
all invaders.”
[The author, by an extraordinary stratagem, prevents
an invasion. A high title of honour is conferred
upon him. Ambassadors arrive from the emperor
of Blefuscu, and sue for peace. The empress’s
apartment on fire by an accident; the author instrumental
in saving the rest of the palace.]
