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Table of Contents | |
Section | Page |
Start of eBook | 1 |
Title: The Tales and Novels, v4: The Old Man’s Calendar and Others | 1 |
ETEXT EDITOR’S BOOKMARKS: | 10 |
Information about Project Gutenberg (one page) | 10 |
(Three Pages) | 12 |
Author: Jean de La Fontaine
Release Date: March, 2004 [EBook #5278] [Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] [This file was first posted on June 14, 2002]
Edition: 10
Language: English
Character set encoding: ASCII
*** Start of the project gutenberg EBOOK tales and novels of Fontaine, V4 ***
This eBook was produced by David Widger widger@cecomet.net
[Note: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of the file for those who may wish to sample the author’s ideas before making an entire meal of them. D.W.]
The tales
and novels
of
J. De La Fontaine
Volume 4.
Contains:
The Old Man’s Calendar
The Avaricious Wife and Tricking Galant
The Jealous Husband
The Gascon Unpunished]
The old man’s calendar
Oft have I seen in wedlock with surprise,
That most forgot from which true bliss would rise
When marriage for a daughter is designed,
The parents solely riches seem to mind;
All other boons are left to heav’n above,
And sweet Sixteen must sixty learn to love!
Yet still in other things they nicer seem,
Their chariot-horses and their oxen-team
Are truly matched;—in height exact are these,
While those each shade alike must have to please;
Without the choice ’twere wonderful to find,
Or coach or wagon travel to their mind.
The marriage journey full of cares appears,
When couples match in neither souls nor years!
An instance of the kind I’ll now detail:
The feeling bosom will such lots bewail!
Quinzica,
(Richard), as the story goes,
Indulged
his wife at balls, and feasts, and shows,
Expecting
other duties she’d forget,
In
which howe’er he disappointment met.
A
judge in Pisa, Richard was, it seems,
In
law most learned: wily in his schemes;
But
silver beard and locks too clearly told,
He
ought to have a wife of diff’rent mould;
Though
he had taken one of noble birth,
Quite
young, most beautiful, and formed for mirth,
Bartholomea
Galandi her name;
The
lady’s parents were of rank and fame;
Our
judge herein had little wisdom shown,
And
sneering friends around were often known
To
say, his children ne’er could fathers lack:
At
giving counsel some have got a knack,
Who,
were they but at home to turn their eyes,
Might
find, perhaps, they’re not so over-wise.
Quinzica,
then perceiving that his pow’rs
Fell
short of what a bird like his devours,
T’excuse
himself and satisfy his dear,
Pretended
that, no day within the year,
To
Hymen, as a saint, was e’er assigned,
In
calendar, or book of any kind,
When
full attention to the god was paid:—
To
aged sires a nice convenient aid;
But
this the sex by no means fancy right;
Few
days to pleasure could his heart invite
At
times, the week entire he’d have a fast;
At
others, say the day ’mong saints was classed,
Though
no one ever heard its holy name;—
fast
ev’ry Friday—Saturday the same,
Since
Sunday followed, consecrated day;
Then
Monday came:—still he’d abstain from
play;
Each
morning find excuse, but solemn feasts
Were
days most sacred held by all the priests;
On
abstinence, then, Richard lectures read,
And
long before the time, was always led
By
sense of right, from dainties to refrain:
A
period afterward would also gain;
The
like observed before and after Lent;
And
ev’ry feast had got the same extent;
These
times were gracious for our aged man;
And
never pass them was his constant plan.
Ofpatron saints he always had a list;
Th’
evangelists, apostles, none he miss’d;
And
that his scruples might have constant food;
Some
days malign, he said, were understood;
Then
foggy weather;—dog-days’ fervent heat:
To
seek excuses he was most complete,
And
ne’er asham’d but manag’d things
so well,
Four
times a year, by special grace, they tell,
Our
sage regal’d his youthful blooming wife,
A
little with the sweets of marriage life.
