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Tremendous Trifles eBook

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G. K. (Gilbert Keith) Chesterton

mission and the almost angelic qualities of the Liberal candidate.  Whereupon, this old man became suddenly transfigured in the sunlight into a devil of wrath.  It was some time before I could understand a word he said, but the one word that kept on recurring was the word “Kruger,” and it was invariably accompanied with a volley of violent terms.  Was I for old Kruger, was I?  Did I come to him and want him to help old Kruger?  I ought to be ashamed, I was . . . and here he became once more obscure.  The one thing that he made quite clear was that he wouldn’t do anything for Kruger.

“But you are Kruger,” burst from my lips, in a natural explosion of reasonableness.  “You are Kruger, aren’t you?”

After this innocent CRI de coeur of mine, I thought at first there would be a fight, and I remembered with regret that the President in early life had had a hobby of killing lions.  But really I began to think that I had been mistaken, and that it was not the President after all.  There was a confounding sincerity in the anger with which he declared that he was Farmer Bowles, and everybody knowed it.  I appeased him eventually and parted from him at the door of his farmhouse, where he left me with a few tags of religion, which again raised my suspicions of his identity.  In the coffee-room to which I returned there was an illustrated paper with a picture of President Kruger, and he and Farmer Bowles were as like as two peas.  There was a picture also of a group of Outlander leaders, and the faces of them, leering and triumphant, were perhaps unduly darkened by the photograph, but they seemed to me like the faces of a distant and hostile people.

I saw the old man once again on the fierce night of the poll, when he drove down our Liberal lines in a little cart ablaze with the blue Tory ribbons, for he was a man who would carry his colours everywhere.  It was evening, and the warm western light was on the grey hair and heavy massive features of that good old man.  I knew as one knows a fact of sense that if Spanish and German stockbrokers had flooded his farm or country he would have fought them for ever, not fiercely like an Irishman, but with the ponderous courage and ponderous cunning of the Boer.  I knew that without seeing it, as certainly as I knew without seeing it that when he went into the polling room he put his cross against the Conservative name.  Then he came out again, having given his vote and looking more like Kruger than ever.  And at the same hour on the same night thousands upon thousands of English Krugers gave the same vote.  And thus Kruger was pulled down and the dark-faced men in the photograph reigned in his stead.

XX

The Giant

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Tremendous Trifles from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.

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