The Ne'er-Do-Well eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 463 pages of information about The Ne'er-Do-Well.

The Ne'er-Do-Well eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 463 pages of information about The Ne'er-Do-Well.

“Poor Mr. Weeks!”

“Why poor?”

“He is terribly agitated to learn that we came to your rescue.  He knows now that he really entertained an angel unaware, and his grief of soul is comical.”

“Weeks isn’t such a bad sort.”

But her eyes showed a sudden flash of anger as she returned:  “He deserves to be forced out of the service.”

“That wouldn’t do any good.  His successor might be worse.”

“Haven’t you any resentment?  I dislike placid people!”

“Plenty!  If I get a crack at Alfarez—–­”

“Now don’t allow your mind to dwell on that,” she cautioned.  “I think he is riding to a fall, as it is.  What do you want to do?”

“Anything.  I’m going to hunt a job this afternoon.”

“What sort?”

“Something with big pay and no responsibility.”

“Those positions are taken—­by the army,” she laughed.  “What can you do?”

“I can take an automobile apart.”

“And put it together again?”

“Oh no!  I can sail a boat; I shoot pretty well; I waltz nicely; I row, swim, and box indifferently; and I play an atrocious hand at poker.”

Mrs. Cortlandt nodded gravely.  “You are also good company, you dress well, and you are an ornament to any hotel porch.”

“Naturally, I refrained from mentioning those things, but, in addition, I smoke, drink, and swear.  I am unsteady in my habits, and require a great deal of sleep.  I think that completes the inventory.”

“Of course, you will live beyond your salary?”

“Undoubtedly.”

“Seriously, now, don’t you really—–?”

“Go ahead.  Say it!  Don’t I know anything?  No.  I am too highly educated.  You see, I took the full college course.”

She drew her sharply pencilled brows together and pursed her lips in meditation, regarding him meanwhile with a, look that was not all disapproval.

“Am I hopeless?” he inquired at length.

“Dear, no!  Experience is a good thing, of course, and ability is even better, but neither is absolutely necessary in government work.”

“Oh!”

“Provided—–­”

“What?”

“—­You have influence.  I was merely trying to think of the niche into which you would best fit.”

“When a fellow hasn’t any of those qualifications, then what?  Take me, for instance.”

“You have at least one.”

“Which one?”

“Influence.”

He shook his head.  “My father wouldn’t help.”

“We’ll have no difficulty in finding you a position.”

“Jove!  That’s good news.”  He beamed at her with gratified surprise.  “I had an idea I’d be going from door to door.”

“How ridiculous!  This is a government job; therefore it is saturated with politics.  There are a great many good men on it, but there are also a large number of ‘somebody’s relatives.’  Do you understand?  Anything is possible here for a man with influence.  If he has ability with it, he can go to the top.  If he lacks ability—­well, even then he can go to the top—­it depends entirely upon the influence.”

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Project Gutenberg
The Ne'er-Do-Well from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.