Withthis exception he was truly kind,
Fine
dresses, jewels, all to please her mind;
But
these are bawbles which alone controul
Those
belles, like dolls, mere bodies void of soul.
Bartholomea
was of diff’rent clay;
Her
only pleasure (as our hist’ries say),
To
go in summer to the neighb’ring coast,
Where
her good spouse a charming house could boast,
In
which they took their lodging once a week;
At
times they pleasure on the waves would seek,
As
fishing with the lady would agree,
And
she was wond’rous partial to the sea,
Though
far to sail they always would refuse.
One
day it happened better to amuse,
Our
couple diff’rent fishing vessels took,
And
skimm’d the wave to try who most could hook,
Of
fish and pleasure; and they laid a bet,
The
greatest number which of them should get.
On
board they had a man or two at most.
And
each the best adventure hop’d to boast.
A
certain pirate soon observ’d the ship,
In
which this charming lady made the trip,
And
presently attack’d and seiz’d the same;
But
Richard’s bark to shore in safety came;
So
near the land, or else he would not brave,
To
any great extent, the stormy wave,
Or
that the robber thought if both he took,
He
could not decently for favours look,
And
he preferr’d those joys the fair bestow,
To
all the riches which to mortals flow.
Althougha pirate, he had always shown
Much
honour in his acts, as well was known;
But
Cupid’s frolicks were his heart’s delight:
None
truly brave can ever beauty slight;
A
sailor’s always bold and kind and free,
Good
lib’ral fellows, such they’ll ever be;
’Mong
saints indeed ’twere vain their names to seek!
The
man was good howe’er of whom we speak;
His
usual name was Pagamin Montegue;
For
hours the lady’s screams were heard a league,
While
he each minute anxiously would seize,
To
cheer her spirits and her heart to please;
T’attain
his wish he ev’ry art combined;
At
length the lovely captive all resigned.
’Twas
Cupid conquer’d, Cupid with his dart;
A
thousand times more pirate in his art,
Than
Pagamin; on bleeding hearts he preys,
But
little quarter gives, nor grace displays:
To
pay her ransom she’d enough of gold;
For
this her spouse was truly never cold;
No
fast nor festival therein appear’d,
And
her captivity he greatly fear’d.
Thiscalendar o’erspread with rubrick days;
She
soon forgot and learn’d the pirate’s ways;
The
matrimonial zone aside was thrown,
And
only mentioned where the fact was known:
Ourlawyer would his fingers sooner burn;
Than
have his wife but virtuous home return;
By
means of gold he entertain’d no doubt,
Her
restoration might be brought about.
A
passport from the pirate he obtain’d,
Then
waited on him and his wish explain’d;
To
pay he offer’d what soe’er he’d ask;
His
terms accept, though hard perhaps the task;
Therobber answer’d, if my name around,
Be
not for honourable acts renown’d,
’Tis
quite unjust:—your partner I’ll restore
In
health, without a ransom:—would you more?
A
friendship so respect’d, heav’n forefend!
Should
ever, by my conduct, have an end.
The
fair, whom you so ardently admire,
Shall
to your arms return as you desire,
Thesage replied, your conduct’s truly wise;
Such
wond’rous kindness fills me with surprise;
But
since ’tis said that every trade must live,
The
sum just mention:—I’ll the ransom
give;
No
compliment I wish, my purse behold
You
know the money presently is told;
Consider
me a stranger now I pray;
With
you I’d equal probity display,
And
so will act, I swear, as you shall see;
There
’s not a doubt the fair will go with me;
My
word for this I would not have you take:—
You’ll
see how happy ’twill the lady make
To
find me here; to my embrace she’ll fly;
My
only fears—that she of joy will die.
To
them the charmer now was instant brought,
Who
eyed her husband as beneath a thought;
Received
him coldly, just as if he’d been
A
stranger from Peru, she ne’er had seen.
Look,
said Quinzica, she’s ashamed ’tis plain
So
many lookers on her love restrain;
But
be assured, if we were left alone,
Around
my neck her arms would soon be thrown.
