The following sections of this BookRags Literature Study Guide is offprint from Gale's For Students Series: Presenting Analysis, Context, and Criticism on Commonly Studied Works: Introduction, Author Biography, Plot Summary, Characters, Themes, Style, Historical Context, Critical Overview, Criticism and Critical Essays, Media Adaptations, Topics for Further Study, Compare & Contrast, What Do I Read Next?, For Further Study, and Sources.
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The following sections, if they exist, are offprint from Beacham's Encyclopedia of Popular Fiction: "Social Concerns", "Thematic Overview", "Techniques", "Literary Precedents", "Key Questions", "Related Titles", "Adaptations", "Related Web Sites". (c)1994-2005, by Walton Beacham.
The following sections, if they exist, are offprint from Beacham's Guide to Literature for Young Adults: "About the Author", "Overview", "Setting", "Literary Qualities", "Social Sensitivity", "Topics for Discussion", "Ideas for Reports and Papers". (c)1994-2005, by Walton Beacham.
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A Famous painter, jealous of his wife;
Whose charms he valued more than fame or life,
When going on a journey used his art,
To paint an ass upon a certain part,
(Umbilical, ’tis said) and like a seal:
Impressive token, nothing thence to steal.
A brother brush, enamoured of the dame;
Now took advantage, and declared his flame:
The Ass effaced, but God knows how ’twas done;
Another soon howe’er he had begun,
And finished well, upon the very spot;
In painting, few more praises ever got;
But want of recollection made him place
A saddle, where before he none could trace.
Thehusband, when returned, desired to look
At
what he drew, when leave he lately took.
Yes,
see my dear, the wily wife replied,
The
Ass is witness, faithful I abide.
Zounds!
said the painter, when he got a sight,—
What!—you’d
persuade me ev’ry thing is right?
I
wish the witness you display so well,
And
him who saddled it, were both in Hell.
The ear-maker and the mould-Mender
When William went from home (a trader styled):
Six months his better half he left with child,
A simple, comely, modest, youthful dame,
Whose name was Alice; from Champaign she came.
Her neighbour Andrew visits now would pay;
With what intention, needless ’tis to say:
A master who but rarely spread his net,
But, first or last, with full success he met;
And cunning was the bird that ’scaped his snare;
Without surrendering a feather there.
Quiteraw was Alice; for his purpose fit;
Not
overburdened with a store of wit;
Of
this indeed she could not be accused,
And
Cupid’s wiles by her were never used;
Poor
lady, all with her was honest part,
And
naught she knew of stratagem or art.
Herhusband then away, and she alone,
This
neighbour came, and in a whining tone,
To
her observed, when compliments were o’er:—
I’m
all astonishment, and you deplore,
To
find that neighbour William’s gone from hence,
And
left your child’s completing in suspense,
Which
now you bear within, and much I fear,
That
when ’tis born you’ll find it wants an
ear.
Your
looks sufficiently the fact proclaim,
For
many instances I’ve known the same.
Good
heav’ns! replied the lady in a fright;
What
say you, pray?—the infant won’t be
right!
Shall
I be mother to a one-eared child?
And
know you no relief that’s certain styled?
Oh
yes, there is, rejoined the crafty knave,
Nextday, when tardy Time had marked the hour;
That
Andrew hoped again to use his pow’r,
He
was not plunged in sleep, but briskly flew,
His
purpose with the charmer to pursue.
Said
he, all other things aside I’ve laid,
This
ear to finish, and to lend you aid.
And
I, the dame replied, was on the eve,
To
send and beg you not the job to leave;
Above
stairs let us go:—away they ran,
And
quickly recommenced as they began.
The
work so oft was smoothed, that Alice showed
Some
scruples lest the ear he had bestowed
Should
do too much, and to the wily wight,
She
said, so little you the labour slight,
’Twere
well if ears no more than two appear;
Of
that, rejoined the other, never fear;
I’ve
guarded thoroughly against defects,
Mistake
like that shall ne’er your senses vex.
Theear howe’er was still in hand the same,
When
from his journey home the husband came.
Saluted
Alice, who with anxious look,
Exclaimed,—your
work how finely you forsook,
And,
but for neighbour Andrew’s kindness here,
Our
child would incomplete have been—an ear,
I
could not let a thing remain like this,
And
Andrew would not be to friends remiss,
But,
worthy man, he left his thriving trade,
And
for the babe a proper ear has made.
Thehusband, not conceiving how his wife,
Could
be so weak and ignorant of life,
The
circumstances made her fully tell,
Repeat
them o’er and on each action dwell.
Enraged
at length, a pistol by the bed
He
seized and swore at once he’d shoot her dead.
The
belle with tears replied, howe’er she’d
swerved,
Such
cruel treatment never she deserved.
