Getting Married eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 213 pages of information about Getting Married.

Getting Married eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 213 pages of information about Getting Married.
clergyman’s wife, and, being young and inexperienced, declares his feelings, and claims that he, and not the clergyman, is the more suitable mate for the lady.  The clergyman, who has a temper, is first tempted to hurl the youth into the street by bodily violence:  an impulse natural, perhaps, but vulgar and improper, and, not open, on consideration, to decent men.  Even coarse and inconsiderate men are restrained from it by the fact that the sympathy of the woman turns naturally to the victim of physical brutality and against the bully, the Thackerayan notion to the contrary being one of the illusions of literary masculinity.  Besides, the husband is not necessarily the stronger man:  an appeal to force has resulted in the ignominious defeat of the husband quite as often as in poetic justice as conceived in the conventional novelet.  What an honorable and sensible man does when his household is invaded is what the Reverend James Mavor Morell does in my play.  He recognizes that just as there is not room for two women in that sacredly intimate relation of sentimental domesticity which is what marriage means to him, so there is no room for two men in that relation with his wife; and he accordingly tells her firmly that she must choose which man will occupy the place that is large enough for one only.  He is so far shrewdly unconventional as to recognize that if she chooses the other man, he must give way, legal tie or no legal tie; but he knows that either one or the other must go.  And a sensible wife would act in the same way.  If a romantic young lady came into her house and proposed to adore her husband on a tolerated footing, she would say “My husband has not room in his life for two wives:  either you go out of the house or I go out of it.”  The situation is not at all unlikely:  I had almost said not at all unusual.  Young ladies and gentlemen in the greensickly condition which is called calf-love, associating with married couples at dangerous periods of mature life, quite often find themselves in it; and the extreme reluctance of proud and sensitive people to avoid any assertion of matrimonial rights, or to condescend to jealousy, sometimes makes the threatened husband or wife hesitate to take prompt steps and do the apparently conventional thing.  But whether they hesitate or act the result is always the same.  In a real marriage of sentiment the wife or husband cannot be supplanted by halves; and such a marriage will break very soon under the strain of polygyny or polyandry.  What we want at present is a sufficiently clear teaching of this fact to ensure that prompt and decisive action shall always be taken in such cases without any false shame of seeming conventional (a shame to which people capable of such real marriage are specially susceptible), and a rational divorce law to enable the marriage to be dissolved and the parties honorably resorted and recoupled without disgrace and scandal if that should prove the proper solution.

Copyrights
Project Gutenberg
Getting Married from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.