Ifthis, replied the pirate, you believe,
Attend
her toilet:—naught can then deceive.
Away
they went, and closely shut the door;
When
Richard said, thou darling of my store,
How
can’st thou thus behave? my pretty dove,
’Tis
thy Quinzica, come to seek his love,
In
all the same, except about his wife;
Dost
in this face a change observe my life?
’Tis
grieving for thy loss that makes me ill;
Did
ever I in aught deny thy will?
In
dress or play could any thee exceed?
And
had’st thou not whatever thou might’st
need?
To
please thee, oft I made myself a slave;
Such
thou art now; but thee again I crave.
Then
what dost think about thy honour, dear?—
Said
she, with ire, I neither know nor fear;
Is
this a time to guard it, do you say?
What
pain was shown by any one, I pray;
When
I was forc’d to wed a man like you,
Old,
impotent, and hateful to the view,
While
Yetthings took quite another turn with me
In
tune my husband never proved to be,
Except
a feast or two throughout the year;
From
Pagamin I met a diff’rent cheer;
Another
lesson presently he taught;
The
life’s sweet pleasures more the pirate brought,
In
two short days, than e’er I had from you
In
those four years that only you I knew.
Prayleave me husband:—let me have my will
Insist
not on my living with you still;
No
calendars with Pagamin are seen—
Far
better treated with the man I’ve been.
My
other friends and you much worse deserved:
The
spouse, for taking me when quite unnerved,
And
they, for giving preference base to gold,
To
those pure joys—far better thought than
told.
But
Pagamin in ev’ry way can please;
And
though no code he owns, yet all is ease;
Himself
will tell you what has passed this morn,
His
actions would a sov’reign prince adorn.
Such
information may excite surprise,
But
now the truth, ’twere useless to disguise,
Nothing
will gain belief, we’ve no one near
To
witness our discourse:—adieu, my dear,
To
all your festivals—I’m flesh and blood:—
Gems,
dresses, ornaments, do little good;
You
know full well, betwixt the head and heel,
Though
little’s said, yet much we often feel.
On
this she stopt, and Richard dropt his chin,
Rejoiced
to ’scape from such unwelcome din.
Bartholomea,
pleased with what had passed;
No
disposition showed to hold him fast;
The
downcast husband felt such poignant grief,
With
ills where age can scarcely hope relief,
That
soon he left this busy stage of life,
And
Pagamin the widow took to wife.
The
deed was just, for neither of the two
E’er
felt what oft in Richard rose to view;
From
feeling proof arose their mutual choice;
And
’tween them ne’er was heard the jarring
voice.
Beholda lesson for the aged man;
Who
thinks, when old, to act as he began;
But,
if the sage a yielding dotard seems,
His
work is done by those the wife esteems;
Complaints
are never heard; no thrilling fears;
And
ev’ry one around at ease appears.
Theavaricious wife and
tricking
gallant
Who knows the world will never feel surprise,
When men are duped by artful women’s eves;
Though death his weapon freely will unfold;
Love’s pranks, we find, are ever ruled by gold.
To vain coquettes I doubtless here allude;
But spite of arts with which they’re oft endued;
I hope to show (our honour to maintain,)
We can, among a hundred of the train,
Catch one at least, and play some cunning trick:—
For instance, take blithe Gulphar’s wily nick,
Who gained (old soldier-like) his ardent aim,
And gratis got an avaricious dame.
Lookwell at this, ye heroes of the sword,
Howe’er
with wily freaks your heads be stored,
Beyond
a doubt, at court I now could find,
A
host of lovers of the Gulphar kind.
To
Gasperin’s so often went our wight,
The
wife at length became his sole delight,
Whose
youth and beauty were by all confessed;
But,
’midst these charms, such av’rice she possessed,
The
warmest love was checked—a thing not rare,
In
modern times at least, among the fair.
