In other—­and less extreme—­words, if you contemplate writing for vaudeville for your bread and butter, you must bring to the business, if not genius, at least the ability to think, and if not boundless energy, at any rate a determination never to rest content with the working hours of the ordinary professions.

If you suppose that the mere reading of this book is going to make you able to think, permit me gently to disillusion you; and if you are imbued with the flattering faith that after studying these chapters you will suddenly be able to sit down and write a successful playlet, monologue, two-act, musical comedy libretto, or even a good little “gag,” in the words of classic vaudeville—­forget it!  All this book can do for you—­all any instruction can do—­is to show you the right path, show precisely how others have successfully essayed it, and wish you luck.  Do you remember the brave lines of W. E. Henley, the blind English poet: 

Out of the night that covers me,
  Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
  For my unconquerable soul.

And again in the same poem, “Invictus”: 

I am the master of my fate: 
  I am the captain of my soul.

There sings the spirit that will carry a writer to success in vaudeville or in any other line of writing; and it is this inspired attitude you should assume toward the present book of instruction.

These chapters, carefully designed and painstakingly arranged, contain information and suggestions which, if studied and applied by the right person, will help him to a mastery of vaudeville writing.  But they should be viewed not as laying down rules, only as being suggestive.  This book cannot teach you how to write—­with its aid you may be able to teach yourself.

Are you the sort of person likely to make a success of writing for vaudeville?  You, alone, can determine.  But the following discussion of some of the elements of equipment which anyone purposing to write for vaudeville should possess, may help you find the answer.

1.  Experience in Other Forms of Writing Valuable

Let us suppose that you have been engaged in writing for a newspaper for years.  You started as a reporter and because of your unusual ability in the handling of political news have made politics your specialty.  You have been doing nothing but politics until politics seems to be all you know.  Suddenly the sporting editor falls ill, and at the moment there is no one to take his place but you.  Your assistant takes over your work and you are instructed to turn out a daily page of sporting news.

If you knew nothing at all about writing you would find the task nearly impossible to accomplish.  But you do know how to write and therefore the mere writing does not worry you.  And your experience as a special writer on politics has taught you that there are certain points all special newspaper work has in common and you apply your knowledge to the task before you.