Yollop eBook

George Barr McCutcheon
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 95 pages of information about Yollop.

Yollop eBook

George Barr McCutcheon
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 95 pages of information about Yollop.
See that you do.”  Turning to Mr. Yollop, he said:  “The police are a pretty decent lot when you get to know ’em, Mr. Yollop.  They do their share towards enforcin’ the law.  They do their best to get us the limit.  The trouble is, they got to fight tooth and nail against almost everybody that ain’t on the police force.  Specially jurymen.  There ain’t a juryman in New York City that wants to believe a policeman on oath.  He’d sooner believe a crook, any day.  And sometimes the judges are worse than the juries.  A pal of mine, bein’ in considerable of a hurry to get back home one very cold winter, figured that if he went up and plead guilty before a judge he’d save a lot of time.  Well, sir, the doggone judge looked him over for a minute or two, and suddenly, out of a clear sky, asked him if he had a family,—­and when he acknowledged, being an honest though ignorant guy, that he had a wife and three children, the judge said, if he’d promise to go out and earn a livin’ for them he’d let him off with a suspended sentence, and before he had a chance to say he’d be damned if he’d make any such fool promise, the bailiff hustled him out the runway and told him to ‘beat it’.  He had to go out and slug a poor old widow woman and rob her of all the money she’d saved since her husband died—­say, that reminds me.  I got a favor I’d like to ask of you, Mr. Yollop.”

“I’m inclined to grant almost any favor you may ask,” said Mr. Yollop, sympathetically.  “I know how miserable you must feel, Cassius, and how hard life is for you.  Do you want me to shoot you?”

“No, I don’t,” exclaimed Mr. Smilk hastily.  “I want you to take my roll of bills and hide it before the police come.  That ain’t much to ask, is it?”

“Bless my soul!  How extraordinary!”

“There’s something over six hundred dollars in the roll,” went on Cassius confidentially.  “It ain’t that I’m afraid the cops will grab it for themselves, understand.  But, you see, it’s like this.  The first thing the judge asks you when you are arraigned is whether you got the means to employ a lawyer.  If you ain’t, he appoints some one and it don’t cost you a cent.  Now, if I go down to the Tombs with all this money, why, by gosh, it will cost me just that much to get sent to Sing Sing, ’cause whatever you’ve got in the shape of real money is exactly what your lawyer’s fee will be, and it don’t seem sensible to spend all that money to get sent up when you can obtain the same result for nothin’.  Ain’t that so?”

“It sounds reasonable, Cassius.  You appear to be a thrifty as well as an honest fellow.  But, may I be permitted to ask what the devil you are doing with six hundred dollars on your person while actively engaged in the pursuit of your usual avocation?  Why didn’t you leave it at home?”

“Home?  My God, man, don’t you know it ain’t safe these days to have a lot of money around the house?  With all these burglaries going on?  Not on your life.  Even if I had had all this dough when I left home to-night, I wouldn’t have taken any such chance as leavin’ it there.  The feller I’m roomin’ with is figurin’ on turning over a new leaf; he’s thinkin’ of gettin’ married for five or six months and I don’t think he could stand temptation.”

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Yollop from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.