’Tis
true, as I’ve already said, with such
Sighs
naught avail, and promises not much;
Without
a purse, who wishes should express,
Would
vainly hope to gain a soft caress.
The
god of love no other charm employs,
Then
cards, and dress, and pleasure’s cheering joys;
From
whose gay shops more cuckolds we behold,
Than
heroes sallied from Troy’s horse of old.
Butto our lady’s humour let’s adhere;
Sighs
passed for naught: they entered not her ear;
’Twas
speaking only would the charmer please,
The
reader, without doubt, my meaning sees;
Gay
Gulphar plainly spoke, and named a sum
A
hundred pounds, she listened:—was o’ercome.
Ourwight the cash by Gasperin was lent;
And
then the husband to the country went,
Without
suspecting that his loving mate,
Designed
with horns to ornament his pate.
Themoney artful Gulphar gave the dame,
While
friends were round who could observe the same;
Here,
said the spark, a hundred pounds receive,
’Tis
for your spouse:—the cash with you I leave.
The
lady fancied what the swain had said,
Was
policy, and to concealment led.
Nextmorn our belle regaled the arch gallant,
Fulfilled
his promise:—and his eager want.
Day
after day he followed up the game;
For
cash he took, and int’rest on the same;
Good
payers get, we always may conclude,
Full
measure served, whatever is pursued.
WhenGasperin returned, our crafty wight,
Before
the wife addressed her spouse at sight;
Said
he the cash I’ve to your lady paid,
Not
having (as I feared) required its aid;
To
save mistakes, pray cross it in your book;
The
lady, thunderstruck, with terror shook;
Allowed
the payment; ’twas a case too clear;
In
truth for character she ’gan to fear.
But
most howe’er she grudged the surplus joy,
Bestowed
on such a vile, deceitful boy.
Theloss was doubtless great in ev’ry view
Around
the town the wicked Gulphar flew;
In
all the streets, at every house to tell,
How
nicely he had trick’d the greedy belle.
To blame him useless ’twere
you must allow;
The French such frolicks readily avow.
The jealous husband
A certain husband who, from jealous fear,
With one eye slept while t’other watched his dear,
Deprived his wife of every social joy,
(Friends oft the jealous character annoy,)
And made a fine collection in a book,
Of tricks with which the sex their wishes hook.
Strange fool! as if their wiles, to speak the truth,
Were not a hydra, both in age and youth.
Hiswife howe’er engaged his constant cares;
He
counted e’en the number of her hairs;
And
kept a hag who followed every hour,
Where’er
she went, each motion to devour;
Duenna
like, true semblance of a shade,
That
never quits, yet moves as if afraid.
Thisarch collection, like a prayer-book bound;
Was
in the blockhead’s pocket always found,
The
form religious of the work, he thought,
Would
prove a charm ’gainst vice whenever sought!
Oneholy day, it happened that our dame,
As
from the neighb’ring church she homeward came;
And
passed a house, some wight, concealed from view;
A
basket full of filth upon her threw.
Withanxious care apologies were made;
The
lady, frightened by the frolick played,
Quite
unsuspicious to the mansion went;
Her
aged friend for other clothes she sent,
Who
hurried home, and ent’ring out of breath;
Informed
old hunks—what pained him more than death
Zounds!
cried the latter, vainly I may look
To
find a case like this within my book;
A
dupe I’m made, and nothing can be worse:—
Hell
seize the work—’tis thoroughly a curse!
Notwrong he proved, for, truly to confess;
This
throwing dirt upon the lady’s dress
Was
done to get the hag, with Argus’ eyes
Removed
a certain distance from the prize.
The
gay gallant, who watched the lucky hour,
Felt
doubly blessed to have her in his power.
How vain our schemes to guard the wily sex!
Oft plots we find, that ev’ry sense perplex.
Go, jealous husbands, books of cases burn;
Caresses lavish, and you’ll find return.
