Seven Wives and Seven Prisons; Or, Experiences in the Life of a Matrimonial Monomaniac. a True Story eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 153 pages of information about Seven Wives and Seven Prisons; Or, Experiences in the Life of a Matrimonial Monomaniac. a True Story.
were, and so on.  The well-meaning landlady advised Sarah to go back home and get her parents consent before she married.  Sarah suggested that the very impossibility of getting such consent was the reason for her running away; nor did it appear how she was to go back home alone even if she desired to.  We saw that we could get no help there, so I countermanded my order for breakfast, offering at the same time to pay for it as if we had eaten it, ordered out my horse and drove on.  After riding some ten miles we arrived at another public house on the road, and as the landlord come out to the door I immediately asked him where I could find a justice of the peace?  He laughed, for he at once comprehended the whole situation, and said: 

“Well, well!  I am an old offender myself; I ran away with my wife; there is a justice of the peace two miles from here, and if you’ll come in I’ll have him here within an hour.”

We had reached the right place at last, for while the landlady was getting breakfast for us, and doing her best to make us comfortable and happy, the Old Offender himself took his horse and carriage and went for the justice.  By the time we had finished our breakfast he was back with him, and Sarah and I were married in “less than no time,” the Old Offender and his wife singing the certificate as witnesses.  I never paid a fee more gladly.  We were married now, and all the Scheimers in Pennsylvania were welcome to come and see us if they pleased.

No Scheimers came that day; but the day following came a deputation from that family, some half dozen delegates, and with them a constable from Easton, with a warrant to arrest Sarah for something-I never knew what-but at any rate he was to take her home if necessary by force.  The Old Offender declined to let these people into his house; Sarah told me to keep out of the way and she would see what was wanted.  Whereupon she boldly went to the door and greeted those of her acquaintances who were in the party.  The constable knew her, and told her he had come to take her home.  “But what if I refuse to go?” “Well then, I have a warrant to take you; but if you are married, I have no power over you.”  Well married I am, said Sarah, and she produced the certificate, and the Old Offender and his wife came out and declared that they witnessed the ceremony.

What was to be done? evidently nothing; only the constable ordered a whole barrel of ale to treat his posse and any one about tire town who chose to drink, and the barrel was rolled out on the grass, tapped, and for a half hour there was a great jollification, which was not exactly in honor of our wedding, but which afforded the greatest gratification to the constable, his retainers, and those who happened to gather to see what was going on.  This ended, and the bill paid, the Easton delegation got into their wagons and turned their horses heads towards home.

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Seven Wives and Seven Prisons; Or, Experiences in the Life of a Matrimonial Monomaniac. a True Story from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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