Yollop eBook

George Barr McCutcheon
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 95 pages of information about Yollop.

Yollop eBook

George Barr McCutcheon
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 95 pages of information about Yollop.

“They general fall for dearie,” said Mr. Smilk, taking down the receiver.

“Be good enough to remember that you are calling from my apartment,” said Mr. Yollop severely.  “Jiggle it.”

Mr. Smilk jiggled it.  “I guess she’s still mad.”

“Jiggle it slowly, tenderly, caressingly.  Sort of seductively.  Don’t be so savage about it.”

“Hello!  Central?  What number do I have to call to get Spring 3100? ...  I’m not trying to be fresh:  ...  Yes, that’s what I want ...  I know the book says to tell you ‘I want to call a policeman’ but—­ ...  Yes, there’s a burglar in my apartment and I want you to—­What’s that? ...  I don’t want to go to bed. ...  Say, now you’re gettin’ fresh.  You give me police—­”

“Tell her I’ve got you surrounded,” whispered Mr. Yollop.

“Hello!  Hell—­lo!  Central!”

“Jiggle it.”

“Ah, Mademoiselle!  Pardon my—­”

Voice at the other end of the wire:  “Ring off!  You’ve got wrong number.  This is police headquarters.”  Audible sound of distant receiver being slapped upon its hook.

“Gee whiz!  Now, we’re up against it, Mister.  We’ll be all night gettin’ Central again.”

“Be patient, Cassius.  Start all over again.  Ask for the morgue this time.  That will make her realize the grave danger you are in.”

“Say, I wish you’d put that gun in your pocket.  It makes the goose flesh creep out all over me.  I’m not going to try to get away.  Give you my word of honor I ain’t.  You seem to have some sort of idea that I don’t want to be arrested.”

“I confess I had some such idea, Cassius.”

“Well, I don’t mind it a bit.  Fact is, I’ve been doin’ my best to get nabbed for the last three months.”

“You have?”

“Sure.  The trouble is with the police.  They somehow seem to overlook me, no matter how open I am about it.  I suppose I’ve committed twenty burglaries in the past three months and I’ll be cussed if I can make ’em understand.  Take to-night, for instance.  I clumb up that fire escape,—­this is the third floor, ain’t it?—­I clumb up here with a big electric street light shinin’ square on my back, —­why, darn the luck, I had to turn my back on it ’cause the light hurt my eyes,—­and there were two cops standin’ right down below here talkin’ about the crime wave bein’ all bunk, both of ’em arguin’ that the best proof that there ain’t no crime wave is the fact that the jails are only half full, showin’ that the city is gettin’ more and more honest all the time.  I could hear ’em plain as anything.  They were talkin’ loud, so as to make everybody in this buildin’ rest easy, I guess.  I stopped at the second floor and monkeyed with the window, hopin’ to attract their attention.  Didn’t work.  So I had to climb up another flight.  This window of yours was up about six inches, so there wasn’t anything for me to do but to raise it and come in.  What I had in mind was to stick my head out after a minute or two and yell ‘thieves’, ‘police’, and so on.  Then before I knowed what was happenin’, you walks in, switches on the light, and comes straight over and biffs me in the jaw.  Does that look as if I was tryin’ to avoid arrest?”

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Project Gutenberg
Yollop from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.