The account was still unsatisfactory to Cecilia, who
could frame to herself no possible reason for a visit
so extraordinary, and so totally inconsistent with
his declarations and resolutions.
This, however, was a matter of but little moment,
compared with the other subjects to which the interview
had given rise; Delvile, upon whom so long, though
secretly, her dearest hopes of happiness had rested,
was now become acquainted with his power, and knew
himself the master of her destiny; he had quitted
her avowedly to decide what it should be, since his
present subject of deliberation included her fate
in his own: the next morning he was to call, and
acquaint her with his decree, not doubting her concurrence
which ever way be resolved.
A subjection so undue, and which she could not but
consider as disgraceful, both shocked and afflicted
her; and the reflection that the man who of all men
she preferred, was acquainted with her preference,
yet hesitated whether to accept or abandon her, mortified
and provoked her, alternately, occupied her thoughts
the whole night, and kept her from peace and from
rest.
A PROPOSITION.
Early the next morning, Delvile again made his appearance.
Cecilia, who was at breakfast with Mrs and Miss Charltons,
received him with the most painful confusion, and
he was evidently himself in a state of the utmost
perturbation. Mrs Charlton made a pretence almost
immediately for sending away both her grand-daughters,
and then, without taking the trouble of devising one
for herself, arose and followed them, though Cecilia
made sundry signs of solicitation that she would stay.
Finding herself now alone with him, she hastily, and
without knowing what she said, cried, “How is
Mrs Delvile, Sir? Is she still at Bristol?”
“At Bristol? no; have you never heard she is
returned to Delvile Castle?”
“O, true!—I meant Delvile Castle,—but
I hope she found some benefit from the waters?”
“She had not, I believe, any occasion to try
them.”
Cecilia, ashamed of these two following mistakes,
coloured high; but ventured not again to speak:
and Delvile, who seemed big with something he feared
to utter, arose, and walked for a few instants about
the room; after which, exclaiming aloud “How
vain is every plan which passes the present hour!”
He advanced to Cecilia, who pretended to be looking
at some work, and seating himself next her, “when
we parted yesterday,” he cried, “I presumed
to say one night alone should be given to deliberation,—and
to-day, this very day to action!—but I
forgot that though in deliberating I had only myself
to consult, in acting I was not so independent; and
that when my own doubts were satisfied, and my own
resolutions taken, other doubts and other resolutions
must be considered, by which my purposed proceedings
might be retarded, might perhaps be wholly prevented!”
