O dire corruption, age of wretched ways! 
          What strange caprice such management displays! 
          Shall we permit this fatal pow’r to reign? 
          Base int’rest’s impulse:  hideous modern stain;
          The curse of ev’ry tender soft delight,
          That charms the soul and fascinates the sight.

          Buttruce to moral; let’s our tale resume;
          The daughter scared; the father in a fume;
          What could be done the evil to repair,
          And hide the sad misfortune of the fair? 
          What method seek?—­They married her in haste;
          But not to him who had the belle debased,
          For reasons I’ve sufficiently detailed;
          To gain her hand a certain wight prevailed,
          Who store of riches relished far above
          The charms of beauty, warmed with fondest love. 
          Save this the man might well enough be thought: 
          In family and wealth just what was sought;
          But whether fool or not, I cannot trace,
          Since he was unacquainted with the case;
          And if he’d known it, was the bargain bad? 
          Full twenty thousand pounds he with her had
          A sprightly youthful wife to ease his care,
          And with him ev’ry luxury to share.

          Howmany tempted by the golden ore,
          Have taken wives whose slips they know before;
          And this good man the lady chaste believed,
          So truly well she managed and deceived. 
          But when four months had passed, the fair-one showed. 
          How very much she to her lessons owed;
          A little girl arrived:  the husband stared
          Cried he, what father of a child declared! 
          The time’s too short:  four months!  I’m taken in! 
          A family should not so soon begin.

          Awayhe to the lady’s father flew,
          And of his shame a horrid picture drew;
          Proposed to be divorced:  much rage disclosed;
          The parent smiled and said, pray be composed;
          Speak not so loud:  we may be overheard,
          And privacy is much to be preferred. 
          A son-in-law, like you, I once appeared,
          And similar misfortune justly feared;
          Complaint I made, and mentioned a divorce;
          Of heat and rage the ordinary course.

          Thefather of my wife, who’s now no more,
          (Heav’n guard his soul, the loss I oft deplore,)
          A prudent honest man as any round,
          To calm my mind, a nice specifick found;
          The pill was rather bitter, I admit;
          But gilding made it for the stomach fit,
          Which he knew how to manage very well: 
          No doctor in it him could e’er excel;
          To satisfy my scruples he displayed