EASY IS THE SLOPE OF HELL
The electors for the Tillietudlem district burghs,
disgusted by the roguery of Mr. M’Buffer, and
anxiously on the alert to replace him by a strictly
honest man, returned our friend Undy by a glorious
majority. He had no less than 312 votes, as opposed
to 297, and though threatened with the pains and penalties
of a petition, he was not a little elated by his success.
A petition with regard to the Tillietudlem burghs
was almost as much a matter of course as a contest;
at any rate the threat of a petition was so.
Undy, however, had lived through this before, and
did not fear but that he might do so again. Threatened
folks live long; parliamentary petitions are very
costly, and Undy’s adversaries were, if possible,
even in more need of money than himself.
He communicated his good fortune to his friend Alaric
in the following letter:—
’Bellenden Arms, Tillietudlem, July, 185-.
’My DEAR DIRECTOR,
’Here I am once more a constituent part of the
legislative wisdom of the United Kingdom, thanks to
the patriotic discretion of the pot-wallopers, burgage-tenants,
and ten-pound freeholders of these loyal towns.
The situation is a proud one; I could only wish that
it had been less expensive. I am plucked as clean
as ever was pigeon; and over and above the loss of
every feather I carried, old M’Cleury, my agent
here, will have a bill against me that will hardly
be settled before the next election. I do not
complain, however; a man cannot have luxuries without
paying for them; and this special luxury of serving
one’s country in Parliament is one for which
a man has so often to pay, without the subsequent
fruition of the thing paid for, that a successful
candidate should never grumble, however much he may
have been mulcted. They talk of a petition; but,
thank God, there are still such things as recognizances;
and, moreover, to give M’Cleury his due, I do
not think he has left a hole open for them to work
at. He is a thorough rascal, but no man does
better work.
’I find there is already a slight rise in the
West Corks. Keep your eye open. If you find
you can realize L4 4s. or even L4, sell, and let the
West of Cork and Ballydehob go straight to the devil.
We should then be able to do better with our money.
But I doubt of such a sale with so large a stock as
we hold. I got a letter yesterday from that Cork
attorney, and I find that he is quite prepared to
give way about the branch. He wants his price,
of course; and he must have it. When once we have
carried that point, then it will be plain sailing;
our only regret then will be that we didn’t
go further into it. The calls, of course, must
be met; I shall be able to do something in October,
but shall not have a shilling sooner—unless
I sell, which I will not do under 80s.