The Gascon punished
A Gascon (being heard one day to swear,
That he’d possess’d a certain lovely fair,)
Was played a wily trick, and nicely served;
’Twas clear, from truth he shamefully had swerved:
But those who scandal propagate below,
Are prophets thought, and ev’ry action know;
While good, if spoken, scarcely is believed,
And must be viewed, or not for truth received.
Thedame, indeed, the Gascon only jeered,
And
e’er denied herself when he appeared;
But
when she met the wight, who sought to shine;
And
called her angel, beauteous and divine,
She
fled and hastened to a female friend,
Where
she could laugh, and at her ease unbend.
NearPhillis, (our fair fugitive) there dwelled
One
Eurilas, his nearest neighbour held;
His
wife was Cloris; ’twas with her our dove
Took
shelter from the Gascon’s forward love,
Whose
name was Dorilas; and Damon young,
(The
Gascon’s friend) on whom gay Cloris hung.
SweetPhillis, by her manner, you might see,
From
sly amours and dark intrigues was free;
The
value to possess her no one knew,
Though
all admired the lovely belle at view.
Just
twenty years she counted at the time,
And
now a widow was, though in her prime,
(Her
spouse, an aged dotard, worth a plum:—
Of
those whose loss to mourn no tears e’er come.)
Ourseraph fair, such loveliness possessed,
In
num’rous ways a Gascon could have blessed;
Above,
below, appeared angelic charms;
’Twas
Paradise, ’twas Heav’n, within her arms!
TheGascon was—a Gascon;—would you
more?
Who
knows a Gascon knows at least a score.
I
need not say what solemn vows he made;
Alike
with Normans Gascons are portrayed;
Their
oaths, indeed, won’t pass for Gospel truth;
But
we believe that Dorilas (the youth)
Loved
Phillis to his soul, our lady fair,
Yet
he would fain be thought successful there.
Oneday, said Phillis, with unusual glee,
Pretending
with the Gascon to be free:—
A
favour do me:—nothing very great;
Assist
to dupe one jealous of his mate;
You’ll
find it very easy to be done,
And
doubtless ’twill produce a deal of fun.
’Tis
our request (the plot you’ll say is deep,)
Togain but Phillis’s smiles, the Gascon said,
He’d
with the very devil go to bed.
Thenight arrived, our wight the chamber traced;
The
lights extinguished; Eurilas, too, placed;
The
Gascon ’gan to tremble in a trice,
And
soon with terror grew as cold as ice;
Durst
neither spit nor cough; still less encroach;
And
seemed to shrink, least t’other should approach;
Crept
near the edge; would scarcely room afford,
And
could have passed the scabbard of a sword.
Oftin the night his bed-fellow turned round;
At
length a finger on his nose he found,
Which
Dorilas exceedingly distressed;
But
more inquietude was in his breast,
For
fear the husband amorous should grow,
From
which incalculable ills might flow.
OurGascon ev’ry minute knew alarm;
’Twas
now a leg stretched out, and then an arm;
He
even thought he felt the husband’s beard;
But
presently arrived what more he feared.
A
Bell, conveniently, was near the bed,
Which
Eurilas to ring was often led;
At
this the Gascon swooned, so great his fear,
And
swore, for ever he’d renounce his dear.
But
no one coming, Eurilas, once more,
Resumed
his place, and ’gan again to snore.
Atlength, before the sun his head had reared;
The
door was opened, and a torch appeared.
Misfortune
then he fancied full in sight;
More
pleased he’d been to rise without a light,
And
clearly thought ’twas over with him now;
The
flame approached;—the drops ran o’er
his brow;
With
terror he for pardon humbly prayed:—
You
have it, cried a fair: be not dismayed;
’Twas
Phillis spoke, who Eurilas’s place
Had
filled, throughout the night, with wily grace,
And
now to Damon and his Cloris flew,
With
ridicule the Gascon to pursue;
Caresses lavish, and you’ll find return
While good, if spoken, scarcely is believed
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