Eustace, curiously enough, was not very nervous on the first night.  He was fairly certain that he was word-perfect; and if only the ostrich didn’t kick him in the back of the neck—­as it had tried to once at rehearsal—­the evening seemed likely to be a triumph for him.  And so it was with a feeling of pleasurable anticipation that, on the morning after, he gathered the papers round him at breakfast, and prepared to read what the critics had to say.

He had a remarkable Press.  I give a few examples of the notices he obtained from the leading papers: 

“Mr Eustace Merrowby was Tommy.”—­Daily Telegraph.

“The cast included Mr Eustace Merrowby.”—­Times.

“...  Mr Eustace Merrowby...”—­Daily Chronicle.

“We have no space in which to mention all the other performers.”—­Morning Leader.

“This criticism only concerns the two actors we have mentioned, and does not apply to the rest of the cast.”—­Sportsman.

“Where all were so good, it would be invidious to single out anybody for special praise.”—­Daily Mail.

“The acting deserved a better play.”—­Daily News.

“...  Tommy...”—­Morning Post.

As Eustace read the papers, he felt that his future was secure.  True, The Era, careful never to miss a single performer, had yet to say, “Mr Eustace Merrowby was capital as Tommy,” and The Stage, “Tommy was capitally played by Mr Eustace Merrowby”; but even without this he had become one of the Men who Count—­one whose private life was of more interest to the public than that of any scientist, general or diplomat in the country.

Into Eustace Merrowby’s subsequent career I cannot go at full length.  It is perhaps as a member of the Garrick Club that he has attained his fullest development.  All the good things of the Garrick which were not previously said by Sydney Smith may safely be put down to Eustace; and there is no doubt that he is the ringleader in all the subtler practical jokes which have made the club famous.  It was he who pinned to the back of an unpopular member of the committee a sheet of paper bearing the words

KICK ME

—­and the occasion on which he drew the chair from beneath a certain eminent author as the latter was about to sit down is still referred to hilariously by the older members.

Finally, as a convincing proof of his greatness, let it be said that everybody has at least heard the name “Eustace Merrowby”—­even though some may be under the impression that it is the trade-mark of a sauce; and that half the young ladies of Wandsworth Common and Winchmore Hill are in love with him.  If this be not success, what is?

THE YOUNGER SON

It is a hard thing to be the younger son of an ancient but impoverished family.  The fact that your brother Thomas is taking most of the dibs restricts your inheritance to a paltry two thousand a year, while pride of blood forbids you to supplement this by following any of the common professions.  Impossible for a St Verax to be a doctor, a policeman or an architect.  He must find some nobler means of existence.