MISS CAREY: Good Lord, woman, now you’re commencing with another. Who is it?
ANGELA: Surely you must have foreseen my danger—I’m in love with your boarder.
MISS CAREY: Why, you must be crazy—girl—I won’t let you enter into such a madness.
ANGELA: (In horror.) Oh Miss Carey, don’t tell me you’re in love with him yourself. (MISS CAREY sinks in chair.) But you’ll not get him.
MISS CAREY: Why, my dear, I wouldn’t have him for a birth-day present and neither will you. (After an ad lib. argument.) We’ll see. (She calls off in next room.) Fire! Fire!! Fire!!!
(ANGELA gets scared and starts to run one way as FRED runs in—in canton flannels without toupee, etc., etc. ANGELA flops. After audience has seen FRED’S condition, he realizes presence of ladies and rushes back to door—sticking his head out.)
FRED: Where? Where’s the fire?
MISS CAREY: Go back to your bed, Mr. Saltus.
(With a look at
ANGELA.) There was a fire.
ANGELA: (Disgusted.) But Miss Carey—has—put—it—out.
(On word “out” she gestures him out of
room and out of her life.
FRED closes door as he withdraws head.)
ANGELA: Oh Miss Carey, what an awful lollard that is. (There is a ring at bell.)
(Music commences sweet melody.)
MISS CAREY: (Knowing it is HARRY.) Open the door and see who it is.
(ANGELA opens the door—HARRY stands there in regimentals—handsome, young and dapper. ANGELA falls back in admiration.)
ANGELA: Oh, Harry darling!
MISS CAREY: He does look good!
ANGELA: (As she picks up her belongings.) I’m going home with you.
MISS CAREY: (As ANGELA goes up to HARRY.) Don’t forget your tea dress. (Hands her the little bag.)
ANGELA: I’m so tired, Harry—take me home. (He lifts his tired little wife up in his arms and as he goes out, she mutters:) You’re not such a bad lollard after all.
MISS CAREY: (Going to put out light.) Now, thank Gawd, I’ll get a little sleep.
A ONE-ACT PLAY
RICHARD HARDING DAVIS
Author of “Van Bibber Stories,” “Soldiers
The Playlets, “The Littlest Girl,” played by Robert
Hilliard for ten years, “Miss Civilization,” etc., and
many full-evening plays.
RICHARD FALLON, a millionaire mine owner.
“LOU” MOHUN, a crook.
KELLY, a Pinkerton detective.