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What Is Man? and Other Essays eBook

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Mark Twain

French, Swiss, German, and Italian domestic cigars, and have never cared to inquire what they are made of; and nobody would know, anyhow, perhaps.  There is even a brand of European smoking-tobacco that I like.  It is a brand used by the Italian peasants.  It is loose and dry and black, and looks like tea-grounds.  When the fire is applied it expands, and climbs up and towers above the pipe, and presently tumbles off inside of one’s vest.  The tobacco itself is cheap, but it raises the insurance.  It is as I remarked in the beginning—­the taste for tobacco is a matter of superstition.  There are no standards—­no real standards.  Each man’s preference is the only standard for him, the only one which he can accept, the only one which can command him.

THE BEE

It was Maeterlinck who introduced me to the bee.  I mean, in the psychical and in the poetical way.  I had had a business introduction earlier.  It was when I was a boy.  It is strange that I should remember a formality like that so long; it must be nearly sixty years.

Bee scientists always speak of the bee as she.  It is because all the important bees are of that sex.  In the hive there is one married bee, called the queen; she has fifty thousand children; of these, about one hundred are sons; the rest are daughters.  Some of the daughters are young maids, some are old maids, and all are virgins and remain so.

Every spring the queen comes out of the hive and flies away with one of her sons and marries him.  The honeymoon lasts only an hour or two; then the queen divorces her husband and returns home competent to lay two million eggs.  This will be enough to last the year, but not more than enough, because hundreds of bees are drowned every day, and other hundreds are eaten by birds, and it is the queen’s business to keep the population up to standard—­say, fifty thousand.  She must always have that many children on hand and efficient during the busy season, which is summer, or winter would catch the community short of food.  She lays from two thousand to three thousand eggs a day, according to the demand; and she must exercise judgment, and not lay more than are needed in a slim flower-harvest, nor fewer than are required in a prodigal one, or the board of directors will dethrone her and elect a queen that has more sense.

There are always a few royal heirs in stock and ready to take her place—­ready and more than anxious to do it, although she is their own mother.  These girls are kept by themselves, and are regally fed and tended from birth.  No other bees get such fine food as they get, or live such a high and luxurious life.  By consequence they are larger and longer and sleeker than their working sisters.  And they have a curved sting, shaped like a scimitar, while the others have a straight one.

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What Is Man? and Other Essays from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.

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