had no terms wherein that language could express them,
which made the difficulty almost insuperable, to give
my master any conception of what I meant. But
being of an excellent understanding, much improved
by contemplation and converse, he at last arrived
at a competent knowledge of what human nature, in
our parts of the world, is capable to perform, and
desired I would give him some particular account of
that land which we call Europe, but especially of
my own country.
[The author at his master’s command, informs
him of the state of England. The causes of war
among the princes of Europe. The author begins
to explain the English constitution.]
The reader may please to observe, that the following
extract of many conversations I had with my master,
contains a summary of the most material points which
were discoursed at several times for above two years;
his honour often desiring fuller satisfaction, as
I farther improved in the Houyhnhnm tongue. I
laid before him, as well as I could, the whole state
of Europe; I discoursed of trade and manufactures,
of arts and sciences; and the answers I gave to all
the questions he made, as they arose upon several subjects,
were a fund of conversation not to be exhausted.
But I shall here only set down the substance of what
passed between us concerning my own country, reducing
it in order as well as I can, without any regard to
time or other circumstances, while I strictly adhere
to truth. My only concern is, that I shall hardly
be able to do justice to my master’s arguments
and expressions, which must needs suffer by my want
of capacity, as well as by a translation into our
barbarous English.
In obedience, therefore, to his honour’s commands,
I related to him the Revolution under the Prince of
Orange; the long war with France, entered into by
the said prince, and renewed by his successor, the
present queen, wherein the greatest powers of Christendom
were engaged, and which still continued: I computed,
at his request, “that about a million of Yahoos
might have been killed in the whole progress of it;
and perhaps a hundred or more cities taken, and five
times as many ships burnt or sunk.”
He asked me, “what were the usual causes or
motives that made one country go to war with another?”
I answered “they were innumerable; but I should
only mention a few of the chief. Sometimes the
ambition of princes, who never think they have land
or people enough to govern; sometimes the corruption
of ministers, who engage their master in a war, in
order to stifle or divert the clamour of the subjects
against their evil administration. Difference
in opinions has cost many millions of lives:
for instance, whether flesh be bread, or bread be
flesh; whether the juice of a certain berry be blood
or wine; whether whistling be a vice or a virtue;
whether it be better to kiss a post, or throw it into
the fire; what is the best colour for a coat, whether
black, white, red, or gray; and whether it should
be long or short, narrow or wide, dirty or clean;
with many more. Neither are any wars so furious
and bloody, or of so long a continuance, as those
occasioned by difference in opinion, especially if
it be in things indifferent.