Her
innocence, and simple, gentle way,
At
length appeared his frantick rage to lay.
What
injury, continued she, is done?
The
strictest scrutiny I would not shun;
Your
goods and money, ev’ry thing is right;
And
Andrew told me, nothing he would slight;
That
you would find much more than you could want;
And
this I hope to me you’ll freely grant;
If
falsehood I advance, my life I’ll lose;
Your
equity, I trust, will me excuse.
A
little cooled, then William thus replied,
We’ll
say no more; you have been drawn aside;
What
passed you fancied acting for the best,
And
I’ll consent to put the thing at rest;
To
nothing good such altercations tend;
I’ve
but a word: to that attention lend;
Contrive
to-morrow that I here entrap
This
fellow who has caused your sad mishap;
You’ll
utter not a word of what I’ve said;
Be
secret or at once I’ll strike you dead.
Adroitly
you must act: for instance say;
I’m
on a second journey gone away;
A
message or a letter to him send,
Soliciting
that he’ll on you attend,
That
something you have got to let him know;—
To
come, no doubt, the rascal won’t be slow;
Amuse
him then with converse most absurd,
But
of the ear remember,—not a word;
That’s
finished now, and nothing can require;
You’ll
carefully perform what I desire.
Poor
innocent! the point she nicely hit;
Fear
oft gives simpletons a sort of wit.
Thearch gallant arrived; the husband came
Ascended
to the room where sat his dame;
Much
noise he made, his coming to announce;
The
lover, terrified, began to bounce;
Now
here, now there, no shelter could he meet;
Between
the bed and wall he put his feet,
And
lay concealed, while William loudly knocked;
Fair
Alice readily the door unlocked,
And,
pointing with her hand, informed the spouse,
Where
he might easily his rival rouse.
Thehusband ev’ry way was armed so well,
He
four such men as Andrew could repel;
In
quest of succour howsoe’er he went:
To
kill him surely William never meant,
But
only take an ear, or what the Turks,
Those
savage beasts, cut off from Nature’s works;
Which
doubtless must be infinitely worse
Infernal
practice and continual curse.
’Twas
this he whispered should be Andrew’s doom,
When
with his easy wife he left the room;
She
nothing durst reply: the door he shut,
And
our gallant ’gan presently to strut,
Around
and round, believing all was right,
And
William unacquainted with his plight.
Thelatter having well the project weighed,
Now
changed his plan, and other schemes surveyed;
Proposed
within himself revenge to take,
With
less parade:—less noise it then would make,
And
better fruit the action would produce,
Than
if he were apparently profuse.
Said
he to Alice, go and seek his wife;
To
her relate the whole that caused our strife;
Minutely
all from first to last detail;
And
then the better on her to prevail,
To
hasten here, you’ll hint that you have fears,
That
Andrew risks the loss of—more than ears,
For
I have punishment severe in view,
Which
greatly she must wish I should not do;
But
if an ear-maker, like this, is caught,
The
worst of chastisement is always sought;
Such
horrid things as scarcely can be said:
They
make the hair to stand upon the head;
That
he’s upon the point of suff’ring straight,
And
only for her presence things await;
That
though she cannot all proceedings stay,
Perhaps
she may some portion take away.
Go,
bring her instantly, haste quickly, run;
And,
if she comes, I’ll pardon what’s been done.
Withjoy to Andrew’s house fair Alice went;
The
wife to follow her appeared content;
Quite
out of breath, alone she ran up stairs,
And,
not perceiving him who shared her cares;
Believed
he was imprisoned in a room;
And
while with fear she trembled for his doom;
The
master (having laid aside his arms)
Now
came to compliment the lady’s charms;
He
gave the belle a chair, who looked most nice:—
Said
he, ingratitude’s the worst of vice;
To
me your husband has been wondrous kind;
So
many services has done I find,
That,
ere you leave this house, I’d wish to make
A
little return, and this you will partake.
The,
lady patiently his process bore,
And
blessed her stars that Andrew’s risk was o’er
That
she had thus the dire return received,
And
saved the man for whom her bosom grieved.
So
much emotion William seemed to feel,
No
grace he gave, but all performed with zeal;
Retaliated
ev’ry way so well,
He
measure gave for measure:—ell for ell.
How
true the adage, that revenge is sweet!
The
plan he followed clearly was discrete;
For
since he wished his honour to repair:—
Of
any better way I’m not aware.
Thewhole without a murmur Andrew viewed,
And
thanked kind Heav’n that nothing worse ensued;
One
ear most readily he would have lost,
Could
he be certain that would pay the cost.
He
thought ’twould lucky be, could he get out,
For
all considered, better ’twere no doubt,
Howe’er
ridiculous the thing appears,
To
have a pair of horns than lose his ears.
ETEXT EDITOR’S BOOKMARKS:
Not overburdened with a store of wit
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