knew that should Kitty find out his intention she would
at once go to Mrs Villiers, and then Madame would
discover his baseness in ruining the girl. M.
Vandeloup, however, surveyed the whole situation calmly,
and was not ill-pleased at the position of affairs.
Life was beginning to bore him in Melbourne, and he
wanted to be amused. Here was a comedy worthy
of Moliere—a jealous woman, a rich lady,
and a handsome man.
‘My faith,’ said M. Vandeloup, smiling
to himself as he thought of the situation, ’it’s
a capital comedy, certainly; but I must take care
it doesn’t end as a tragedy.’
DISENCHANTMENT
It is said that ‘creaking doors hang the longest,’
and Mrs Pulchop, of Carthage Cottage, Richmond, was
an excellent illustration of the truth of this saying.
Thin, pale, with light bleached-looking hair, and
eyebrows and eyelashes to match, she looked so shadowy
and unsubstantial, than an impression was conveyed
to the onlooker that a breath might blow her away.
She was often heard to declare, when anything extra-ordinary
happened, that one might ’knock her down with
a feather’, which, as a matter of fact, was by
no means a stretch of fancy, provided the feather
was a strong one and Mrs Pulchop was taken unawares.
She was continually alluding to her ‘constitootion’,
as if she had an interest in politics, but in reality
she was referring to her state of health, which was
invariably bad. According to her own showing,
there was not a single disease under the sun with
which she had not been afflicted, and she could have
written a whole book on the subject of medicine, and
put herself in, in every instance, as an illustrative
case.
Mr Pulchop had long since departed this life, being
considerably assisted in his exit from this wicked
world by the quantity of patent medicines his wife
compelled him to take to cure him, which unfortunately,
however, had the opposite effect.
Mrs Pulchop said he had been a handsome man, but according
to the portrait she had of him he resembled a bull-dog
more than anything else in nature. The young
Pulchops, of which there were two, both of the female
sex, took after their father in appearance and their
mother in temperament, and from the time they could
talk and crawl knew as much about drops, poultices,
bandages, and draughts as many a hospital nurse of
mature age.
One day Vandeloup sent a telegram to Kitty saying
he would be home to dinner, and as he always required
something extra in the way of cooking, Kitty went
to interview Mrs Pulchop on the subject. She
found that lady wrapped up in a heavy shawl, turning
herself into a tea-kettle by drinking hot water, the
idea being, as she assured Kitty, to rouse up her
liver. Miss Topsy Pulchop was tying a bandage
round her face, as she felt a toothache coming on,
while Miss Anna Pulchop was unfortunately quite well,
and her occupation being gone, was seated disconsolately
at the window trying to imagine she felt pains in
her back.
