The Home and the World eBook

After a pause Sandip addressed me again:  “Goddess, the time has come for me to leave you.  It is well.  The work of your nearness has been done.  By lingering longer it would only become undone again, little by little.  All is lost, if in our greed we try to cheapen that which is the greatest thing on earth.  That which is eternal within the moment only becomes shallow if spread out in time.  We were about to spoil our infinite moment, when it was your uplifted thunderbolt which came to the rescue.  You intervened to save the purity of your own worship—­and in so doing you also saved your worshipper.  In my leave-taking today your worship stands out the biggest thing.  Goddess, I, also, set you free today.  My earthen temple could hold you no longer—­ every moment it was on the point of breaking apart.  Today I depart to worship your larger image in a larger temple.  I can gain you more truly only at a distance from yourself.  Here I had only your favour, there I shall be vouchsafed your boon.”

My jewel-casket was lying on the table.  I held it up aloft as I said:  “I charge you to convey these my jewels to the object of my worship—­to whom I have dedicated them through you.”

My husband remained silent.  Sandip left the room.

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27.  Quotation from the National song—­__Bande Mataram__.

28.  Rudra, the Terrible, a name of Shiva. [Trans.].

XXI

I had just sat down to make some cakes for Amulya when the Bara Rani came upon the scene.  “Oh dear,” she exclaimed, “has it come to this that you must make cakes for your own birthday?”

“Is there no one else for whom I could be making them?” I asked.

“But this is not the day when you should think of feasting others.  It is for us to feast you.  I was just thinking of making something up [29] when I heard the staggering news which completely upset me.  A gang of five or six hundred men, they say, has raided one of our treasuries and made off with six thousand rupees.  Our house will be looted next, they expect.”

I felt greatly relieved.  So it was our own money after all.  I wanted to send for Amulya at once and tell him that he need only hand over those notes to my husband and leave the explanations to me.

“You are a wonderful creature!” my sister-in-law broke out, at the change in my countenance.  “Have you then really no such thing as fear?”

“I cannot believe it,” I said.  “Why should they loot our house?”

“Not believe it, indeed!  Who could have believed that they would attack our treasury, either?”

I made no reply, but bent over my cakes, putting in the cocoa-nut stuffing.

“Well, I’m off,” said the Bara Rani after a prolonged stare at me.  “I must see Brother Nikhil and get something done about sending off my money to Calcutta, before it’s too late.”