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Not What You Meant?  There are 3 definitions for Kilometer zero.  Also try: The Lysistrata Project.

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446? BC-385? BC Aristophanes

Then why aren’t they here?

LYSISTRATA

No man’s connected with it;
If that was the case, they’d soon come fluttering along. 
No, no.  It concerns an object I’ve felt over
And turned this way and that for sleepless nights.

CALONICE

It must be fine to stand such long attention.

LYSISTRATA

So fine it comes to this—­Greece saved by Woman!

CALONICE

By Woman?  Wretched thing, I’m sorry for it.

LYSISTRATA

Our country’s fate is henceforth in our hands: 
To destroy the Peloponnesians root and branch—­

CALONICE

What could be nobler!

LYSISTRATA

Wipe out the Boeotians—­

CALONICE

Not utterly.  Have mercy on the eels!
[Footnote:  The Boeotian eels were highly esteemed delicacies in Athens.]

LYSISTRATA

But with regard to Athens, note I’m careful
Not to say any of these nasty things;
Still, thought is free....  But if the women join us
From Peloponnesus and Boeotia, then
Hand in hand we’ll rescue Greece.

CALONICE

How could we do
Such a big wise deed?  We women who dwell
Quietly adorning ourselves in a back-room
With gowns of lucid gold and gawdy toilets
Of stately silk and dainty little slippers....

LYSISTRATA

These are the very armaments of the rescue. 
These crocus-gowns, this outlay of the best myrrh,
Slippers, cosmetics dusting beauty, and robes
With rippling creases of light.

CALONICE

Yes, but how?

LYSISTRATA

No man will lift a lance against another—­

CALONICE

I’ll run to have my tunic dyed crocus.

LYSISTRATA

Or take a shield—­

CALONICE

I’ll get a stately gown.

LYSISTRATA

Or unscabbard a sword—­

CALONICE

Let me buy a pair of slipper.

LYSISTRATA

Now, tell me, are the women right to lag?

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Lysistrata from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.

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