Which explains why Don Perez Goneti practised the deception; and of the wonderful discovery of A new mode of punishing ambassadors.
When it was night, and not a beetle was heard, and the guards found great difficulty in keeping awake, Don Perez Goneti came to the house of General Potter, disguised in the robe of a priest. He found the general engaged over dispatches to his government, and letters to his wife Polly; in both of which he set forth in sad and pitiful sentences, “the dire fate” that awaited him. As for Mr. Tickler, he had not an ounce of courage left, but was nevertheless writing articles for the seven New York newspapers, of which he was correspondent. According to Tickler, as set forth in these grave articles, no greater outrage had ever been committed upon the unoffending representatives of the United States, and for which he demanded summary vengeance. “Gentlemen! said the intruder, discovering himself, “I am Don Perez Goneti, the lawgiver! Fear not, for I come to cheer you. This king, you must know, is a great knave, and so under the thumb of the priests that an honest man like myself is not safe a day in his office. Having long meditated his overthrow, I come to offer you the hand of friendship in your distress, and to say that if you will join me in carrying out my design (I have a strong party at my command), we will teach this king what it is to be a subject. By the saints, he has no good will toward your country, as you have seen.”
“What you propose is exactly to my liking, for I must tell you that the very same thing has occupied my thoughts; but since I am to be hanged in the morning, why there’s an end to all.” Don Perez smiled, and assured the general there would be no hanging, since the king was a great coward, and feared the penalty of such an act. “Honestly, your excellency, he has already revoked the sentence, and substituted a novel but very harmless punishment, which when you have endured, he will order you out of the country.” This cheering news sent a thrill of joy to Tickler’s very heart, for he had been mourning his fate, dissolved in tears; declaring at the same time that dying in the service of ones country was not so desirable a business. Don Perez and the general now held a long consultation, and having sworn mutual hatred of the king and priests, agreed to join forces and seek his speedy overthrow. Don Perez also took charge of their letters and dispatches, which he promised to forward to Jollifee, a town on the coast, between which certain conspirators kept up a communication with New York.