blushin’, but a business man who is in pollytics jus’ to see that th’ civil sarvice law gets thurly enfoorced, will give Lincoln Park an’ th’ public libr’y to th’ beef thrust, charge an admission price to th’ lake front an’ make it a felony f’r annywan to buy stove polish outside iv his store, an’ have it all put down to public improvemints with a pitcher iv him in th’ corner stone.

“Fortchnitly, Hinnissy, a rayformer is seldom a business man.  He thinks he is, but business men know diff’rent.  They know what he is.  He thinks business an’ honesty is th’ same thing.  He does, indeed.  He’s got thim mixed because they dhress alike.  His idee is that all he has to do to make a business administhration is to have honest men ar-round him.  Wrong.  I’m not sayin’, mind ye, that a man can’t do good work an’ be honest at th’ same time.  But whin I’m hirin’ a la-ad I find out first whether he is onto his job, an’ afther a few years I begin to suspect that he is honest, too.  Manny a dishonest man can lay brick sthraight an’ manny a man that wudden’t steal ye’er spoons will break ye’er furniture.  I don’t want Father Kelly to hear me, but I’d rather have a competint man who wud steal if I give him a chanst, but I won’t, do me plumbin’ thin a person that wud scorn to help himsilf but didn’t know how to wipe a joint.  Ivry man ought to be honest to start with, but to give a man an office jus’ because he’s honest is like ilictin’ him to Congress because he’s a pathrite, because he don’t bate his wife or because he always wears a right boot on th’ right foot.  A man ought to be honest to start with an’ afther that he ought to be crafty.  A pollytician who’s on’y honest is jus’ th’ same as bein’ out in a winther storm without anny clothes on.

“Another thing about rayform administhrations is they always think th’ on’y man that ought to hold a job is a lawyer.  Th’ raison is that in th’ coorse iv his thrainin’ a lawyer larns enough about ivrything to make a good front on anny subject to annybody who doesn’t know about it.  So whin th’ rayform administhration comes in th’ mayor says:  ‘Who’ll we make chief iv polis in place iv th’ misguided ruffyan who has held th’ job f’r twinty years?’ ‘Th’ man f’r th’ place,’ says th’ mayor’s adviser, ‘is Arthur Lightout,’ he says.  ’He’s an ixcillent lawyer, Yale, ‘95, an’ is well up on polis matthers.  Las’ year he read a paper on “The fine polis foorce iv London” befure th’ annyal meetin’ iv th’ S’ciety f’r Ladin’ th’ Mulligan Fam’ly to a Betther an’ Harder Life.  Besides,’ he says, ‘he’s been in th’ milishy an’ th’ foorce needs a man who’ll be afraid not to shoot in case iv public disturbance.’  So Arthur takes hold iv th’ constabulary an’ in a year th’ polis can all read Emerson an’ th’ burglars begin puttin’ up laddhers an’ block an’ tackles befure eight A.M.  An’ so it is on ivry side.  A lawyer has charge iv the city horse-shoein’, another wan is clanin’ th’ sthreets, th’ author iv ‘Gasamagoo