‘You don’t say that, John!’
’I tell you, Jane, I couldn’t ’ardly
believe my ears. They was married on Tuesday
last, as we know well, and to-day’s Times to
prove it, and yet if you’ll believe me, they
was talkin’ about ’ow they ’ad travelled
alone abroad—’
‘Never, John!’
’And alone in a Swiss ‘otel!’
‘My goodness!’
‘And a steamer too.’
‘Well, there! I’ll never trust any
one again.’
‘Oh, a perfec’ pair of scorchers.
But I’ll let ’im see as I knows it.
I’ll put that Times before ’im to-night
at dinner as sure as my name’s John.’
’And a good lesson to them, too! If you
didn’t say you’d ’eard it from their
own lips, John, I never could ’ave believed it.
It’s things like that as shakes your trust
in ‘uman nature.’
Maude and Frank were lingering at the table d’hote
over their walnuts and a glass of port wine, when
their waiter came softly behind them.
‘Beg pardon, sir, but did you see it in the
Times?’
‘See what?’
’That, sir. I thought that it might
be of interest to you and to your good lady to see
it.’
He had laid one page of the paper before them, with
his forefinger upon an item in the left-hand top corner.
Then he discreetly withdrew. Frank stared at
it in horror.
‘Maude, your people have gone and put it in.’
‘Our marriage!’
’Here it is! Listen! “Crosse—Selby.
30th June, at St. Monica’s Church, by the Rev.
John Tudwell, M.A., Vicar of St. Monica’s, Frank
Crosse, of Maybury Road, Woking, to Maude Selby, eldest
daughter of Robert Selby, Esq., of St. Albans.”
Great Scot, Maude! what shall we do?’
‘Well, dear, does it matter?’
‘Matter! It’s simply awful!’
‘I don’t mind much if they do know.’
’But my reminiscences, Maude! The travels
in the Tyrol! The Swiss Hotel! The Stateroom!
Great goodness, how I have put my foot into it.’
Maude burst out laughing.
‘You old dear!’ she cried, ’I don’t
believe you are a bit better as a conspirator than
I am. There’s only one thing you can do.
Give the waiter half a crown, tell him the truth,
and don’t conspire any more.’
And so ignominiously ended the attempt which so many
have made, and at which so many have failed.
Take warning, gentle reader, and you also, gentler
reader still, when your own turn comes.
The days of holiday were over, and for each of them
the duties of life were waiting. For him it
was his work, and for her, her housekeeping.
They both welcomed the change, for there was a rush
and a want of privacy about the hotel life which had
been amusing at first, but was now becoming irksome.
It was pleasant, as they rolled out of Waterloo Station
that summer night, to know that their cosy little
