My sister-in-law, the Bara Rani, [5] was still young
and had no pretensions to saintliness. Rather,
her talk and jest and laugh inclined to be forward.
The young maids with whom she surrounded herself
were also impudent to a degree. But there was
none to gainsay her—for was not this the
custom of the house? It seemed to me that my
good fortune in having a stainless husband was a special
eyesore to her. He, however, felt more the sorrow
of her lot than the defects of her character.
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1. The mark of Hindu wifehood and the symbol
of all the devotion that it implies.
2. The __sari__ is the dress of the Hindu woman.
3. Taking the dust of the feet is a formal offering
of reverence and is done by lightly touching the feet
of the revered one and then one’s own head with
the same hand. The wife does not ordinarily
do this to the husband.
4. It would not be reckoned good form for the
husband to be continually going into the zenana, except
at particular hours for meals or rest.
5. __Bara__ = Senior; __Chota__ = Junior. In
joint families of rank, though the widows remain entitled
only to a life-interest in their husbands’ share,
their rank remains to them according to seniority,
and the titles “Senior” and “Junior”
continue to distinguish the elder and younger branches,
even though the junior branch be the one in power.
My husband was very eager to take me out of __purdah__.
[6]
One day I said to him: “What do I want
with the outside world?”
“The outside world may want you,” he replied.
“If the outside world has got on so long without
me, it may go on for some time longer. It need
not pine to death for want of me.”
“Let it perish, for all I care! That is
not troubling me. I am thinking about myself.”
“Oh, indeed. Tell me what about yourself?”
My husband was silent, with a smile.
I knew his way, and protested at once: “No,
no, you are not going to run away from me like that!
I want to have this out with you.”
“Can one ever finish a subject with words?”
“Do stop speaking in riddles. Tell me...”
“What I want is, that I should have you, and
you should have me, more fully in the outside world.
That is where we are still in debt to each other.”
“Is anything wanting, then, in the love we have
here at home?”
“Here you are wrapped up in me. You know
neither what you have, nor what you want.”
“I cannot bear to hear you talk like this.”
“I would have you come into the heart of the
outer world and meet reality. Merely going on
with your household duties, living all your life in
the world of household conventions and the drudgery
of household tasks—you were not made for
that! If we meet, and recognize each other,
in the real world, then only will our love be true.”
