“If you think to get off with that, my
man....” But I could not stay still.
I put on the watch and rushed headlong to show my present
to David.
David took the watch, opened it and examined it attentively.
He had great mechanical ability; he liked having to
do with iron, copper, and metals of all sorts; he
had provided himself with various instruments, and
it was nothing for him to mend or even to make a screw,
a key or anything of that kind.
David turned the watch about in his hands and muttering
through his teeth (he was not talkative as a rule):
“Oh ... poor ...” added, “where
did you get it?”
I told him that my godfather had given it me.
David turned his little grey eyes upon me:
“Nastasey?”
“Yes, Nastasey Nastasyeitch.”
David laid the watch on the table and walked away
without a word.
“Do you like it?” I asked.
“Well, it isn’t that.... But if I
were you, I would not take any sort of present from
Nastasey.”
“Why?”
“Because he is a contemptible person; and you
ought not to be under an obligation to a contemptible
person. And to say thank you to him, too.
I suppose you kissed his hand?”
“Yes, Aunt made me.”
David grinned—a peculiar grin—to
himself. That was his way. He never laughed
aloud; he considered laughter a sign of feebleness.
David’s words, his silent grin, wounded me deeply.
“So he inwardly despises me,” I thought.
“So I, too, am contemptible in his eyes.
He would never have stooped to this himself!
He would not have accepted presents from Nastasey.
But what am I to do now?”
Give back the watch? Impossible!
I did try to talk to David, to ask his advice.
He told me that he never gave advice to anyone and
that I had better do as I thought best. As I
thought best!! I remember I did not sleep all
night afterwards: I was in agonies of indecision.
I was sorry to lose the watch—I had laid
it on the little table beside my bed; its ticking
was so pleasant and amusing ... but to feel that David
despised me (yes, it was useless to deceive myself,
he did despise me) ... that seemed to me unbearable.
Towards morning a determination had taken shape in
me ... I wept, it is true—but I fell
asleep upon it, and as soon as I woke up, I dressed
in haste and ran out into the street. I had made
up my mind to give my watch to the first poor person
I met.
I had not run far from home when I hit upon what I
was looking for. I came across a barelegged boy
of ten, a ragged urchin, who was often hanging about
near our house. I dashed up to him at once and,
without giving him or myself time to recover, offered
him my watch.
The boy stared at me round-eyed, put one hand before
his mouth, as though he were afraid of being scalded—and
held out the other.
