his name became famous all over the state. As to the doctor, whose name was Killsly, the major described him as as arrant a rascal as ever compounded nostrum or thrust pill down the throat of unwilling patient. “You may have thought my conduct toward that man unusual, considering the habitual courtesy of my profession,” said the major, addressing the captain, “but I hold it right, that a man of honor should treat a great knave, which I knew him to be, precisely in the manner I did. Killsly, it was found, shortly after he came to live at the Cove, had been an abortionist in New York, where he dashed about in a livery of great brightness, and had a purloined crest of so curious a device that no one could make out what it meant, though several had applied to Mr. Hayes, of Broadway, who supplied the wives of grocers and linen drapers with arms and crests, (as the dwellers in Snob Avenue have it,) charging only four shillings and sixpence for his services, including advice as to what color the livery ought to be. Killsly was in high favor with what is there called fashionable society, which, out of sheer respect for his skill, afforded him no few opportunities for the exercise of it. At length he got mixed up in a singularly delicate but very common difficulty, which rendered it desirable to make a change of residence. Well, he came to the Cove, and here might have lived as every good man ought to live, loving God and keeping his fingers out of his neighbor’s affairs; but a damsel, who tossed her feathers at the rustics of the village, and would coquette only with city beaux, chanced to be overtaken by a by-blow and had need of his skill, it being necessary to protect her virtue, which her friends described as being whiter than snow. But death, which scruples not in such matters, betrayed the secret, and sent the whole village into a fever. There being no doubt of Killsly’s guilt in the matter, I thereupon had him arrested and brought before me; and, being the guardian of public morality, I ordered him to prison, there to await the sitting of the County Court. Believe me, gentlemen, I would, as I failed not to tell him, have had him well hanged, had the case been left entirely with me. But I leave it to others to speak of the justice of my judgments. Now, though I say it, he called me a fool; and for that it would have gone hard with him, since society can well afford to lose all such vagabonds. But justice was weak in the screws, and he at last escaped between what is called a flaw in the indictment and the ingenuity of his lawyer, as is generally the case with such knowing fellows.” All this and much more, the major said, and would have sworn it true. The sailors listened with grave demeanor, and were surprised and amazed at what they considered his extraordinary wisdom.
How news of an extraordinary character was received and restored the major to sound health; also A few remarks concerning the manufacture of heroes.